


We Built Sandcastles (That Washed Away)

by queenwakeupslayrepeat (twilight_moon09)



Series: Life Served Us Lemons (But We Made Lemonade) [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - The French Mistake, Beyoncé References, Black Character(s), Black Family, Cameos, Character(s) of Color, Cheating, Chuck is God, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, God Ships It, Gods, Hunters & Hunting, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Infidelity, Marriage, POV Multiple, Porn With Plot, Pregnancy, References to Depression, Saving People Hunting Things, Some Humor, Song Lyrics, Sorry Not Sorry, Triggers, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2018-11-13 23:04:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 55,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11195328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilight_moon09/pseuds/queenwakeupslayrepeat
Summary: After suffering a tragedy and losing the love of his life, Dean is thrusted back into the same alternate universe from years ago where Supernatural is a television show. Left with no choice, he soon finds that the life of Jensen Ackles has changed dramatically. Suddenly he is given a second chance, but will he be able to overcome the mistakes of his past?





	1. Dean – A Second Chance at Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Settle in, it's going to be a long note. ;)
> 
> First off, if you're not familiar with my previous works then let me warn you: I love Beyonce, so if you're not a fan of hers, you probably won't be a fan of me so this isn't for you.  
> That being said, I hope you enjoy this.  
> I wanted to get something off my chest for a moment. I love writing, and I enjoy posting the weird crazy shit I come up with on here. But the only thing I hate is my inability to finish the stories I write. There are so many ideas, so many stories I've started writing and never finished so I never posted them.  
> I decided to approach this particular tale a little differently. This story is so close to my heart, and it was a story I knew I had to finish. I started writing this story back in 2016, and promised myself I wouldn't post the first chapter until I was 75% done writing it.  
> What does that mean for you? If this story is well received, I'll be able to post chapters on time on a weekly basis, something I've never accomplished before. Even if the story isn't liked, I'll know I completed it for me.  
> I have so many other stories (read:universes) I've started that I would like to delve back into, (looking at you, 'And Darcy Thought Weird Science was Weird', 'Unapologetic', 'Beauty is Pain, but Is It Worth It?', and 'Captain Rogers Vs. The Avengers Court'), so I feel like this is a very necessary, very healthy way to start that journey.
> 
> Hope you enjoy. :)

**Chapter One: Dean – A Second Chance at Happiness**

Dean walked into the kitchen, the clock on the microwave telling him it was past four in the morning, and opened the fridge door. Twisting the cap off a beer, he took a long hard sip in an attempt to shake off the dream he just had. Silently he ran fingers through his hair, a small shiver running down his spine from the sweat that coated his back.

 

He hated that dream. He _hated_ that fucking dream. He hated reliving that memory in his sleep, as if he wasn’t constantly reminded of it when he was awake every day. As if his mistakes didn’t haunt every breath he took. As if he didn’t feel a pang of regret every time he walked past that closed door.

 

It was so vivid, just as real as when it was happening, and he felt all the emotions he felt on that day possess him. Every thought, every word, every action. When he closes his eyes, he relives it.

_“I just don’t know what to do anymore…” She sighed heavily and wiped her tears. She was seated on the floor against the bed, her chin resting on her knees as her light brown arms wrapped around her legs. Dean sat on the opposite side of the bed, his elbows on his knees as he rested his face in his hands. Even now, he was internally screaming at himself not to cry because the yelling voice of his father was echoing that real men don't cry in his mind._

_“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He said honestly, and it was true, he didn’t. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to handle this, how to process his emotions, how not to lash out or not shut down and become distant and cold._

_“I’m tired of fighting with you. I’m tired of being angry at you. I’m tired of you not talking to me. I hate myself for wishing I could hate you. I blame myself, and I will always blame myself. After the miscarriage, you wouldn’t even look at me. And when you did, you looked at me like I was something stuck on the bottom of your shoe. Like I was one of the monsters you hunt. Do you have any idea how that made me feel, on top of dealing with the aftermath of losing…” She trailed off as she was overwhelmed with emotion._

_Dean hung his head, ashamed. He hadn’t known how to deal with everything he was feeling at the time, and he admits he handled it wrong._

_“I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough…I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a child. I’m sorry I fucked everything up.” Dean could hear the tears in her voice, but said nothing._

_“You know, when I told you I was pregnant, I could tell you were excited. Scared shitless, yeah, but still excited. Sure, we hadn’t been together very long, but that was one of the few things we make sure we talked about in the beginning. We both agreed, a hunter’s life was no place raise a child, and we were both fine with that. But then it just…happened. And you were happy, Dean, I could see it. I could see it in your eyes, you started hoping. You wanted to make it work. Make **us** work. Like the saying goes, ‘when you know, you know’.”_

_“Bianca…” Dean rasped out, as a plea for her to stop._

_“And when I realized how badly you wanted it, how you were just as hopeful as I was, I **tried**. I tried harder than I ever tried for anything before. I did, Dean, I swear to God I really did try. I went to bed at a decent hour, I hydrated more, I ate healthier foods, I took prenatal vitamins. I tried for you, I really did. But it wasn’t enough…I wasn’t enough.” She was absolutely sobbing at this point._

_Dean felt something fall from his chin, and touched his face in shock. He was crying._

_“I wished I had been strong enough to keep the baby, Dean…then you would still love me.”_

_The first tear had many others follow, and Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He walked out the room, mindlessly going wherever his feet took him. Before he realized it, he was in the bunker's garage walking towards the impala with his keys in his hand. He hadn't even noticed that's where his feet were taking him. He drove away without a second thought and didn't look back._

_He did notice, when he finally got back, that her mustang was gone. He assumed all her things would be gone too._

Dean rubbed his eyes for the fourth time, willing the memories away. Feeling he needed something stronger, he grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Forgoing a glass, he drank straight from the bottle. Once he could see the bottom of the bottle, he felt his eyelids get heavy again. Stumbling into room with the door he would otherwise refuse to open in his right mind, he passed out on the bed. Somehow, the pillows still smelled like her.

 

When he woke up, he felt strange. For one, he noticed the pounding headache he knew should be feeling was missing. Second, the room smelled different. It didn’t smell like the bunker. Slowly opening his eyes, he realized he felt sunlight on his face. The bunker definitely didn’t have windows. He blinked repeatedly, taking in his surroundings. The room was large and airy, with a set of glass doors off to his right leading to a large balcony. The furniture was modern, but not impersonal enough that it felt like a hotel, and there was art on the walls. He was in a bedroom for sure, but it certainly wasn’t his. He looked down at himself, and saw he was still in his boxers under the covers. He felt under the pillows for his gun, but couldn’t find it. He looked at the expensive alarm clock on the table next to the bed, and realized it was nine in the morning.

“Sam?” He called out sleepily, and received no response. Slowly he left the bed, walking to the bathroom he could see on his left. As he relieved himself he woke up more, noticing little things about the place he was in. The bathroom was huge, and incredibly nice. With two sinks, and two stand up showers. It was when he went to wash his hands in the sink on the left with the shaving cream next to it that he noticed all the items next to the sink on the right. Make up, beauty creams, and lotions. Alarm bells going off in his head, he walked back into the bedroom to look around. Right next to the alarm clock was a picture of himself, kissing the cheek of a very happy Bianca. How had he missed that?

“What the fuck is going on. Sam!” He yelled again, this time more forcefully, but still received no response. He grabbed the phone charging next to the bed, a smartphone that was clearly not the burner phones he and Sam were used to having, and turned it on. The lock screen was another picture of him and Bianca. This time she was kissing his cheek. It was clear he took the picture. Swiping to unlock it, his eyes were drawn to the text message at top of the screen. ‘Just boarded the flight! About 2 take off, b there soon! XOXO -B’

Dean checked when the message was sent, and the time stamp read 7:32am. She would be here pretty damn soon then, depending on where she was flying from. Sooner than he was ready for. What the hell was happening? Was this a dream?

He slapped himself, and gritted his teeth at the sting, realizing that _yes_ , he _was_ awake. “Come on, Winchester.” He berated himself.

He sat down on the bed, deciding to scroll through the contacts on the phone. His heart dropped, reading the names listed. Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins…why did those names sound so familiar?

He again gritted his teeth, internally berating himself for being so stupid. Supernatural. That stupid fucking TV show. All too soon, he realized where he was. And who he was, apparently.

What was his name again? Jacob? Jeremy? Jen…Jensen! His name was Jensen! Jensen Ackles! Mentally giving himself a pat on the back, he decided to call Jared Padalecki. Last time he was trapped in this universe, Sam was trapped too. Maybe he’d get lucky.

“This is Jared!” Sam’s voice rang out on the other end.

“Jared! Hey buddy, good morning!” Dean tried to sound normal, but he knew he wasn’t succeeding. Jared picked up on it.

“Jensen, hey. You okay man?”

“What? Oh yeah, that’s me. I’m great man, I’m doing good. How about you?” He cringed at how odd he sounded.

Jared noticed, but decided not to comment. “I’m fine, thanks for asking. Has B made it in yet?”

“Who?”

“Bi-an-ca.” Jared said slowly, seriously wondering if something was wrong.

“Oh, no she’s not here yet. She should be soon though.” Dean sounded panicked even to his own ears.

“Okay, well give her my love when she gets in. We’re still on for the cook-out later right?”

“Yeah, of course…can’t wait.” Dean said, answering with false enthusiasm.

“Alright then…see you around 7.” Jared hung up, looking at his phone weird.

Dean looked down at his phone, mortified. So Sam wasn’t here. He was alone. He fought to keep his composure, and played the last ace up his sleeve. He closed his eyes, feeling just as silly as he always does when he has to do this.

“Oh Castiel, you feathery-assed virginal fairy of the lord, I pray you get you down here right now.” He waited, knowing it probably wouldn’t work because there was nothing supernatural in this world. It wasn’t like the world he came from.

The telltale sound of rustling feathers proved him wrong, and God was he happy to be wrong.

He opened his eyes. “Dean, you don’t have to use such language when you pray to me. I will come if you ask nicely, just the same.” Castiel huffed, and then took in his surroundings.

“Where are we?” He asked in confusion.

“That’s exactly the problem Cass! I’m pretty sure I got blown back to whatever the hell alternate reality you sent me and Sam to when you and Raphael were having fight night.”

“Curious.” Castiel said, still taking in his surroundings. Dean shook his head.

“There are few beings left that even have the power to accomplish something like this, Dean. This would take an amazing amount of power.” Castiel warned.

“I need a drink…” Dean muttered to himself, then looked up at Cass. “So who are we thinking? There’s a list of bastards out the door and around the block who want to get rid of us. And why isn’t Sam here?”

“I don’t know. I’m afraid I know just as much as you do at this point, Dean.”

Dean ran a hand down his face.

“So what do we do? Can you zap me back home like you always do? Or can we build another gateway, like we did last time?”

“I’m afraid it’s not going to be that simple. You were put here by an incredibly higher power for a reason, and my instincts tell me you won’t be able to leave until that reason is realized.”

“So what, you think God did this?”

“It seems to be the only logical explanation.”

“But why? After all the crap we’ve been through where he decidedly turned a blind eye, now he wants to start paying attention? Bull shit.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Dean. It’s not a likable theory, but it’s the only one we’ve got at the moment.”

Dean rubbed his eyes again, how in the hell can this be his life?

“Alright, so what’s the plan?”

“My advice? Play the role you’ve been given. I’ll go back to our reality and check with Heaven to see if anything can be done. Until then, I suggest you try and enjoy it.”

“Enjoy this? Seriously? How in the world do you expect me to enjoy this?” Dean yelled, annoyed.

“Think about it Dean. In this world there are no monsters, no angels, no demons, and none of your past ever happened. If you allow yourself, you might actually be able to find happiness.” Castiel said honestly.

Dean was quiet as he considered what Cass said. “I’ll be in touch.” Cass said, before leaving a second later.

Dean allowed himself a few more minutes to absorb the gravity of his situation, still unbelieving this was his life.

Resolving to just powering through it, he went over to the laptop on the desk by the sliding doors. It looked just like his laptop at home, but definitely a newer more expensive model. He typed in the same password he always uses, BustyAsianBeauties69, and was greeted by yet another picture of him and Bianca. Opening a search engine, he figured looking up his new name would be a good start on bridging the gap of what he knew since the last time he was here. Obviously, a lot happened. For one, he definitely wasn’t broke anymore. The first thing that popped up was of course, the same as last time. He was an American actor born in Texas who found fame as the costar of the popular television show Supernatural. “Tell me something I don’t know,” He said out loud.

He clicked on a link from two years ago, some gossip blog about a supposedly secret private wedding between him and Bianca. He skimmed the article, disregarding all the stuff about him. It was stuff he already knew, he was more curious about Bianca.

Apparently in this reality, she was world famous singer Bianca Clarke when they first met. He couldn’t fight the smile on his face, remembering how he’d always told her that her voice was beautiful. She apparently agreed to a walk-on role on the show since she was such a huge fan, contracted to appear for a three episode character arc as a victim of domestic violence being haunted by the ghost of her psychotic ex-boyfriend.

Dean shuddered, remembering how he and Sam first met her. Those 2 weeks trying to figure out how to salt and burn her abusive bastard-of-an-ex Shawn had been truly scary. There was one point where the spirit caught her and nearly killed her. Taking a deep breath, Dean decided to read on and not relive the memory.

After meeting on the set, sparks flew and the rest was history. There was a lot of speculation, but it was believed he proposed to her at his childhood home back in Texas in front of his whole family.

The secret wedding was also speculated to have taken place there as well, in month of April when most of the world assumes they had their first date.

He scoffs, calling bullshit, until his eye catches something on his left hand. He looks down, and sees a gold band on his ring finger. “Well that’s new.” He says out loud, wondering how he missed that this morning.

Dean scrolled down to a wedding photo, the only official one said to have been released by the two of them, and couldn’t believe how happy he looked. He hasn’t seen a picture of himself smiling that hard since he was a kid. As he looked at her in a beautiful white wedding dress, he tried to ignore the fluttering he felt in his stomach.

He clicked back to the search and was about to read up some more when he heard a voice call out through the house.

“Jay! Baby, are you awake?” Bianca’s voice floated up to him, and for a second he couldn’t believe she was really here. Realizing he should say something, he called back. “Yeah, I’m awake.”

He quickly logged out of the search and was about to close the laptop when she walked in the door. She noticed him sitting at the computer. When her brown eyes met his green ones, he felt like the air had been sucked from his lungs. She was here. She was _here_. And she looked exactly the same, except happier. Her light brown skin, her bright smile that lit up the room, her big full curly hair. It was like he was dreaming.

Her eyes darted over to his laptop suspiciously. “Really Jay? Porn at nine in the morning—”

“I wasn’t! I wasn’t looking at—” Dean sputtered, trying not to blush.

“Without me?” She finished, raising one perfectly arched eyebrow with a smile. Dean’s face grew into a smile, and he was impressed. “Well maybe now that you’re here, the party can get started.” He said smoothly, with his signature half smirk.

She rolled her eyes with a smile, assuring him she wasn’t annoyed. “Maybe later. I still need to unpack, eat, shower, and feed Dallas. Who missed you, by the way.” She says with a knowing smile, and walked down the hall.

He followed behind her, curiosity peaking.

As he walked through the house, something he realized he should have done earlier before she came home, he notices all the little things laying around. A guitar in the corner, a few rock posters…everything that just screamed Dean. But there were a few touches of Bianca as well…they’d always had a lot in common, but she was a nerd at heart. The bookshelf had the entire Harry Potter series. And Game of Thrones. And Lord of the Rings. And Anita Blake. ‘Don’t judge me.’ Was all she said whenever she came back to the bunker with boxes full of books. ‘Nerd,’ he’d always called her, same as Sam.

Dean nearly ran into Bianca where she was crouching on the ground because he hadn’t been paying attention. “Look who’s awake. Are you happy to be home? Huh? Are you happy to be back home? Well somebody missed you, yes they did!” She said in a happy jumpy voice to something Dean couldn’t see. He could hear straps unbuckling, and before he knew it she turned around with a baby.

A beautiful baby with curly, wild hair like her mother’s, with sun kissed skin and green eyes like his. There was a red bow pinned in the left side of her halo of light brown hair, and she was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt and black sneakers. Did they even make band t-shirts for babies? Apparently.

As soon as she locked eyes with him, Dean felt as if the entire world shifted under his feet. His heart felt tight in his chest. He was smitten.

“Did you miss Daddy?” Bianca coos softly, and the baby smiles and reaches up at him. Unable to resist, he holds his arms out as she hands the baby over. “Hi Dallas,” Dean says in a soft voice he didn’t know he possessed. The baby’s smile is all gums, with a hint of a tooth coming in. She leans forward to touch his face, running her chubby hands along the stubble on his jaw.

Dean is just moved, and completely speechless. He never thought in a million years he’d get a second chance at having this. He holds the baby close, in a tight hug, and smells her textured hair. That beautiful baby smell. She’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful. “Look at those cheeks!” He says, admiring the dimples she got from her mother. Bianca just laughs.

“I gotta tell ya, we made one hell of a gorgeous kid.” Dean says, smiling at Bianca. “Tell me about it. We’ll be beating the boys away with a stick.” She smirks and walked away, knowing that would get under his skin. “Boys? What boys? No boys, ever. I mean it.” Dean says seriously, and moves to follow her. After a thought, he grabs the grey baby bag off the couch and brings it with him.

When they make it to the kitchen, Dean sits at the luxurious wooden table situated in the middle. Bianca goes to the fridge, and starts taking out things to make for breakfast. “Lord help me if we ever have a boy who takes after you, the girls will be fainting in the streets.” She throws a smirk at him over her shoulder.

Dean scoffs, secretly enjoying the easiness of the conversation between them and realizing exactly how much he missed it. “Please, Dallas is gonna be bombshell. Just like her mom.” Dean gives her a smoldering look, and she looks up to catch his gaze. “Watch it, or else Dallas won’t be an only child for long.” She gives him a knowing smirk, and goes back to the pancake batter. Simultaneously, she’s heating up a bottle to give the baby.

Dean sighs, looking down at the baby in his arms who was completely enraptured by his growing beard. It was a lot to take in, but he decided he was definitely going to embrace it. Like Cass said, he should try and enjoy it. Looking around him, he has everything he was scared to want because he thought he’d never get to have it. He was determined to make the most of it.

“You know what I just realized?”

“What’s that?” Bianca asked, slowly pouring the batter into the pan half paying attention. Suddenly, she feels an arm around her waist catching her by surprise and bringing a smile to her face.

“I haven’t kissed my wife today.” Dean said with a panty-dropping smile. Unable to resist, he leans down and catches her full lips as she gasps. The baby, resting in his other arm, starts to clap with a smile. When they finally pull apart, she’s breathless. “What was that for?” She asked, happily shocked.

“Because I’m the luckiest man to be alive right now.” He answers smoothly. She flips the pancake, wondering exactly what had gotten into him. She wasn’t sure what changed, but she liked it.

Dean grabbed the bottle, and went back to the table. He may have many regrets about his past, everything that happened with Ben and Lisa being one of them, but man was he grateful for all the times he helped babysit her niece.

“So how was your trip?” He asked, conversationally.

She looked up again, surprised as if he doesn’t talk to her about stuff like this often. That’s weird.

“It was cool! Minimum paparazzi at the airport, and we pretty much stayed in at my mom’s place. Ordered a shit ton of pizza, I think I’m still full. Way too much for me to be eating, but it was just too damn good. I know my trainer is gonna make me pay for it in the gym next week though. Brooklyn is really nice this time of year, we spent a lot of time on her patio sitting outside in the sun and chillin’ in her pool. I got so many pictures of Dallas in that swimsuit you bought her! Oh, and the ones I bought her of course! The one that says mommy’s lil’ gangsta? We were looking through old photos and Ma found a picture of when I was a baby. Dallas looks exactly like me!” She laughed, and Dean just took in the pretty way her face lit up as she spoke.

“I even did her hair in the little pompadour Bruno wears all the time. I tweeted him a picture and he couldn’t stop laughing. The photo shoot and interview went well too, of course they wanted to get pictures of Dallas after my agent explicitly told them 'hell no' beforehand. But it is what it is, ya know? It’s funny, she ended up crawling into my lap in one of the photos anyway, and it was the cutest thing.”

Photo shoots? Paparazzi? Seriously, how famous was she? “Which magazine was the shoot for again?” He asked.

“Vogue. They set up the interview at my mom’s place, and wanted to know how the mommy life was treating me. I told them it was awesome, because I could sleep as late as Dallas does, I didn’t have to tour, and I could eat as much pie as I want.” Dean laughed. “Still, sometimes I do miss being on the road. Of course my manager has been bugging me about getting back in the studio too, but I think I’m having too much fun where I am right now.”

She turned around to glance at them, and to her surprise he was still listening to her.

“I’m not boring you, am I?” She asked, a little shy.

Dean looked genuinely surprised. “There is nothing you could ever do to bore me, babe.” He winked at her, but she still looked uncertain. Lately, when she talks to him he gets an annoyed look on his face like he’d rather be doing anything else. He didn’t have the look now, but she still felt unsure.

Dallas looked up at him with wide eyes as she drank her bottle. Dean looks down at her, then back up at Bianca with focus.

“I think she looks more like you than me.” He states with a smile, changing the subject.

Bianca scoffs, turning around to add another finished pancake to the stack. “Please, she has Ackles written all over her.” She gestured at the baby’s face with her spatula.

“Maybe so, but there’s so much you in there. Especially in her little nose…its beautiful.”

Yet again, he shocked her. She stares at him with a smile frozen on her face. When he senses her eyes on him, he looks up. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” She shakes out of her daze. “You seem…different.”

“Different in a bad way?”

“Not at all. In a good way. Definitely good.” She turns back around, trying to salvage a burnt pancake with no luck.

“So are you heading out soon?” She asked, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

He looked up confused, moving the baby to his shoulder to burp her. “I hadn’t planned on it. Did we have something to do today?”

She hesitates. It’s small, but he sees it. “No, not really. It’s just…whenever we come visit during film breaks, you always have other things you have to do since you’re off work for a few days.”

“Visit?” He asked dumbly.

She turns around from the stove to give him a look. “Yeah…visit. From home? In Dallas?” She studied the confusion on his face.

“Why don’t you guys live out here?” He asked, before he could stop himself.

She tries to hide the emotion on her face, but he can see that it bothers her. “You know why. You didn’t want us in Vancouver with you because you wanted to be allowed to work in peace.”

Dean closes his mouth, not knowing what could’ve been going through Jensen’s head when he made that choice, but pushing away the people he loved in his life was definitely a classic Dean Winchester move.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that…why don’t you guys move up here with me until we finish shooting this season?” She stops again, and looks at him in disbelief. “Really? You guys have only shot two episodes. You still have like, 21 to go.”

“Yeah, it’ll be great. I mean, it’s not like Dallas is in school yet, so we don’t have to worry about that. Maybe we could work on turning the den into a studio so you can work on your music from home.”

She was so shocked that she walked around the island and the table to face him, last pancake be damned. “Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my husband?” She crosses her arms and raises her brow in question.

Dean is alarmed, worried that she figured it out. “What do you mean?”

“You must be a skin walker or something. A Jefferson Starship? Some alien that replaced him, or some version of him from an alternate reality. Because there is no way _my_ husband, _Jensen Ackles_ , would ever let me take over his ‘man cave’ and turn it into a home studio.” She announces, with a hint of a smile on her lips.

“Skin walker, huh? So you’re a fan of the show?” He jokes, but she’s not buying it.

“Shuddup.” She rolled her eyes.

He decides to play it smooth. “Well there is, of course, the discussion of payment. Come on baby, I can’t just let you have my personal escape without there being something in it for me. You have to earn it somehow.” Yet again, he gives her that smoldering look that he knows goes straight to her core. And by the way her cheeks flushed and she shifted her stance, he absolutely succeeded.

“What did you have in mind?” She asked in a sultry voice, playing along.

He licks his lips, and her eyes dart down to follow the motion just like he thought they would. Now he knows he’s got her. So this Bianca definitely has a lot in common with the version of her from his reality. He couldn’t believe how much he missed her larger than life personality.

“Well earlier we were talking about how if I wasn’t careful, Dallas wouldn’t be the only baby in the house for much longer…I’m very interested in continuing the conversation. Specifically, what it takes to make the second baby happen. You’ll have to take your time and be very thorough though, I’m a slow learner. And very hands on.” He continued in his deep voice.

“Is that so?” She said seductively, stalking towards him.

“Damn straight.” He said, and when she was finally close enough he pulled her down into a searing kiss careful not to wake the sleeping baby in his arm. She brought a hand up to cup his cheek, and he leaned into the kiss further. Everything he needed, everything he dreamed of was right here.

She slowly pulled back, looking completely kiss-drunk. Dean gave himself another mental pat on the back. “I guess we’ll just have to see about that later, Mr. Ackles.” She replied breathily.

“You can count on it, Mrs. Ackles.” He winked at her and she blushed further.

As she went to put the finished pancakes on plates and grab the syrup and butter, she hardly noticed him leaving the room. When she made it back to the table he was back, and putting the sleeping baby in her car seat near them. He then sat down and pulled his wife onto his lap, much to her surprise, and pulled a plate of pancakes over to them. He cut them up and speared a really syrup-soaked square, knowing it was her favorite. To her complete surprise, he fed them both while rubbing his free hand along her side. Immensely enjoying the affection and attention, and hoping it wasn’t a dream, she rested her head on his shoulder and decided to just enjoy it.


	2. Castiel – Going With The Flow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel returns home to their reality.

 

**Chapter Two: Castiel – Going With The Flow**

 

 

Castiel returns to the bunker, fully intent on finding out what was going on. His first mission was to find Sam, but he ended up appearing in Dean’s room first. He was about to speak and make his presence known, but what he observed rendered him speechless.

Dean was there, standing in front of his dresser, checking himself repeatedly in the mirror on the wall. Panic was clear in his eyes, as he kept repeatedly pinching and slapping himself.

“It’s a dream, it’s just a dream, it’s just a bad fucking dream…” He muttered to himself over and over, rubbing over the anti-possession tattoo permanently tattooed over his heart as if it should wipe away. His fingers traveled his skin, picking at the scars and bumps that had long since healed over.

Castiel knew immediately, this wasn’t Dean he was looking at…it was Jensen Ackles. Somehow, the two of them had switched places…something that did not happen the last time the switch occurred.

“Dean! You awake man? You’ve been asleep for hours, I checked your room and found you in here…” Sam yelled through the door, obviously confused.

“Yeah, just…just handling a few things!” Jensen screamed back, focusing now on banging against the bunker walls to make sure they weren’t false. “I need some alone time!” He finished in a panic.

“Dude, if you needed some private time, you could of just said it.” Sam walked away, clearly disgusted with his older brother’s antics. _What did he assume Dean was doing?_ Castiel wondered. And then the answer was obvious to him, he assumed Dean was masturbating. Castiel couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed, and had no doubt in his mind that if the elder Winchester was here he would have teased him for being so clueless.

“The walls are real, fuck me, the walls are real!” Jensen was still muttering to himself like a mad man, his heart beat racing loud enough that Cass could hear it.

Feeling that enough time had passed, Cass put a foot forth to step in and explain the madness, but felt a crushing wave of doubt pass over his being. He looked around the room, fruitlessly he knew, to see if he could spot the being responsible. Someone, or something rather, did not want him to intervene.

Castiel couldn’t explain it, but there was a force, a sense of ‘don’t touch’ hovering over the entire situation. Where had he felt this sensation before?

Feeling even more embarrassed, he rolled his eyes at his own stupidity yet again.

This was God’s will.

He was filled with curiosity at what exactly was happening. Why God had taken a particular interest in the life of Dean Winchester, when during all the events prior he chose to be silent?

What exactly God’s plan was by doing this?

And why, exactly, was Jensen Ackles wrangled into the mix?

Castiel thought, for a brief moment, about the potential happiness that Dean could be experiencing in the other reality if he just released the guilt he’d been holding on to for so long, and lowered his walls to let life in. He smiled, if only briefly, at the possibility. Dean Winchester was his friend, and Castiel wanted him to know the joy of happiness. The Winchesters had only known a life of pain and suffering for so long, the very opportunity of hope might refuel their fires and remind them that what they did on the daily basis mattered, and was absolutely worth fighting for.

Castiel realized, with elation, that for the first time since he discovered his own free will and began to question his father’s plan…

This time, he would not question it.

 _Dean would be proud of me_ , he thought to himself. He was 'going with the flow'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more for this week...kind of felt like the first chapter wasn't enough to pull you in, ya know? Updates every Friday! :)


	3. Jensen - It's All Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen realizes he's not dreaming.

 

**Chapter Three: Jensen – It’s All Real**

 

 

“This can’t be real…this isn’t happening…” He panicked in the mirror, just as he had been doing for the last 20 minutes. He sat down on the bed, and his head fell in his hands as he took deep breaths. What was he doing here? How did he get here? How was this not a dream? It all seemed so real…there was no way he was still dreaming. The sting he felt on his left cheek from slapping himself was a constant stinging reminder of that.

So if it was real, where in the flying fuck was he? Had he been kidnapped by insane fans that recreated every detail from the set? Did they drug him, and tattoo his chest while he was unconscious? Fucking hell, what if they did stuff to him while he was knocked out? Butt stuff?

He walked over to the dresser one last time, and pulled open the bottom right drawer. Carved into the bottom, all the clothes now long gone, were the initials D.W. + B.C. That’s a detail only the cast, writers, and crew knew of. He remembered the day they shot he and Bianca, or should he say Dean and Bianca, carving it there. It was something they’d filmed, but had been cut out of the episode. It didn’t even make the deleted scenes on the DVDs. How in the hell was it even there?

Maybe she was here! Yeah, maybe Bianca was right outside the door and he’d just been too chicken shit to leave the room because he was freaking out. His heart raced at the thought of seeing his wife.

He grabbed the flannel shirt that’d been left on the chair by bed. With a deep breath, he put on the shirt and opened the door.

He couldn’t believe his eyes. It was real. The Men of Letters’ bunker. The books, the weapons on display, everything. The room was spinning, making Jensen lightheaded. He felt sick to his stomach, it was like he stepped into the twilight zone. He was so enraptured he didn’t even notice Sam approaching him.

“Hey man, so get this—I think if we hit up the local library—”

“Sweet Jesus!” Jensen screamed holding his chest, after jumping a foot in the air.

Sam looked him up and down in confusion. “You okay?”

Jensen rubbed his chest as he willed his heart rate to slow down, clearly annoyed. “Don’t you wear a bell or something? You can’t sneak up on people like that!”

Sam regarded him one more time before shaking his head deciding to let it go. “I’ll consider that next time.” Jensen nodded.

Sam lifted the laptop so Jensen could see it. “So get this—those murders we were investigating in that small town about 30 minutes outside Houston? Turns out it wasn’t what we thought. I know we agreed it was probably a vengeful spirit, but it just isn’t sitting right with me. I guess we’ll find out more when we get there, but I have a feeling—”

“Murders?” Jensen asked.

Sam looked surprised. “Yeah.”

“In Houston?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we were looking into it yesterday.”

“Episode 23 of last season…” Jensen mumbled under his breath, catching on.

Sam was getting worried. “Are you sure you’re feeling ok?”

Jensen picked up on the fact that he was making Sam suspicious. “What? No, I’m fine. Just feels like I’m waking up with the world’s worst hangover…” He said, rubbing his forehead for effect.

Sam didn’t seem entirely convinced. “If you say so.”

Jensen couldn’t think of any reason why Jared was here, or why he was in character, but he figured it was best to just act like nothing was wrong. He knew everything about this was off, but something inside him was screaming at him not to question it. So he decided in that moment that he wouldn’t. “So, when are we headin’ out?”

“As soon as possible. I figured we’d eat and then hit the road.”

Jensen nodded and slipped into character. “Sounds like a plan. I’m gonna leak the lizard.” He said, walking off toward the direction he thinks he remembered the showers to be in. He hoped he’d adapted the Dean persona well enough, his nerves were still riled.

Later, after they’d had breakfast, they packed up and hit the road. About 2 hours into the trip, Jensen was starting to get annoyed. They’d been listening to nothing but the ‘Greatest Hits of Mullet Rock’ since they started driving, and Jensen was getting sick of it. Fed up, he reached back into his bag and pulled out the auxiliary cord he snagged that Sam left on the counter in the bunker. Reaching over into the glove compartment and startling Sam, he grabbed the MP3 player Sam kept in there. He selected a song after scrolling for a couple seconds, and Sam looked at him like he’d grown two heads.

Feeling Sam’s eyes burning a hole through his head, he decided to address the elephant in the room. “What? You’re looking at me like I grew horns or some shit.” Jensen rolled his eyes.

Sam was stunned. “Nothing, it’s just…since when do you like Taylor Swift?” said Sam.

Jensen, embarrassed, hesitated for only a moment. He was thoroughly convinced that ‘XO’ was his wife’s song, not Taylor Swift’s. “Since when do you have Taylor Swift on your MP3?” He asked smartly.

Sam, thinking better of it, decidedly wisely not to comment.

Hours later they arrived in the little town, a dusty place named Hive County. Jensen was happy to exit the impala and stretch his legs while Sam paid for the motel room. After bringing all the gear in and getting settled, Jensen fell back on his bed with a sigh.

“Tired already? We just got here.” Sam asked, amused.

Jensen rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, I guess I was more tired than I realized.” He rolled his shoulders, feeling absolutely exhausted with his situation and the day had barely even started. Sam set up shop at the small table near the kitchenette, already surfing on his laptop. “Well if you need to still catch a few Z’s, it’s cool. I can just hit up the police station and see what the cops dug up about the vics.”

“Yeah, that aint a bad idea. I could use an hour or two.” Jensen said, still trying to get used to playing the Dean persona constantly. Mentally, he was at a loss. In the last episode they filmed, Sam’s character had only mentioned that this would be their next case. He had no idea what was going to happen, or even what they were hunting. More importantly, he had no idea what he was going to do if the time came for them to get physical. Stunts were one thing, live ammo and sharpened machetes were quite another.

He figured he could use the hour alone to search the web, and see what was the same and what was possibly different about this world. He was a little ashamed to admit it, but he definitely needed something that was familiar at this point.

“Sounds good. I’ll come back later and pick you up so we can head to the diner.” Sam said, taking a final glance at his computer.

“I just gotta iron my FED threads and I’ll be good to go when you get back.”

Sam regarded his brother cautiously, knowing what he was about to say next might upset him. “Also, I was thinking, since we were in town…maybe we could hit up Bianca for help on the case. This is her home turf.” He almost held his breath waiting for his response.

Jensen perked up, hearing her name. God, he missed her. Things may not have been exactly perfect between them before he got dumped here, but she was still his wife. His heart started racing at the thought of being able to see her. He felt a pang of doubt though, as he realized there was a huge possibility that she wouldn’t be his version of her. He struggled to remember what happened the last time she appeared on the show, but his mind was coming up blank. It was a couple years ago. Then he realized he was taking too long to respond.

Sam sat quietly as he watched all the emotions fly over his brother’s face. “Uh…yeah Sammy, see if she wants to help.” Jensen finally answered.

Sam was speechless. “Really?” He asked, hesitant to smile because he didn’t want to ruin it.

“Yeah, she might have a better idea of what’s going on than we do.” Jensen said gruffly. After a few seconds, he felt Sam’s eyes on him. “What?”

“I just…I just expected you to yell, or get angry and tell me to go to hell for even bringing her up. You haven’t even said her name since she left…we don’t talk about her.” Sam said softly.

Jensen was thoughtful for a moment. “The worst she could do is say no.” He said maturely.

Sam was quiet, feeling pride for his brother. He wasn’t sure what was going on with Dean, but he was happy for the improvement.

Sam left, and Jensen tried to make the most of his time. He looked through their journals, trying to reacquaint himself with the lore. He’d never been more thankful for his good memory, because he luckily remembered a lot more than he thought he did. By the time Sam made it back he was dressed, and had pretty good working theory on what they were dealing with.

“Hey man. Did you find out anything from the cops?” Jensen asked, trying to fix his tie in the mirror.

Sam scoffed. “Not much. All of the vics were murdered by their wives and girlfriends, and all the women were waitresses at the same diner. Miss Tina’s, next to the truck stop outside of town.”

“Yikes, complain about the meatloaf being too dry and you get your head bashed in.” Jensen pulled at his tie.

“There’s more, Dean. When I found the case in the papers, it mentioned that all the perps worked at the same diner, but it never mentioned the name. Last I spoke to Bianca, she was waitressing outside of Houston. She said the place was called Miss Tina’s.” Sam said.

Jensen froze, unsure of what to say. “You kept in touch with her?”

“Listen…” Sam was thoughtful, choosing his words carefully. “When things ended between the two of you, it was hard on both of you. But that didn’t stop Bianca from being family. Like Bobby always said…”

“Family don’t end with blood.” Jensen finished for him, feeling a little ashamed. Of course Sam would still be close with her, they were thick as thieves when her character was still on the show. He felt another throb in his head as he tried to remember once again what happened between his character and hers in her last episode on the show, but he was still coming up blank. Almost as if something were blocking his thought processes when it came to her character’s final episodes.

“We need to get out there as soon as possible. I know she can handle herself, but better safe than sorry.” He said, walking out the door. No doubt this version of her was capable of taking care of herself, but the thought of his wife being hunted by some creature still unsettled him.

Sam cracked a smile, feeling good about seeing his brother’s protective side over Bianca. “Let’s roll.”

Sam had been repeatedly trying to call her phone on the way to the diner, and was getting no answer. Jensen was becoming more and more worried by the minute. “Relax dude, she probably just dropped in the toilet or something again.” Sam said, trying to calm his brother down. But Jensen would hear none of it. He sped all the way, only slowing down to pull onto the gravel that surrounded the diner.

It was a large place, next to a well-lit truck stop way out of the way. But the food must have been good, because the place was packed.

They walked in to be greeted by a cheery hostess wearing way too much makeup. “Hi, welcome to Ms. Tina’s. Are you dining in today?” She asked, shooting a seductive smile Sam’s way. Jensen couldn’t help but find amusement in his discomfort. “Why yes,” He leaned forward to read her name tag. “Jasmine. We’re also looking for a girl who works here. Goes by the name of Bianca Stark?” He said politely, giving the name that Sam had told him in the car. While Sam and Dean always chose the last names of famous musicians, she decided to be different and use the last names of some of her favorite literary characters. Turns out this time, she was from Winterfell.

The girl deflated, obviously disappointed. “Have a seat in a booth…I’ll send her right out.” She walked away annoyed. Sam and Dean sit down, and look at the menus while they wait. Five minutes later, Bianca walks up and barely looks up from her notepad. “Welcome to Miss Tina’s. My name is Bianca, I’ll be your server today. Can I start you with a hot cup of coff—” She says mindlessly, before Sam clears his throat and she looks up.

“Sammy? Oh, my god!” Her face lights up, and the exhaustion on her face from seconds before is gone. He stands up and she jumps up to hug him, his larger size dwarfing her. “What are you doing here? You never told me you were coming to town!” She says with her arms wrapped around his neck.

Since she hasn’t noticed him yet, Jensen takes this moment to really look at her. She looked exactly the same, with the exception of her hair and a few worry lines on her face. While he knows his wife’s hair to be big and long, the Bianca in front of him wore her hair much shorter and a little wilder. But she was just as stunning, and her curves still showed through the hideous yellow and red uniform she had to wear.

“We tried calling, but you never picked up!” Sam told her, happy to see her.

“Oh, I dropped my phone in the sink washing dishes! I’m going to the store tomorrow to get—wait, we?” She said, finally picking up on what he said. She looked down at Jensen in the booth, and her expression fell. “Dean…” She said softly, as if it pained her to do so.

“Bianca…you look fantastic.” Jensen said, still speechless. She pursed her lips and gave same a dirty look. “Thanks, depression does wonders for your figure.” She said sarcastically and turned to Sam. “Why are you here Sam? It’s obviously not just to visit.” _Or else you would’ve come alone_ was unspoken, yet clear to everyone listening. Her betrayal was clear in her voice.

“Uh, actually we’re working the case involving your coworkers who went all crazy on their husbands.” He said, his eyes quietly begging her not to be mad at him.

“You think it’s _your_ type of case?” She said, clearly inferring everything that falls under the umbrella of weird.

“Four women come home from working at the same place and decide to carve their boyfriends up like last Thanksgiving’s turkey…yeah, it sounds like our thing.” Dean smirked.

As soon as he spoke, she gave him a look as if to ask, ‘who gave him permission to speak?’. He raised his hands in surrender, cowering under her glare.

“Those girls were my coworkers…we were friends.” She told him off, not caring for his insensitive attitude.

“Which is why we came to you,” Sam told her, trying to break it up before she started yelling at him. “We could use your help on this thing.”

She folded her arms and considered. “I’m up for my break in a minute. Meet me out back in 10.” And she stormed off back into the kitchen. Jensen couldn’t help but watch the way her hips switched as she left. “Well at least that hasn’t changed.” He mumbled to himself as her hips swayed. Her temper was just as fiery as well.

“Tell me about it. She looked like she was trying to set you on fire with her eyes. Do me a favor, just don’t antagonize her? She won’t help us if she’s too busy trying to skin you alive, and we could really use her on this.”

Jensen got up and started to dust himself off. “Trust me Sammy, I’m walking on eggshells from now on. I like my privates exactly where they are, thank you very much.” Sam shook his head at his brother and followed him out the door around to the back of the restaurant.

Ten minutes later, she finally emerged from the back door of the restaurant. Sam and Dean were waiting by the impala. As she walked over, Jensen couldn’t help but admire her as the wind blew through her curls. It was almost cinematic, the beautiful love of his life slowly walking towards them. He shook his head, willing the magic away so he could focus.

“Alright, so where are you guys at with the case? Do you know what you’re dealing with?” She asked, getting straight to business.

“We got a working theory. We know that the girls all came home from work, like any other day, and their significant others said or did something to push them over the edge.” Sam answered.

“I was working the same shift with two of the girls the nights of their incidents, there was nothing strange or out of the ordinary about it. They worked their shifts and everybody went home, no noticeable changes in behavior. What did they tell the cops? Did they say they felt possessed? Or like they were on drugs? Any recollection of the murders?” She asked.

Jensen shook his head. “No drugs, no possessions, no E.M.F. or anything else. But they all remember the murders vividly and confessed to being guilty.”

“I only got to interrogate one of them, the second girl named Kelly. She wouldn’t say much in the beginning, but in the end she admitted to having an affair.” Sam added.

“You’re kidding!” She said, shocked.

“I wish I was. She said she met the guy at work, and he looked like everything she’d ever dreamed of. They hooked up in the back of her car and she gave him all her tips. He told her he loved her and the only way they could be together forever is if she murdered her husband Rick. He promised to run away with her and live out the rest of their days in Cuba.”

Bianca stood there and chewed her lip, her eyes were downcast. “Kelly was a good person. She was my closest friend. She loved her kids, and she loved her husband with all her heart. She was the one who helped me when I first move back here after—”

She stopped herself, cutting her eyes over at Jensen and away again. “after everything.” She finished quietly.

Jensen, feeling too many emotions about the possibilities in her words, decided to move past it. “After digging deeper, we found out that all of them had similar stories. They met a guy at work who looked like their every fantasy, and after giving him all their money, he convinced them to go all cell block tango.”

“Dude…did you just make a Chicago reference?” Sam asked, surprised.

“Shuddup, it’s a good musical.” He tells him off, knowing full well she was reason he’d even heard of it.

Sam shook his head, and decided to ignore it. “So what do you think it is?” Finally asked, wrapping her arms around herself to fight off the chill in the air. Jensen hesitated, feeling the urge to give her his suit jacket.

“My guess? It’s a siren.” Jensen answered.

“Siren? I thought they only targeted men.” She said skeptically, giving him an ‘are you stupid’ look. Damn, she was sexy when she was annoyed at him.

“That’s what we thought too, but it fits.” Sam said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

She looked off in the distance, taking in everything they said. “Alright, so what’s the plan?”

“Well if we’re right, it’s good because we know how to gank the son of a bitch,” said Jensen.

“But if we’re wrong, and we go toe to toe with this thing without the right weapon, we’ll be caught with our pants down.” Sam finished.

She looked at them both. “So you’re winging it?” She asked them.

Sam shrugged. “Pretty much.”

She nodded to herself. “Okay, I’m in.”

Jensen looked her up and down. “In what?”

“I’m in! I’m helping you guys catch this piece of shit. You’re obviously gonna need bait, and I’ve already been dangling my sweet chocolate ass on the hook for days now.”

Jensen shook his head. He’d had every intention of staying civil during this meeting, but there was no way he was gonna put his wife in danger. Alternate reality version or not. “No way. Not up for discussion.”

“Excuse me?” She glared at him, stepping in his face.

“You’re not throwing yourself out there as bait for this thing. I won’t allow it.” He yelled.

“You won’t allow it? You don’t get to tell me what to do, Winchester.” She yelled right back.

“You can yell all you want, but you’re not doing it.” Jensen shouted, looking her dead in the eye.

She took a step closer into his space, to get in his face. “Are you gonna stop me? In what world would you ever still be able to tell me what to do? Have you lost yo’ mind? You lost the right to dictate anything a long fucking time ago!”

“Really?” Jensen crossed his arms, looking at her with a smirk. He knows arguments with his wife very well, and he remembers how loud she can be. He’s also secretly enjoying getting under her skin.

“Yeah, motherfucker, really! Try and stop me!” She said, storming back off to the restaurant.

“Bianca! We’re not done!” He screamed at her backside.

She didn’t even turn around, she just flipped him off.

Frustrated to high heaven, Jensen kicked the tire and started taking deep breaths. Sam had watched everything, choosing wisely not to intervene. “Dean, calm down.” He said calmly.

“Calm down! I can’t fucking calm down, Sam! She’s trying to offer herself up like a big juicy steak and you didn’t say a damn thing about it!” Jensen screamed at him.

“I never said I agreed with it! Alright! I just know her, and if she says she’s gonna do something we can’t stop her. She’s got a stubborn streak a mile long! You know that better than I do!” Sam yelled back.

“Son-of-a-BITCH!” He screamed one final time, leaning on the hood of the car with his head hung low to calm himself.

Sam leans against the car, waiting for Jensen to regain his composure. “Besides,” He says finally, “We probably could’ve convinced her it was a bad idea. But you had to go all caveman on her. You made her hood side come out, this is on you.” Sam says with a satisfied smirk. But after seeing the death glare Jensen shoots his way, he again chooses wisely and keeps quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well whaddaya think? Kudos and comments are love! :o)


	4. Bianca - Trouble Walked In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bianca finds trouble...or like everything else in her life, trouble finds her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, it's a day late. 
> 
> Better late than never!  
> (But never late is better.)  
> [Dammit Drake, shut up.]

**Chapter Four: Bianca – Trouble Walked In**

A few nights later at work, Bianca was hitting all her tables and waiting for her last few customers to leave so she could finish up and go home. Michelle, her coworker, danced past her carrying two trays of breakfast slammers. She walked back in the kitchen to count her tips, and the head cook spoke to her. “Almost outta here?” He said with a smile. “Yeah,” she answered with a sigh, her feet were killing her. “But don’t worry Ham, I’ll dream of you when I go to sleep tonight.” She said with a smile. “You better,” he answered, smiling back. Hamilton had been here for years, and was the sweetest old man she’d ever known. He always harmlessly flirted, and she was happy to indulge him.

They both looked up when they heard the bell at the door ring and a guy walked in.

Michelle had made it back by then, and was checking her phone. “Aw shit, the kids let the dog get out again. My husband is blowing up my phone. Bianca, can you cover for me?” She begged.

Bianca, fully ready to say no, held up her tips as if to gesture she was about to walk out the door soon. “I know, I know,” Michelle continued to beg, “It’ll only be for 10 minutes. Tops! I promise. Please.”

Bianca took a deep breath, and prayed for strength. “You owe me a peach cobbler.”

Michelle beamed at her. “Done!”

“On my next shift! No dragging your feet, I want it on my desk by Monday.” Bianca threatened.

“You got it boss!” Michelle answered, playing along. As she walked out the back door, Bianca made her way to the front of the restaurant to greet the customer who’d just walked in. He was seated in Michelle’s section and had his face buried in the menu. “Welcome to Ms. Tina’s! I’m Bianca, I’ll be serving you today. Can I get you a cup of coffee to start?”

He placed the menu down on the table in front of him and her heart stopped. He was gorgeous. His dark hair was long and in his face, but he made the bad boy look work. His eyes were a startling shade of blue that seemed to pierce right through her, and his dimpled chin was so kissable. If she had to bet money, she was sure he bought his Henley shirt a couple sizes too small to show off his muscles. She couldn’t help but notice a couple tattoos peeking out from under his sleeves.

“Bianca…that’s a beautiful name.” He said smoothly, and his voice sounded like sex covered chocolate.

She tried in vain to hide her blush. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. My ma always said I should complement a pretty lady when she deserves it. With a girl like you, I don’t think I’d ever shut up.” He gave her a panty dropping half smile, and she all but melted in front of him.

“Your accent is a little different…you’re not from around here, are you?” She asked, mentally patting herself on the back for being able to form words.

He chuckled, and it sounded like music to her. “Guilty as charged, sweetheart. Name’s James. Born and raised in Brooklyn.” He said, offering her a handshake.

“Well James from Brooklyn, you’re a long way from home. What brings you to Texas?” She smiled as she shook his hand, wondering what the hell had gotten into her.

“I’m here for a friend’s wedding. If you can keep a secret, I’m not too keen on going to be honest. Nothing’s sadder than the lonely chump sittin’ by himself because he was too stupid not to bring a date.”

His voice drove her crazy, she felt like she could listen to him talk all day. “Well your secret’s safe with me. I’m sure it’ll be fine. The lonely guy always has a chance with the single bridesmaids.” They both laughed, and he looked at her like he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She hadn’t realized how much she missed the feeling. They both kept staring at each other with goofy smiles on their faces until she finally snapped out of it.

“I’m sorry,” She laughed, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to just stare at you like a weird ass.” She covered her eyes, laughing and to her surprise he was laughing too. “It’s okay, no need to apologize. I’m pretty sure I was the one staring back.” He gave her that sexy half smirk again, while rubbing her hand. She was speechless, and looked at him like she couldn’t believe he was real. “I’m…gonna go…grab you a coffee and give you a minute to look at the menu.” She said finally, proud she was able to form words again.

“Only if you promise to hurry back, and have a cup of coffee with me.” His smile was magic, and she couldn’t help when her eyes fell to his full lips when he licked them.

“I’m working.” She said, with a disbelieving laugh.

He shrugged, and ran a hand through his hair. God, she wanted to run her fingers through that hair. “I got nowhere to be.” He smirked, his accent spilling out.

She looked back at the kitchen, and saw Michelle finally made it back in. She bit her bottom lip in thought, and turned back to him. “Careful doll, you bite that lip any harder, it’ll bleed.” She couldn’t help but blush even harder, laughing at her nerves. She made her decision. “Give me five minutes.”

And if she put a little extra switch in her step when she walked away because she knew he was watching, no one could blame her.

She made it back to the kitchen to finish up, and just liked she figured they were already gossiping about her.

“Girl, who is the tall, dark, and brooding hunk of man you were just drooling all over?” Michelle asked, not even having the decency to stop staring at the man as she spoke. Bianca rolled her eyes and tried to play it cool. “His name is James, and he’s in town for a wedding.”

“You learned all that in the five minutes you were talking to him? He _definitely_ wants the cookie.” She added and Bianca swatted at her to shut her up, but she ignored it. “I mean, seriously, he has trouble written all over him.” Michelle shook her head with a smile.

Bianca couldn’t hold back her smile any longer. “Yeah, and trouble is definitely my type.” She looked back at him and he caught her eye. He gave her a small wave, and she waved back.

Michelle just laughed. “I want all the dirty details. I mean it, if he has a birthmark on his ass, I better hear about it.” Michelle finally grabbed her tray to walk away.

“You’re married.” Bianca called after her.

“Married, not dead!” Michelle sang as she walked away.

While she was clocking off, Bianca couldn’t help the heat that was pooling in her system. James was everything she was attracted to, because she was never one to go after the good guys. His eyes froze her on the spot, and that smile of his…it made her heart race. She was just about to grab them two cups of coffee when alarm bells and red flags started going off in her head.

“Aw shit!” She froze and hung her head and how stupid she was being not to have seen it. She leaned against the counter, softly kicking it over and over. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” She said quietly to herself. Why couldn’t she just have a guy like her who wasn’t an asshole or a monster.

She pulled out her new phone and called Sam. “Bianca, what’s up?” She could hear Dean stop talking in the background, and was grateful they were still together.

She sighed, and prayed again for strength. “I think I just found our evil friend.”

“Hold on a sec, lemme put you on speaker.” She heard him fumbling for a few seconds. “Okay. Are you sure it’s the siren?” He asked.

“Pretty damn sure.” She said, defeated. She looked back over at James and he was smiling at her. She smiled back as she spoke on the phone and gestured ‘one minute’ at him. “He’s taller than me, his voice has more gravel than a dirt road, and his smile make me want to drop my panties. He’s the siren.”

Sam chanced a look over at his brother to see him looking unhappy. “Okay, well just keep him distracted. Hang tight, we’ll be there in a few.” Sam said, willing his brother to stay quiet.

“Cool. But you better hurry because I’m about 10 minutes from fucking his brains out.” She shook her head.

“Bianca, please, that’s an overshare—” Sam started, at the same time Jensen yelled “Oh, come on!”

“Seriously. The look he’s giving me, this is not a drill. I’m about to suck his brains out through his dick. Think it’s a game!” She kept going.

“Enough!” She heard Dean yell, and couldn’t help the little piece of satisfaction she felt for pissing him off.

“We’re coming in. Stick to the plan.” Sam ended the call, clearly annoyed.

“I mean, really? Through his dick!” Jensen continued yelling.

Sam shrugged. “She’s a grown woman Dean. We all know Bianca has no filter.” He said as he loaded his gun.

“He better not touch her.” Jensen said, flooring the gas as he sped back to the diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *DJ Khaled voice*  
> ANOTHER ONE!!!
> 
> How'd you like that cameo? Can anyone peep who James is? Points if you can lol!


	5. Dean - Show Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Fluff, and smut dead ahead.  
> Change course or sail true, the choice be up to you. :)

**Chapter Five: Dean – Show Me**

Dean was enjoying his third beer, a half-eaten burger resting on the table beside him forgotten as Dallas giggled in his lap playing with his wedding ring. He put the beer down to bounce her, making her clap and laugh in excitement. His face hurt from smiling all day, but he didn’t care. He could feel three sets of eyes burning into him so he looked around the table.

“What?” He asked, with a cheesy smile on his face. Jared just smirked and took another sip of his wine. “Nothing man, nothing.”

Gen looked down to pretend she was playing on her phone. “I didn’t say anything, not a word.” She looked over at Tom and Shep, playing in the yard away from the barbeque pit and the pool. They were all seated near the fire pit, built into the large deck of the Padalecki home.

Bianca was just smiling at him, her eyes making him feel warm inside. He loved that he can make her smile like that again.

“It’s just…you seem really happy. Happier than normal lately.” Jared smiled.

“Of course I’m happy,” Dean answered, kissing Dallas’ hair and smelling her scent. “My two favorite girls are here. Life couldn’t get any better.”

“Glad to hear it. To family, man.” Jared lifted his glass, and everyone leaned in to toast with him.

Dallas took that moment to announce to the world she was sleepy. She started fussing and Bianca stood up. As soon as she was close, Dallas leaned into her arms. “Well I guess that’s our cue to get this little princess in her bed.” She laughed, trying to sooth the baby.

Dean stood up, taking the last few sips of his beer and grabbing his keys. “She’s probably right.” He stretched and gave Gen a hug. “We love having you guys over, we should do this next weekend.” Gen said, giving Bianca a hug goodbye. “Shouldn’t be a problem, I don’t have to fly to L.A. until that Monday.” Bianca said with a smile. She turned to give Jared a hug, who lifted her off the ground.

“All I know is we definitely better see you and Little Dee before you fly back to Texas, B.” Jared smiled.

“Oh, Jensen didn’t tell you? We’re not flying back, we’re gonna be moving back up here.” Bianca was practically bouncing with excitement.

“Really?” Jared asked, trying to mask his shock. His eyes darted to Dean, who didn’t catch the hint.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be so nice not to have to fly back and forth.” She continued.

“And I can’t wait.” Dean said, wrapping an arm around his wife’s waist. “We’ll see you guys next weekend.”

“Sounds good. Don’t forget to give me a call, Jensen.” Jared said, his face still masking his confusion.

“That was so much fun! Did you have fun, munchkin?” Bianca smiled, bouncing the baby on her hip.

“Oh, I know she had fun. She got half her dinner on my shirt.” Dean laughed. “And she’s gonna have even more fun when she starts dreaming tonight. That’s right, you’re sleeping in your own bed tonight because mommy and daddy have plans!” He said, waving her arm with a smile.

“Jay!” Bianca said, scandalized. “What?” He asked innocently. “She has no idea what I’m talking about, besides she’s gonna be dreaming of Doc McStuffins.” He said with a half smirk, and she hip checked him before speeding towards their SUV.

They arrived back at their home, and as predicted Dallas fell asleep in her car seat. But as soon as the car shut off, she woke up and she was not in a good mood. Bianca sighed and grabbed her car seat, walking up the long walkway to their front door while Dean grabbed the baby bag and her purse. He paused for a moment to take in the sight before him, his wife walking up to the big beautiful home they both shared. In a private, gated community no less. It was necessary, after realizing just how many paparazzi followed his wife’s every move. It unnerved him, but he was grateful for the little bubble they could share inside those four walls.

 He locked the front door behind him and walked up the stairs, stopping at the second door on the right. He slowly looked in to see his wife leaning over the pink crib, gently laying their daughter down. Somehow, she had already changed her diaper and put Dallas into her onesie in that short amount of time. It amazed him how quick she was.

And the sight before him gave him pause yet again. So many times, today he’d forced himself to stop and appreciate the life happening around him. Dean was a lot of things, but hopeful wasn’t often one of them. Yet today, waking up in this alternate reality with the love of his life and the family of his dreams, he’d began to hope he might not ever have to leave.

Still unaware of his presence, Bianca began to sing Dallas to sleep.

 _“_ _Stars shining bright above you_  
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"  
Birds singing in the sycamore trees  
Dream a little dream of me”

Dallas’ eyes had already started to droop, her face settling into a calm cuteness that made Dean fight the urge to say aww.

“ _Say nighty-night and kiss me_  
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me  
While I'm alone and blue as can be  
Dream a little dream of me”

Bianca finished softly, waiting quietly to make sure Dallas was out for good. She silently checked to make sure the baby monitor was working, and turned to leave the room. When she did, her brown eyes were met with the green ones she loved so much. He was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed with that sexy half smirk of his.

She smirked back at him, knowing exactly what his dirty mind was up to. She walked past him, not giving him a second glance. Dean reached in, grabbing the doorknob. “Night baby girl.” He whispered, slowly closing the door without making noise. He followed his wife’s footsteps to their bedroom, and boy does he love the sound of that. _Their_ bedroom.

She’d walked straight into their walk-in closet, hanging up her jacket. Dean sat down on the bed, plugging up his phone for the night on the nightstand. He stared unbuttoning his shirt and just happened to look over his shoulder. What he saw got his full attention, and he turned around on the bed.

Bianca was undressing, having rid herself of the tight skinny jeans and goonies t-shirt she informed him he bought her last Christmas, and was down to her bra and panties. Black lacey things, simple and not showy, yet still incredibly sexy. She noticed him staring at her and froze.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” She smiled.

“Is that permission?” He played along.

“I’m sorry Mr. Ackles, are you propositioning me?” She asked sexily, slowly stalking towards him.

“Only if you’re open to the proposition, Mrs. Ackles.” He replied, his eyes darkening with lust.

She reached their California King bed, and slowly started to crawl towards him. “And if I _was_ open…” She’d crawled up between his parted legs, and now she was undoing the rest of his buttons as she hovered above him. “What would you do to me?”

That was all the permission Dean needed. Immediately, his hands flew to grip her round thighs.

“First, I would kiss you so hard you couldn’t think straight.” He said, licking the skin on her neck while pulling her in closer. “Then, I would taste you because nothing else in the world taste like you.” He was nibbling his way down her chest, focusing on the swells of her breasts spilling from the top of the cups of her bra. “And finally, I would make you scream my full name so loud the neighbors are gonna know my middle name is Ross.” She giggled above him, making him grip her ample ass like he was holding on for dear life.

Finally, their lips met, his tongue begging her mouth for entry and she obliged. She carded her hands through his hair as his hands explored her curves. She paused when she felt him unhook her bra.

“Wait baby…” She said softly.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked confused, still nibbling on her neck.

“I need you to be sure.”

He rocked her hips into his, making her heated center brush against his erection. “I think you can feel how sure I am.” He smirked into her skin.

“No, I need you to be really sure.” She said, pushing away from him a bit. Those words stopped him cold. He came to his senses, sensing her very real hesitation. “Sure about what?” He asked, bringing a hand up to rest on her cheek. She looked so beautiful like this…her curls wild, and her skin illuminated by the moonlight shining through their glass double doors and windows.

“I just…” She hesitated, trying to find the words. “I don’t want to upset you, or kill the mood, but you’ve been really distant lately. Ever since Dallas’ first birthday you and I…we haven’t been _us_. You’ve been pushing us away, I know you have, and I just need to know that if we do this…you’re not gonna shut me out again. Because I don’t think I could take it a second time.” She sounded so vulnerable, her voice so small.

Dean felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He had no idea what this Jensen guy had been up to, but it made him want to punch him in the face for making Bianca feel this way. “Baby, listen to me.” He said, gently grabbing her face with both hands. She brought one of hers up to rest on his, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. “Look at me.” He begged, and when she did he knew without a doubt he meant everything he was about to say. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise. And I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way for so long…so damn sorry. But I love you. I’m in love you, so much it scares me. And I promise, from here on out we’re a team again. I’m not going to push you away. I need you, B.” He fought the tears threatening to cloud his vision, wondering how many times he imagined being able to say that to the very face he was looking at. So many times, he’d dreamed of a second chance to talk to her, to apologize and make things right, to hold her in his arms again and he’d finally been given a chance. If only she was his version of her.

While he’d been able to fight his own tears, she wasn’t so successful. Her eyes watered as his words washed over her, the conviction in his eyes and his voice warming her soul. “Show me.” Was all she could say, unable to speak further without her voice cracking.

Dean took on the mission with fervor, and all the unspoken demands along with it. ‘ _Show me how much you love me. Show me how much you need me. Show me how much you missed me. Show me I’m not crazy for loving you. Show me you won’t break my heart again. Show me you won’t leave me. Show me you’re not going to push me away. Show me you crave my body just as much as I crave yours. Show me you still think I’m beautiful, that you still care. Show me that you’re still **in love** with me.’ _ She said all those things, in just two words. And Dean read her loud and clear.

When he leaned forward to kiss her, he tried to convey every single emotion he felt for her with his action. He gripped her close, so tight it seemed he was trying to make them one, with his big arms wrapped around her body. It had been so long since he could hold her this way, a chance to repent for all the sins he’d committed against her, and he was damn sure going to take it.

Dean was a smart man, smarter than most people gave him credit for and he could see this opportunity for exactly what it was. He may never get a chance to prove how sorry he was to _his_ Bianca, but he was certainly going to show _this_ Bianca how much he needed her. How much he craved her. How much he missed her being in his life.

He gently laid her back, resting her against the pillows. A whine escaped her when his lips left hers, on a quest to explore every inch of her body. He kissed the spot below her ear, something he remembered that drove his Bianca nuts. The response was the same, and the noise she made for him will forever be recorded in his memory. He kissed her neck, her collar bone, her shoulder, and began his work on her chest with enthusiasm. He reached up to slip the cups of her bra down, propping up her swollen breasts like a present made just for him.

He lavished her chocolate nipples with his tongue, showing them both equal attention with the help of his hands. The sounds she made pierced straight through him, going straight down to his near painful erection.

“You’re so beautiful…” He whispered, his lips brushing against her skin. “Every inch of you…every part of who you are is absolutely amazing. I’m so crazy about you.” His hands swam in the waves of her curves, all the way down to her full hips. He gripped them tight, feeling his dick twitch at the mere sight of her classic coke bottle shape. Dean never understood why some men preferred skinny women with no curves, it had always astounded him. Thick women were everything. Even the girls he watched on Busty Asian Beauties had some weight on them, he definitely had a type.

But he wouldn’t dare think about those girls now, he had a real-life goddess laying before him. He showered her stomach with sweet butterfly kisses, a gentle side being shown that most weren’t aware he possessed. When he reached her navel however, the kisses became less innocent. His tongue wrote hidden messages in the skin leading down to her underwear, messages only he was privy to. Hooking his fingers in the tops of her panties, he slid them off her hips down her round thighs to her ankles. Placing a soft kiss there, he finally freed her of them. Casting the garment away far behind him, he silently appraised the work of art before him.

“I should’ve taken you up on that offer for a picture…” He said quietly to himself but she heard him.

She giggled, but he could pick up on the insecurity in it. When he met her eyes, he saw the self-consciousness taking over her demeanor. His wife, his Bianca, one of the most fiercest and most confident women to ever grace the stage was laying in front of him. He’d watched some of her music videos and live performances on the computer, and when she performed she just oozed sexuality and fearlessness. In front of millions, and he means _millions_ , of people worldwide. Yet here she was, being seen by no other eyes but his own, feeling self-conscious. He couldn’t believe it. Didn’t she _know_? _How_ did she not know? Wasn’t she aware that she was literally the sexiest woman alive? That she was the sexiest woman who ever lived to _him_?

And she looked so unbelievably attractive right now. Her curly wild hair was a halo around her on the pillow, and the light sheen of sweat on her skin made her glow like an honest to god angel in the moonlight shining into their bedroom. He was in awe, and he knew if he could see his reflection there would be no green left in his eyes, only dark pupils blown wide with insatiable lust.

But his stunned silence did him no favors, as she slowly took his speechlessness for disapproval. Her face began to crumble with embarrassment, her hands immediately flying to the new stretchmarks she’d gained during pregnancy and her legs snapping shut.

Before thigh could meet thigh, Dean’s hands shot forward to stop them. His thumbs caressed the insides of her knees as he looked her in the eye. “Please don’t hide…not from me.”

Slowly, never breaking eye contact with her, he spread her legs open again. He leaned over to her left leg, still not breaking eye contact, and began to kiss the top of her thigh. He moved inward, kissing the inside and rubbing his stubble against it. The doubt left her eyes as the beautiful brown he fell in love with gave way to full blown pupils darkened with heat. He fucking loved when she watched him.

He kissed lower and lower inside her thigh, once the right one was closer he gave it attention. Soon, he was eye level with her center, and he couldn’t look away from her. “So fucking beautiful…” He said, diving in for the first of many tastes.

He licked a long stripe from the bottom of her center nearly to the top, careful to avoid putting his tongue where he knew she wanted him most. He licked his lips, savoring the taste of her. She whimpered at his ministrations, already tensed. “You are the best damn thing I’ve ever tasted, B.” He said, his breath washing over her heated core making her lift her hips.

“Please Jay,” She whispered, her hands gripping the sheets like she was holding on for dear life.

He nosed at her nub, making her grind in an effort to create more friction where she needed it most. “Not until you open your eyes.” He said against her.

Like a soldier given a command she complied, her eyes seeking him out and drowning in the picture before her. He waited a few seconds, building up the suspense. She met his challenge, not blinking once.

He leaned forward the inch needed to close the distance between them, and gave an experimental kiss to her clit. She moaned, feeling a shock travel her body. Once he was sure he had her full attention, he began to kiss and lick at her, sensually setting every nerve in her body on fire. She moaned for him, making music that only he was blessed enough to hear. And he was so grateful. He moved lower to delve inside her folds, licking away at her walls to get every bit of her taste. This made her cry out the loudest yet, and as he swallowed her juices he was unable to maintain eye contact any longer. His eyes rolled up into his head, shutting at the overload on his senses. The taste of her, the smell of her, the sound of her, the feeling of her thighs gripping his head. _Jesus, I’m not even inside her yet._ His thoughts were becoming more and more fragmented. His own rough hand reached down to his cock below him, gripping the base in a tight squeeze as his rolled his hips against the bed for some kind of friction.

Her pleas were needy, her hands searching for his head and gripping his short hair. He moaned into her when she raised her hips to chase the feeling of his tongue inside her.

“Jesus, I’m so sorry!” She immediately apologized, removing her hands in a flash and steeling the movement of her hips. He looked back up at her again, her glistening juices evident on his chin. With that devilish smirk painted on his lips he grabbed both her hands, placing them firmly back in his hair. “You never have to say sorry.” His deep voice had more gravel than a dirt road. She was stunned, however her shock didn’t last long.

When he dove back in, she knew he was on a mission to make her unravel. He sucked at her clit feverishly, slowly sliding one of his calloused fingers inside her. His moans vibrated against her, somehow vibrating inside her. She bit her bottom lip as she pulled his hair, feeling it was all too much yet not enough at the same time. She needed more, and she didn’t even have to voice it.

He slid another finger in to join the first, the digit finding passage into her channel with ease because of how wet she was. He pumped them inside of her, curling them here and there, finding that sweet spot inside of her that was known to him alone. Passing along it with every thrust, her breathing picked up even more as her legs started to tremble.

“Baby…I’m getting…I think I’m gonna—” She was unable to form full sentences.

“Look at me.” He commanded again, and like before, she did what he asked without hesitation.

The moment she gazed at him, she fell from the edge of the cliff. The tingling started at the base of her spine, traveling all over her being making her toes curl. Her round thighs gripped him as her orgasm washed over her, her moaning filling the room. He watched as her chest lifted off the bed in pleasure, putting gorgeous boobs up in the air on display. Her body shook as his fingers continued to plow into her, fucking her through her orgasm.

When it seemed like the sensitivity was too much for her, he slowly removed them chuckling when she whimpered from the loss. He pressed a soft kiss to her clit, making her jump again. He made sure to wait until her eyes were watching him, and sucked his fingers clean. Wiping his face on his arm, he crawled on top of her.

Before he could even react, she was pulling him down for one of the most passionate kisses they’d ever shared. Her tongue dominated his as she sought out the taste of herself in his mouth. When they broke apart to breathe, she placed small kisses on his chin along his jaw making him smile with pride. “Baby,” She huffed, still trying to catch her breath. “I think you broke me.” She smiled dreamily.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” He answered cockily.

“I mean it, I think I just died.” She wiped the sweat away from her forehead, pushing her curls away from her face. He reached down between them to grip himself, lining up with her entrance.

He slid in to the hilt, not even giving her a moment to brace herself. She moaned happily at the invasion, feeling whole for the first time in so long. “Welcome back to the land of the living.” He smirked cheekily, eyes shutting at the sensation of being surrounded by her warmth again. His entire body shuddered. He can’t describe the feeling that overtook him, being able to share this level of intimacy with her again was something he never thought possible.

She giggled and kissed him again. That was one of the many reasons he loved her. She laughed at his one-liners, fully aware of just how cheesy his jokes were. He loved that they could still be playful, even during sex. The connection between them was unreal, it was a chemistry he’d never experienced with anyone else.

He ascended to heaven when he felt her legs wrap tighter around him, pulling him in. He lost himself in her, they lost themselves in each other, and drifted to sleep in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like I owed a double-hitter since I was late posting. Enjoy!


	6. Bianca - I KNEW You Were Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to lay the trap, and Bianca's the bait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I wasn't sure I'd be able to post tomorrow, so I thought I'd do it tonight.
> 
> I also thought I should clear some things up in case it's confusing:
> 
> When the other characters interact with him, he's Dean. But otherwise, he actually still is Jensen.  
> When the other characters interact with him, he's Jensen. But otherwise, he actually still is Dean. 
> 
> So all their personal thoughts and introspection will reflect as such.
> 
> I hope that isn't too confusing. Also Bianca's name is Bianca in both worlds...her last name just changes. Maybe that...MEANS SOMETHING!?! Could it have possible implications later?!?!? We'll find out!!!
> 
> Hope you guys are liking this...I'm up to chapter 16! Nowhere to go but forward, people! :)

**Chapter Six: Bianca – I KNEW You Were Trouble**

Bianca hung up the phone, and while her sex drive was screaming at her to go freshen up in the bathroom and touch up her appearance, she resisted. “He’s a monster, not a Hemsworth! Get it together, girl!” She mentally chastised herself, and made her way back over to the table. She sat down across from him in the booth, placing both their cups of coffee in front of them.

“I know you probably won’t believe me and think I’m full of shit, but I swear it felt like you were away forever and my heart was breaking.” James smirked at her, cupping the warm mug with both hands.

She gave him a look. “You’re right, I do think you’re full of shit. You always lay it on this thick?” She smiled.

He playfully grabbed his chest. “You hurt me, beautiful. I was being honest.” He chuckled.

“Next, you’ll try to convince me you’re a real boy, Pinocchio.” She took a sip of her coffee with a knowing smile.

“Alright you caught me, but can you blame me? A fella has to turn up the charm if he wants a chance to win over a lady like you.” He took a sip of his own coffee, his eyes never leaving her face. She felt her cheeks warming of their own volition. Who even speaks like that anymore? It was so adorably sexy. _Ugh, get it together, damn it! Don’t lose focus!_

“Well in the spirit of honesty I have a confession to make. I know you shouldn’t make up your mind about people before you meet them, but when I saw you, I totally did.”

“Really? And what’s the verdict?” He reached across the table, rubbing her hand. Her eyes dropped to where their hands met, her heartbeat picking up just a little.

“Well my first thought was…you took my breath away the moment I saw you.”

He smiled, so big she could see every one of his white teeth. “The feeling was more than mutual, I promise you. I thought I was dreamin’ when I saw that smile of yours. And that blush…” He reached forward, brushing a hand lightly on her cheek.

“You move pretty fast, James.” She giggled.

“You think this is fast? I’m already picturing what our kids will look like.” She outright laughed, loving his corny sense of humor.

“But that’s the thing…” She sighed.

He licked his lips, his eyes staring through her and she had trouble looking away from those pretty pink pillows.

“I only react like that for a certain type of guy, so that let me know everything I needed to know right then. I knew you were trouble when you walked in. And trouble and me? We don’t have a good history.”

“You telling me you got a thing for trouble makers?” He bit his bottom lip, sensually playing with her hand across the table.

“Trouble usually has a thing for me. It always seems to find me. And it has a way of making me fall in love.” She replied honestly looking in his eyes.

He returned her gaze earnestly. “Bianca, those saps didn’t know a good thing. But if a guy like me had a girl like you, the only trouble I’d be making would be the kind you beg me for.”

The lust in his eyes shot straight to her core. She felt her arousal hit her like a freight train.

“Can I take you out for drinks? I know you just got off, but I’d like to get to know the girl of my dreams better.” He bit his bottom lip with a smirk, and she giggled like a schoolgirl again.

She glanced out the window, seeing a black impala parked all the way across the parking lot in the shadows.

“Only if you let me buy the first round.” She bit her lip seductively.

“By all means, lead the way.”

She stood up to leave, and he waited for her to stand before he did. She fought back the urge to sigh. He was a gentleman too? Jesus, this guy was her fantasy. Sexy, funny, and the perfect balance of cocky and well mannered. If he wasn’t a monster, she definitely would’ve pounced on him like a cat on a mouse.

 _Why_ was this her life?

She took his hand after he held the door for her, and they walked out of the diner together to the parking lot. As they strolled, he sweetly rubbed his thumb along her knuckles.

“So what joint do you cut loose at around here?” He asked jovially, swinging their hands back and forth making her laugh. “I think I have the perfect place in mind, you can just trail me over there.” She played along.

They arrived at their cars, way in the back of the public parking, and when she let his hand go she could feel his eyes burning holes in her ass as she walked in front of him. As they got closer, she noticed the make and model of his car and her knees almost buckled. Dear lord, if ever there was a list of top 10 sexiest cars, this one would be number two. A 1971 Shelby Mustang GT500, obviously well-loved judging by her excellent condition, smoke grey with black racing stripes. Parked directly under one of the only streetlights in the parking lot, illuminating her as if she was some prop car from a movie. Was this a movie? She was dreaming. Her reaction must have been noticeable.

“I take it you’re a fan?” He asked cheekily. “A fan?” She asked, wiping her chin to check for drool. “I’m wondering if it’s actually physically possible to have sex with a car…”

He laughed heartily, resting a hand on the small of her back as they walked. “Now I’ll be honest with you. I don’t have many loves in my life, but I got my priorities straight. And Ellie here…she’ll always be my number one girl.”

“Your mother must’ve taken the news pretty hard.” Bianca smirked, and he shrugged. “There were a few tears, but she took it like a champ.” He gave her that damn smile again, and squeezed her hip. Out here, in the moonlight, his beauty seemed otherworldly. With a start, she remembered foolishly that it was. That was he was her reason for being here.

She discreetly kept watch of the black Impala parked a little ways away from them.

“It’s a shame you’re only in town until the wedding…” She leaned back against the car, and ran her hand through her tight curls seductively.

He stepped forward into her space, so close his breath fanned over her face. “I might be persuaded to stick around.” He licked his lips seductively again, and her eyes watched his tongue wet them slowly like she was being hypnotized.

He ran his hands slowly up her arms, until one hand trailed its way up to her cheek. His thumb swiped over her lips, and she melted into his tall frame when she felt his solid warm body against hers. Lord, she could feel his abs through his shirt. How was that even possible?

Slowly, he leaned forward to close the distance between their lips and her eyes fluttered closed.

Her heart jumped out of her chest when she heard the loud thud in front of her, completely waking her from the spell she was under.

She blinked a few times as James crumbled to the ground in front of her, Dean standing behind him with his gun in his hand. She looked down at James, unconscious from being hit with the butt of Dean’s gun.

“Bianca what the hell were you doing! Why the hell were you trying to kiss him?” Jensen yelled at her.

She rolled her eyes, all her rage and attitude back in full effect. “Dean, I’m not fucking stupid! I know they’re venomous, I wasn’t going to kiss him!” She bit back at him.

“It sure as shit looked like you were gonna kiss him!” He yelled back at her, stepping over James to get in her face.

“I can take care of myself, Dean! If I didn’t think I could handle it, I wouldn’t have volunteered to help catch the son of a bitch!”

“Oh, is that what that was? Is that what you were doing? Because from where I was standing, if we’d showed up a couple seconds later you would’ve been on your knees begging him for it! Or bent over the hood taking it from behind! Tell me, what was it about him that pulled you in, Bianca? Huh? The fact that he looked completely opposite, but was _EXACTLY_ like me? Or was it the car? You always were a slut for a classic.” He screamed.

Bianca punched Jensen, so hard he stumbled backward and almost tripped over James on the ground. He touched his jaw where it throbbed and glared at her furiously, but her chest was heaving with the anger boiling in her blood.

 “You are the biggest, rudest, most ridiculous and arrogant fucking asshole on the planet! I swear to god! You got a lot of nerve saying that shit! The balls on you, Dean, I mean seriously! You show up in my life after two fucking years of ghosting me and you honestly think you have a say about what goes on in my life? That you can talk about me any kind of way? _DON’T_ try to make me out to be like the bar trash you usually fuck with, because that’s not who I am and you know it. I ain’t the one. I don’t know who the hell you think you’re dealing with, but you’ve got the wrong one. You can act brand new all you fucking want, but I’m warning you. Disrespect me one more fuckin’ time and I will END you.” She threatened him, and shoved past him walking to the Impala.

Sam, who’d been quietly the entire time, finished tying up the Siren. He stood up, no longer able to stay silent as he marched over to Jensen, before shoving him hard. “Dean, what the hell was that?” He screamed at him, and Jensen shoved him back. He wiped the corner of his mouth, tasting a little blood. Bianca still had a hell of a right hook.

“Leave it alone, Sammy.” He barked out, holding his face. “No, I’m not going to leave it alone Dean! I’m sick of leaving this shit alone! That girl agreed to help us even though you’ve done nothing but show your ass since we got here! She put her own life in danger to help us take that asshole down, and for what? For you to call her a slut?” Sam yelled.

“That’s enough, Sam!” Dean yelled back, headed for the Impala. “No, I’m not done yet! Damn it, Dean!” He grabbed Jensen roughly by the shoulder, forcing him to turn around and face him. “You treated Bianca like shit! You fucking broke her! I may not know what the hell happened between you two but I know that you left her in fucking pieces when you broke her heart! She was the best thing that ever happened to you Dean, what the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck were you thinking just now?”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!” Jensen screamed back. “What do you want from me, huh? You wanna hear me say that I fucked up, because I did! Big time! I lost the one goddamn thing in my life that made any of this shit bearable because I pushed her away! I took her for granted, alright! Is that what you wanna hear?” Jensen screamed back into Sam’s face. The tears he refused to let fall stung his eyes as he realized how much of the truth about his own life he was screaming at the top of his lungs.

“I want you to man the fuck up Dean! _FIX IT_! Fix your own goddamn mistake, for once in your life! You fucked up, fine, but you’re not making it better by treating her like horse shit on the bottom of your goddamned boot!” Sam yelled, and his resonated through Jensen like a bell deep inside him had been rung.

Sam stalked off to the car fuming, leaving Jensen alone with his thoughts. It hurt, it hurt like a motherfucker, but his father’s words ‘ _the fall from the pedestal your pride puts you up on is always a long one’_ rings through his mind. His parents would be ashamed of the way he’d been treating Bianca. What had he done? What had he been thinking? All at once, the memories of what happened between Dean and Bianca on the show came rushing back to him.

The baby. All those months ago, when he had shut her out instead of embracing her through what was such a dark period in both of their lives. But he was so lost, so consumed with guilt and self-pity. He recalled his character blaming himself, because how could it not have been Dean’s fault? As soon as he’d let himself start to hope, it was snatched away from him. Just like everything else he cared about in his life.

The mysterious emptiness inside him that he’d been feeling was Dean’s loss. Not just Bianca, but for the baby that never got a chance. For Jensen’s own baby, Dallas, who he couldn’t stop thinking about and missed with every fiber of his being. This separation was so different from before, when he could just video call and see her chubby face. God, he wished he could hold his little girl again. He’d been so stupid to insist that his Bianca stay home in Texas with the baby. Who knows if he’ll ever see his daughter again?

The bright lights of the Impala brought Jensen out of his thoughts as Sam pulled the car around. Silently they lifted the unconscious body of James and put him in the trunk, Sam still too furious to even look at his older brother. No words were spoken as they climbed into the car, Jensen pulling off the parking lot onto the dark road that led out of town. Sam seethed quietly in the passenger seat as Jensen stubbornly stared forward out at the road. He discreetly checked the rearview mirror to see Bianca’s outline in the darkness of the backseat. Her face was faintly illuminated by the full moon, but he couldn’t make out her facial expression. He didn’t have to though. Even with all they’d been through, with how badly he’d treated her and taken her for granted, his heart still knew when the love of his life was crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos are like Oreos, but Comments are like Oreo Cheesecake! ;P
> 
> Again I ask, can anyone peep who James is? :)
> 
> (And also, if you're really good, his car lol)


	7. Dean - Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean not only learns the truth, but decides to selfishly keep it.

**Chapter Seven: Dean – Selfish**

Monday morning Dean woke up at 3 am, groggy and wondering who in the hell in their right mind would be up this early. He sat up on the edge on the bed, rubbing his eyes. He looked over his shoulder at his wife, still sleeping. She was pretty much sprawled over the entire bed, taking up most of his pillows and hers, with almost all the blankets on her and her arm resting where he’d just been. She looked peaceful, snoring just a bit. Dean snorted. She was such a heavy sleeper. If her fans only knew she turned into a cuddling snoring octopus at night, he thought to himself and smiled. He loved her though. And felt a small sense of pride at how much he’d worn her out the night before.

He unplugged his cellphone, powering it up since he’d turn it off the night before as he walked to their shared bathroom. Shutting the door, he found he had a text message. It was a number he didn’t recognize and wasn’t saved in his contacts, but that didn’t mean much considering it wasn’t really his phone. The text was sent at 12:30 am, along with a selfie of a girl in her underwear.

_Can’t wait for tomorrow. I miss you. XOXO_

Dean was too drowsy to be confused this early in the morning. The girl was smart enough not to include her face in the picture, but he still couldn’t help but wonder what the hell Jensen Ackles had been up to.

He heard the door behind him open and he panicked. He quickly deleted the text and picked up his toothbrush.  Bianca shuffled in like the walking dead with her eyes barely open wearing her Supernatural robe, designed to look like Castiel’s trench coat. Secretly Dean tried hard not to feel some kind of way about her obvious obsession with Cass, but he couldn’t help it. She nearly missed the toilet as she sat down and did her business. She finished, shuffled over to her own separate sink, and used her peach scented hand soap to wash her hands. Once done, she dried her hands, and slowly shuffled out of the bathroom not once looking or speaking to Dean. She was still asleep and hadn’t noticed him, then. It took everything in his power for Dean not to laugh at her the entire time she was in there. When he closed the door behind her, he couldn’t help but flashback.

_He’d been brushing his teeth when he heard the doorknob to the skeevy motel bathroom door jiggle. When she squeezed past him and sat down, he was so shocked he could barely get the words out quick enough._

_“Oh, come on!” He whined at her, before spitting into the sink._

_“Sorry, I had to pee and you were taking forever!” Bianca yelled back, clearly not caring._

_“Do we have to be **those** people? I mean, seriously! Do we have to be **that** couple?” He asked, still whining._

_“Oh kiss my ass, Dean! Just close your eyes and pretend to be somewhere else.” She said while she finished up._

_“Not helping. I can still hear sounds! It’s called boundaries, Bianca!”_

_“Boy, you better build a bridge and get over it!”_

_“Have a little decency, will ya? I eat at that restaurant, for Christ’s sake!”_

_She rolled her eyes and hip checked him out of the way so she could wash her hands. “And I sample that sausage frequently! Am I supposed to think that it sometimes comes with a complimentary lemon glaze?” She laughed._

_He rolled his eyes and sighed, rinsing his toothbrush when she was done. “You’re lucky I love you.” He said without thinking, but they both froze once he did. She looked in his eyes through the small mirror in front of them._

_“Did you just say you love me?” She asked softly._

_“Yeah.” He answered, his heart racing._

_She smiled so hard her eyes were twinkling. It’s something he’ll never forget and never tire of, he only sees it when she’s really happy._

_“I love you too.” She replied. He stepped forward to crowd her against the sink, turning her face to kiss her deeply over her shoulder. The kiss was passionate, and said all the other things they’d been afraid to say. His hands traveled her curves as she brought her hand up to cup his cheek. His lips trailed her neck to her shoulders as his fingers deftly unbuttoned her pants. As he entered her, with her embracing him in the best way possible, he’d forgotten all about boundaries._

Dean shook his head at the memory, unable to stop smiling as he brushed his teeth.

The car ride to the set with Jared was pretty laid back, which he was grateful for. Jared didn’t even speak. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who thought it was way too early in the morning. Still, he’d met Cliffie who seemed like an okay dude.

Unlike his previous visit to this universe, when Dean arrived at his trailer he used his time to actually study his lines. Fortunate for him, the writers definitely started writing his character to sound more like him so it would feel more natural for him. His responses and reactions felt more organic to his personality, just more PG friendly, so he wouldn’t really be using acting skills he didn’t have. Still, he had no idea what the hell they were thinking with his character.

He headed over to the wardrobe trailer, grateful that so few of the episodes this season didn’t require him to be shirtless. Next was the hair and makeup trailer, something he was still uncomfortable with, but muddled through. It was much easier this time around, because the hair and makeup ladies were just hilarious. Especially Zabrina. Plus, Jared was there with him snacking on candy so he didn’t feel as bad about getting painted up like a Vegas showgirl.

The makeup ladies stepped for a few minutes, leaving them alone.

“Dude, you seriously have to be 85% sugar with how much candy you eat.” Dean teased.

“What can I say? It’s a problem.” Jared laughed, chewing on some green apple sour straws.

Dean pulled out his phone, happily smiling at the picture B just sent him. Apparently, Dallas felt eating her breakfast was beneath her this morning and threw it all over herself and her mother. But Bianca was a good sport, sporting a tired smile in the photo while Dallas beamed into the camera showing her gums and all four of her new teeth.

“She’s so cute.” Jared said, looking over Dean’s shoulder.

“She’s beautiful, man.” Dean said quietly.

“You were different this weekend.” Jared noted, grabbing another sour straw.

“Different how?”

“You know how, man. Before, you barely wanted to spend time with them. Now, you’re family man of the year. Not that that’s a bad thing!” Jared held his hands up in defense.

Dean’s brows furrowed as he looked down at the picture. “Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking then, but…I got my head on straight now.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Really glad. B’s a good chick and she loves you man.”

“More than I deserve.” Dean agreed.

“I’m glad you finally listened to me man, it’s such a relief. You know I love you like a brother and I’d do anything for you, but I hated lying all the time to cover for you. I hope this means you took my advice and broke up with her.” Jared said, looking down at his own phone.

Dean looked over at him confused. “Broke up with who?”

Just as Jared was about to answer, the door to the makeup trailer opened and Jared was called out to go film his own scenes. Brushing the comment off, Dean put his headphones in and played music on his phone. Of course, his wife’s last album flowed into his ears. The music was more mainstream than he usually liked, but the lyrics were catchy and he would never tire of hearing her voice singing. He leaned back and relaxed in the chair, closing his eyes and losing himself to the sounds.

He wasn’t alone for long. About halfway through the second song someone else came in the trailer, moving around behind him. He assumed it was one of the makeup ladies until he felt arms wrap around his shoulders and lips on his neck.

He nearly fell over when he jumped out of the makeup chair, trying to get away. “Lady, what the hell!” He yelled as he scrambled. When he turned around and finally yanked the earbuds out of his ears, he couldn’t believe who he was staring at.

“Aw come on Jay, don’t be that way. We only have 45 minutes before we’re due on set.” She smiled seductively, stalking towards him in the small space.

Dean was in shock. “Lisa?” He asked.

She stopped in her tracks and her eyes narrowed. “So you’re calling me Lisa now? We’ve never roleplayed as our characters before, but I’m down if you are.” She started unbuttoning her shirt with what he was sure she considered a sexy smirk.

Dean shook his head. “You’re the actress that plays Lisa.” He realized out loud.

“No, I’m Lisa Braedon…” She said, playing along. “And you’re Dean Winchester. I just don’t how I’ll ever repay you for saving me from that Change thing.” She’d opened her shirt to reveal a black bra, the same black bra he’d seen in that random text the night before.

He backed away from her.

“It’s changeling, not change thing.”

“What?” She looked confused.

He shook his head, annoyed. This chick was so dumb. “Listen, Lisa, I mean, what is your real name?”

She stopped cold, looking at him confused. “Cindy.”

“Cindy. Whatever we were doing in the past, it’s over. It ends here, alright?”

“Come on Jay, you don’t mean that.” She purred, playing with the buttons on his plaid shirt. He grabbed her hands roughly to stop her. “You don’t want me to show you how badly I mean it.” He said harshly, giving her a hard stare in the eyes.

“Jay, what’s wrong?”

He stepped away from her and straightened his shirt. “This is wrong. I don’t how many times we’ve done this before and I don’t care, but it’s done. And it’s never going to happen again. Do you hear me? I’m married.”

She scoffed, getting upset. “Oh yeah, like that’s stopped us before! We’ve been fucking for a year, Jay! You told me you wanted us to be together! I thought you loved me! You said you were going to leave her!” Lisa yelled, her eyes watering.

“Keep your voice down!” He threatened, looking over to check the door. “You really thought I would leave my wife? _My_ wife? You’ve got some screws loose, lady.” He said.

“Jay, don’t do this! Please! I love—”

“Save it.” He cut her off. “And don’t call me Jay. Only my wife calls me that.”

Her lip trembled as tears trailed down her cheeks. “Look at me.” He waited until her stormy eyes met his, and spoke in a steady voice. “Don’t call me. Don’t text me. I want nothing to do with you unless it has to do with work. Do you understand me?”

“You know,” She began bitterly. “You’re an asshole. I thought you’d be different from all the other actors I’ve hooked up with.”

“Cindy, if that’s the kind of asshole you’re attracted to sweetheart, something’s wrong. Because if he’ll cheat on his wife, you can bet your ass he’d cheat on you just as quick. Stop chasing assholes and grow up.”

Furious, she buttoned her top and stormed out of the trailer leaving Dean alone again.

He ran his hands through his hair messing up the nice job the makeup ladies did, sighing a sigh so heavy it went down to his bones.  His head was spinning. Seriously, an affair? With the actress that played Lisa? For a whole fucking year? What the hell was Jensen Ackles thinking?

Dean knew that even on his worst day, even IF things hadn’t ended so badly with Lisa, he’d never go back to her after meeting Bianca. You don’t order the lobster and go back to eating the salmon.

Before he’d even had a minute to wrap his head around what happened, he was called to set to film his own scenes.

To her credit, Cindy had collected herself and behaved professionally the rest of the shoot. Jared was the only one who noticed the tension between them, rightfully assuming Dean had finally ended things and he was happy for it.

After a long day of filming and pulling his punches during the fight scenes, Dean was glad to have a moment of peace in the car ride home. Jared had fallen asleep, giving him time to contemplate the day. Acting wasn’t easy, and he secretly swore to himself he’d never make fun of actors again, but it was the other events of the day that left him exhausted. A war raged inside him on whether he should tell Bianca about Cindy or not.

He knew deep down in his soul it was the right thing to do. He knew he should tell her, and she deserved to know, even if it wasn’t really _him_ that wronged her. Though, he thought bitterly to himself, it wasn’t like he was guilt free when it came to her. Still, he’d just gotten her back. He’d just gotten a second chance to have her in his life. It just wasn’t fair, even in another universe, he still ended up the loser. Figures, he wasn’t allowed to be happy.

The dark cloud that followed him like a shadow began to swarm around him as the depression set in. He just felt this impending sense of doom, like he about to lose the love of his life again.

He said goodbye to Jared and Cliffie, slowly walking up the walkway to his house. _His_ house. He may not be Jensen Ackles, but for a moment, this was his life. He had a home, a wife, and a beautiful daughter. He’d taken Castiel’s advice and embraced the reprieve he was given. He’d found happiness. And it was all about to be snatched away from him again. He was tired, but most of all he was angry.

He put his stuff down and followed the melodious chords of a piano, down the hallway to the large room that used to be his den. What he found surprised him.

He’d helped her clear the room and make space all day Sunday, but he hadn’t expected her to have everything redecorated in a day. Bianca had had her studio equipment delivered from Texas, and transformed the entire room. Dean was amazed.

She was in the corner on the floor, wearing large vintage headphones while playing a keyboard on a stand low to the ground so she could sit cross-legged.

She looked so stunning, he was stopped in his tracks. She was so serene, wearing an old band t-shirt that was so big it had to be his, her hair wild, and her feet bare. He couldn’t hear what she was listening to, but she sang into the microphone she’d positioned above the keyboard.

 _“I thought that things like this get better with time_  
But I still need you, why is that?  
You're the only image in my mind  
So I still see you... around  
  
I miss you like every day  
Wanna be with you, but you're away  
Said I miss you, missing you insane  
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?” 

She finally looked up and saw him standing in the doorway. He started clapping and she looked down at the keyboard, hiding her blush. “What are you, my stalker now?” She teased.

“Baby, with an ass like that, I would follow you into a fire.”

She shook her head, still embarrassed, and straightened her sheet music to avoid looking in his eyes. “You’re crazy, Jay.”

“Crazy about you.” He said, not missing a beat.

“And incredibly cheesy.” She laughed, and his laughter joined hers. “How’d the hunt go? Demons?” She said with a smirk.

“Nah, not this time.” He smiled, playing along. “Took out a herd of flesh-eating unicorns. Believe me, they are not all sunshine and rainbows.”

Her head snapped up. “Unicorns? Seriously now, what the hell are the writers thinking? Do I need to call them again?” She said, insulted.

“No honey, please don’t. The writers are still afraid from the last time you called them. Besides, they’re thinking straight because we didn’t fight freakin’ unicorns! Babe, you said you didn’t want spoilers.”

She sighed. “You’re right, you’re right. Sorry. But seriously Jay, unicorns? Why would you do that to my fragile heart?”

“Because you’re so gullible.” He smiled a shit-eating grin.

“What are you doing home so early?” She asked. “Early?” He sighed, plopping down on the ground next to her. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, before resting his chin on her shoulder. “It’s 11 o’clock at night. I’m wiped.” He fought a yawn.

“Really? I mustve lost track of time…it feels like I only put Dallas down an hour ago…” She thought to herself as she wrote down more notes.

He breathed deeply, taking in her scent. “Can you play some more for me?” He asked.

She hesitated. “It’s not that good…I’m not sure it’s even going on the album. It’s something I wrote back in Texas…”

“Babe, come on…” He begged. “Please?”

She bit her bottom lip, and it immediately caught his eye. “It’s not a happy song…I wrote it when I was sad, I wasn’t in a great place. I mean, _we_ weren’t in a great place. Things between us are so good right now…I don’t wanna make you feel bad.” She warned.

“B,” He said softly. “I want to hear it. I guess I kind of need to hear it.”

After a while she nodded, and unplugged her headphones. She shook out her hands like a professional, making him chuckle. “Shut up, Ackles.” She warned before centering herself.

She began playing soft chords and let the music take her away.

 _“Words don't ever seem to come out right_  
But I still mean them, why is that?  
It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel  
But I still need to, why is that?  
  
I miss you like everyday  
Wanna be with you, but you're away  
I said I miss you, missing you insane  
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?”

She stopped playing, and the silence echoed through the room. “I missed you too, you know.” He said, wrapping his arm around her. “Everyday. Every second of everyday. And I’m sorry I pushed you away for so long.”

She leaned into his warmth, inhaling his unique smell. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. Not anymore.” She whispered and kissed his lips.

Dean felt his heart breaking during that kiss. All at once, guilt swarmed his chest threatening to squeeze his heart so tight it would stop beating, but a different feeling entirely bloomed in his gut.

In that kiss he knew, without a doubt, that he would choose to be selfish and not tell her. He selfishly decided that he needed her, needed to keep her, and in order to keep her he had to keep this away from her. It killed him, he knew it was wrong and he was only delaying the inevitable, but he felt he had no choice. This time, his happiness would not be snatched away from him, and he would not let this love slip through his fingers. He would tightly hold on to it with an iron grip, and fight for it harder than anything else he’d ever fought for in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! Woot woot!


	8. Bianca - Just Squeeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to dig a grave...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya guys! So it's definitely not Friday, and I promised to update....what up with that?
> 
> LOL sorry, my sister came into town and I had a busy weekend. But hey, better late than never right?
> 
> Full disclosure: Get yo Kleenex, children.
> 
> Also:
> 
> IF YOU THINK JAY-Z'S NEW ALBUM 4:44 WON'T BE MAKING A GRATUITOUS APPEARANCE IN THIS FIC, YOU'RE SMOKING SOMETHING.
> 
> That is all :)

**Chapter Eight: Bianca – Just Squeeze**

Jensen drove them all deep into the woods. Silently they exited the car and walked to the small clearing in the trees illuminated by the car’s headlights. Sam and Jensen opened the trunk, grabbing the two shovels they’d stashed before leaving the motel to come to Bianca’s rescue. Bianca stood by quietly as they began to dig a shallow grave.

About halfway through digging, James started to regain consciousness. They’d assigned Bianca to keep watch, having left him tied on the ground against a tree while they worked. In one hand, she held the bronze dagger coated in her coworker Kelly’s blood, and in the other she held a large flashlight for them see as they dug.

“Ugh, hope somebody got the number offa’ that truck that hit me…” He said drowsily, slowly shaking his head. As his vision focused and he took in his surroundings, he started to panic. He pulled at the ropes binding his hands and couldn’t get loose. Just as he was about to scream for help he noticed Bianca.

“Baby doll…what the fuck is going on?” He asked, never taking his eyes off Sam and Jensen who were a ways away.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re not stupid, you know what the fuck is going on. The same way you know exactly what this is.” She gestured with the knife.

He gulped audibly. “Listen Bianca…I’m not judging you, but if this freaky shit is what you’re into we gotta lay some ground rules first.”

“Cut the shit, James. You can drop the act anytime now.”

“Okay sweetheart, I don’t know what kind of weird shit you and those fellas got going on but I want no parts of it. Untie me and let me the fuck go.” He said angrily.

“Do I really look dumb enough to let a monster like you go?”

“Monster? Jesus Christ, what the hell are you talking about doll?”

“Don’t play games with me. We both know you’re a siren.” She said through her teeth.

“A siren? What in the flying fuck is a siren? Seriously, female, you’re shitting me right? A monster? You’re fucking crazy!”

She got so angry she walked over to where he was tied up, and held the knife to his throat. “Careful handsome,” She said icily. “Crazy’s holding the knife.”

James just smiled evilly. “Aw doll, never bring a knife to a gun fight.” He opened his mouth wide, effectively spraying his venom into her mouth. She sputtered and spat loudly, drawing the attention of the others. As his venom breached her system, Bianca was forced to watch as her body reacted against her will.  She turned on the brothers immediately, wielding the bronze dagger.

They both stopped in their tracks, hands raised in surrender. “Whoa…Bianca, what’s going on?” Sam asked in confusion.

She said nothing, only moving when they dared tried to take a step towards her. She pulled a pistol from her waistband under her shirt, and held them both in her sights.

“Bianca baby, be a doll and throw me the knife.” James said smugly.

Without turning her head, Bianca tossed the knife behind her to James not once taking her eyes off the Winchesters. James cut himself free of his ties, and stood up to dust himself off.

“That’s fucking better, eh fellas?” He smiled, before turning around and throwing the knife deep in the woods. Dean nearly darted forward to stop him, but Bianca trained the gun on him as he did freezing him in his tracks.

“Ah-ah, not another step. Wouldn’t wanna end the party too early.” James said cheerily. He stalked slowly up to Bianca to stand behind her. “Now correct me if I’m wrong here, but you told me back at the diner that trouble has a way of finding you right sweetheart? Well let’s just find out which one of these pricks is the troublemaker, huh?” James pressed himself against her, running his hands along her curves as he whispered in her ear.

She reacted to his touch, though never took her eyes off her targets. James watched Sam and Jensen to see which one of them would react. Sam looked angry, but also tensed for a fight at a second’s notice. Jensen, however, looked downright incensed as he was forced to watch James caress Bianca’s breasts. When James’ hand made the slow trail down to the meeting of her legs, Jensen lost it.

“Alright, damn it, that’s enough!” He screamed.

James laughed victoriously. “Oh, and we have a winner!” He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck sweetly. “Really Bianca, this guy? I mean, obviously, I knew you had a type going,” He said, gesturing to his own bad-boy appearance. “But he’s clearly nothin’ to write home about.” James teased and Jensen clenched his fists.

“Bianca you love me, don’t you?” He purred into her ear, and she nodded.

“You trust me, don’t you? I could give you everything you want, babe. I’m in love with you too.” He continued, and a single tear fell from her eye.

“Bianca, don’t listen!” Sam darted forward and she fired off a warning shot at his feet and he came no closer.

“I promise you Bianca, I’m nothing like him. I’ll never lie to you. I’m gonna give you everything you want baby, it’s yours. I would never leave you, and I would especially never abandon you if you lost our baby.”

She couldn’t help the sob that escaped her as she absorbed his words while looking Jensen straight in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere. I wanna be there for you through thick n’ thin. I’ll be with ya, till the end of the line. I want to give you a baby, Bianca. That little girl with the curly hair and button nose that you can’t stop dreaming about. I want you to be my family, my world.”

James’ words cut right through Jensen like a blade as his mind regained access to the memories of Bianca’s last visit on the show, hurling behind his eyes like a locomotive gone off the rails. Tears filled his eyes at the dark memory, the somber and painful conversation they’d held haunting his soul. The pain in his chest pierced him at the very thought of his wife losing a baby, never meeting his baby girl Dallas, and he finally understood why Bianca felt the things she did. She had every right to hate Dean, and now those wounds on her heart were being ripped open all over again. As if the dam unknowingly erected inside him that isolated those emotions and that crippling sense of loss he’d never been aware of had finally cracked, Jensen’s entire being was doused with the sadness of that knowledge. The pain struck his very soul. Jensen’s vision clouded at seeing his wife this way, and felt the immense guilt of his own sins against her, not just Dean’s, weigh him down till he felt like his blood was replaced by lead. His heart was breaking right in front of him, and he had no way to stop it. He was about to die, and he would never get the chance to set things right.

“B, please…I’m begging you.” His voice cracked as tears ran down his cheeks. “Don’t listen to him. Please put down the gun.”

She cried as her vision blurred. “You left me.” She cocked the gun and pointed square at his chest.

“I know baby, I know…” Jensen swallowed thickly. “And I’m sorry B, I’m so sorry, but Bianca…you know he’s lying. He’s in your head, and you gotta fight him. Fight him, baby.”

James kissed her neck again and inhaled her scent. “After everything he did to you he’s still lying to you Bianca. He’s not sorry. And if he’s around, we can never be happy. As long as he’s breathing, you can never be free, doll. We can never be together. Don’t you want to be together forever?” He asked sweetly, and she nodded.

“That’s my girl. Then just pull the trigger.” He reached forward, his hand joining hers to hold the gun. He embraced her tighter when she started shaking.

“One bullet and he can’t hurt you anymore. All that pain goes away. **_Just squeeze_** , and it won’t hurt to think about him anymore. You won’t be in love with him anymore. We can finally be together.”

Bianca’s grip tightened on the gun as she lined up her shot.

Right as she was about to pull the trigger something caught her eye, but she was a second too late. Sam had already pulled the bronze dagger from his sleeve and thrown the blood coated knife at James, hitting him precisely between the eyes. His body fell limply behind her as the fog in her mind cleared.

Shaking, she dropped the gun in her hand as more tears fell in streams down her cheeks. She fell to the ground, an anguished scream escaped her throat as she wept. Jensen immediately went to her, falling to his knees and gathering her in his arms tightly. He rocked her as she sobbed, fighting to regain control of his own tears.

Sam wiped at the tears in his own eyes, his heart breaking at the sight of the two of them. He wanted to weep for them, his mind spinning as his heart mourned the loss of the life they’d never told him about. All this time, he had no idea what had caused them such pain. Sensing they needed to finally have this moment, he silently he dragged James’ corpse to the hole they dug and pushed him in.

Bianca was inconsolable, falling apart to pieces in Jensen’s arms. “I wasn’t g-good enough, Dean. I c-couldn’t keep her, I lost h-her! It’s m-my fault. I’m so s-sorry Dean.”

Jensen continued to hush her cries. “Bianca…shh. It’s not your fault, babe, it was never your fault.”

“I don’t know w-what’s wrong with me…w-why wasn’t I s-strong enough?”

“You’re the strongest person I know,” He said resolutely into her hair. “Never forget that.”

He lifted her into his arms as Sam generously doused the body in gasoline, lighting a book of matches and tossing it into the hole. Jensen continued to whisper her reassurances as he carried her into the car, climbing in the backseat with her firmly in his arms. Sam collected the rest of their gear and put it in the trunk, wordlessly climbed in the driver’s seat wiping his eyes one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double-hitter because the writer was busy and broke her promise! Stay tuned.


	9. Jensen - Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you say to a person after something like that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you held on to those Kleenex...

**Chapter Nine: Jensen – Coward**

After Sam stopped by to check them out of their motel, he drove them back to the Bianca’s house. The car had been dreadfully quiet. No one had spoken, and Bianca was barely moving apart from her breathing and silent unending tears. She exited the car swiftly, not once looking back at Jensen as she jerked free of his arms. She approached the front door in a daze, leaving it opened behind her. Jensen and Sam shared a look, unsure exactly of what to do.

She slowly climbed the stairs to her bedroom, stripping her clothes as she walked, and locked the bathroom door behind her. She climbed into her shower and turned it on, not even giving temperature consideration, and curled into a ball just as she had all those months ago, when she and Dean ended. This way, she assured herself, there was no way to tell her tears apart from the spraying water.

Sam and Jensen entered her house, putting their stuff down by the door, and locking it behind them. They both looked around the small space, taking in the sparse decorations and knick knacks. The few pictures she did have scattered around the room were of her coworkers, other people from the dinner, and a few of the three of them together.

“She mentioned she had a spare room before. I guess I’ll take the couch tonight and you take the bed.”  Sam offered, not really knowing what else to say. He was still in shock, learning this his older had almost been a father.

“Thanks Sammy…see you in the morning.” Jensen’s head was hung low as dark emotions hovered above him like a cloud. He felt so terrible…like all of this was his fault. Well it was, wasn’t it? Perhaps indirectly, grant you—this wasn’t his Bianca and he knew that—but that didn’t mean he’d been treating his own Bianca that much better. Sure, he didn’t emotionally abandon her forcing her to suffer through a miscarriage of their child alone, but he sure was hellbent on pushing his own wife further away.

Making up excuses to avoid spending time with her, to avoid spending time with his own daughter, and worst of all cheating on her multiple times—he was the worst. He was ashamed of himself. He knew that wasn’t the man his parents raised him to be. How he ever let himself believe that his life would be better without her in it will always be a thought that haunts him for the end of his days.

As he walked down the slim hallway to the spare room directly across from hers, he could hear the shower in her bedroom going. Deciding what she needed now more than ever was space, he headed into the spare room. He didn’t even bother to turn on the lights, he just shucked his shoes and closed the door, collapsing on the bed to stare up into the dark.

When he first broke into acting, he struggled as most actors do. He had to work hard to make a name for himself, until he got his big break. Once he got it, Supernatural changed his life and he never looked back. He had a great life, a successful career, and he fell for an amazingly beautiful and talented woman that he didn’t deserve. And for some godforsaken reason, she fell for him too. She was gracious enough to become his wife. Both their careers took off even further and life was nothing but a dream. Yet somewhere along the way…he started to take it all for granted.

The first tear fell from the corner of his eye down the side of his face to his ear, and he didn’t care to wipe it. He just continued to stare up at the dark ceiling, reflecting on all his past sins. He took his wife for granted, his family for granted, he had even taken the life he’d built for granted and none of the reasons or excuses he used to tell himself sounded good to his ears anymore.

If someone were to ask him was it all worth it, he would confess no in a heartbeat. Hell, he’d even taken his career for granted by sleeping with Cindy. Not only did he put his job in jeopardy by sleeping with another actor on the show, had the truth been exposed it would’ve certainly been a nasty scandal. There’s no doubt in his mind that the studio would’ve found some way to let him go. For months, he lied to her and told her loved her and strung her along, allowing her in his house. Allowing her in his bed, under his sheets, sleeping on the side meant for his wife. Allowed her to use her fancy soaps and expensive perfumes, to wear her high fashion wardrobe. He’d been such an idiot because she paled in comparison…there was no way Cindy could fit Bianca’s clothes, she certainly lacked the curves and the ass that his wife had been blessed with.

He’d used their hard-earned money from their joint account to pay Cindy’s rent and buy her expensive gifts. He was such an asshole, he was the worst kind of person. He hated himself even more for how selfish it all was…Bianca was such a beautiful person and she never deserved any of what he’d done to her. Even if she never knew about it. He hated himself for forcing his best friend into an awkward position, knowing Jared would do anything for him and cover for him when he needed it. He should have just set her free if he didn’t want to be with her anymore, but he was too much of a fucking coward to man up and come clean. And he knew deep down in his soul that she would never forgive him.

The same way he knew this version of Bianca might never forgive Dean. What they’d both done was unspeakable and despicable in their own ways. But one thing was clear—they were both cowards in their own rights.

The tears fell down his face freely now, as the shame overtook him. Combined with the anguish of the realization he might never see his wife or make it up to her, the violent storm inside him raged with the strength of a tempest.

He might not ever get to be with her again, but he might be able to make things right with this Bianca. It dawned on him that while it wasn’t ideal, this might the only chance he’ll get to set things right in a way. And he was through being a coward. He was going to try.

He realized, belatedly after checking his phone, that the shower had been running for the last hour. He immediately jumped to his feet to go check her. When he entered her bedroom, he noticed a few things at once.

First, was the blanket on her bed…he remembered from the show it was supposed to be a memento from her and Dean’s past when they visited New Mexico. A stuffed Pink Panther on her dresser, another memento from their past that he won for her at a random state fair since it was her favorite cartoon as a kid.

And finally, the singing coming from the bathroom. He knew his wife’s voice anywhere, though it sounded less refined now, and the pain and sorrow of the lyrics were so heartbreaking it broke him inside.

_I guess that love just wasn’t enough for us to survive…_

_I swear, I swear, I swear, I tried_

_You took the life right out of me…_

_I’m so unlucky, I can’t breathe…_

_You took the life right out of me, me, me, me, me…_

_I’m longin’ for your heartbeat…_

_Heartbeat…_

_Heartbeat._

Grief rocked his entire being as he realized what the song was about. Grief, that apparently still gripped her heart to this day. His eyes immediately flew to the framed picture of ultrasound she kept on the small table by her bed. With a heavy heart, his feet felt like lead as he forced them one in front of the other towards the bathroom door.

He knocked gently, and received no response. He tried the doorknob, and cursed when he found it locked.

“Bianca? B, you okay in there?” He asked timidly, and still heard nothing.

“Sweetheart can you hear me? I’m worried about you…” He spoke, making his voice a little stronger.

“B…if you don’t answer I’m gonna have to break the door down. Tell me you’re okay…” His words were firm, the panic building inside him.

He quickly turned around, lifting his boot behind him to kick the door with the flat of his foot. After three tries, it opened. He rushed inside and found her curled up in the fetal position, staring off into the distance from beneath the spray of the shower head.

“Baby?” He asked, falling to his knees in front of the tub and reaching forward to hold her face with both hands. He winced when he felt the freezing water, only now noticing how blue her once full pink lips were. “Bianca, baby talk to me!” He gently slapped her cheek but she was unresponsive, her eyes finally falling to his face but somehow looking through his head with that same 1000-yard stare.

“All my fault.” She whispered, and if he hadn’t been leaning in so close to her he would’ve missed it. She felt so cold to his touch, and her brown skin looked so pale his heart shattered as his brain raced overtime to figure out how to help her.

“Baby listen to me, I’m gonna get you out and into some warm clothes, okay? I’m gonna pick you up.” He warned her as he turned off the shower, before grabbing a huge towel and reaching forward.

He held her tightly in his arms as he wrapped her, even harder than he had earlier, and as her body shivered and her teeth chattered she burrowed into his chest like a frightened child.

He carried her into the bedroom and gently placed her on the bed, drying her off as quickly as possible. He turned to her dresser and rummaged through the drawers, grabbing the warmest stuff he could find and dressed her as fast as he could make his hands work. Once she was clothed he pulled back the blankets, placing her under them. He hastily shed his own clothes down to his boxers and climbed in behind her, pulling her frame close against him and wrapping her warmly in his embrace. Only then did her shivering start to subside.

He rocked them gently, just as he had earlier, and kept his lips buried her curly crown.

“I’m so sorry Bianca…” He spoke, though his voice was thick with so many emotions. “I’m so sorry I put you through that. I was so fucking stupid. There’s a lot of things I wish I could change about myself, and…letting myself lose you? That’s the biggest. You mean the world to me. You’re the reason I’m here. Without you, there is no me.”

When Jensen finally started paying attention he heard the smooth, even breaths coming from below him. He pulled her in closer, and allowed her to sleep. And he allowed himself the paradise of feeling her in his arms, safe.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not to be thirsty or anything, but comments are encouraged!
> 
> I think it's been pretty obvious, but each chapter I write is inspired by the lyrics or flavor of a song...most likely from Beyonce (or soon to be Jay-Z), but sometimes other artists too. So, that being said, still to come (in no particular order):
> 
> Forever Young  
> 4:44  
> Resentment  
> Towards the Sun  
> Sandcastles (Obviously)  
> Family Feud  
> Love Drought  
> Nothing  
> Die With You  
> All Night
> 
>  
> 
> And more :)


	10. Outtake - Mad Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Bianca's birthday, and Dean is willing to do anything to make her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, this is an outtake FOR A REASON. It does nothing to further the plot, it's just a small outtake that popped into my head. Full of smut, hard dirty smut, but also fluff and cuteness. Dean is completely out of character (at least, the characterization I've written so far) in this chapter so if that's something that nags you or cooks your cookies, skip it.
> 
> If nothing else, you can take away from this chapter that they had sex but more importantly, Dean gets a harrowing glimpse of her fame and celebrity.
> 
> WARNING: HEAVY MENTIONS OF SUICIDE SQUAD. SO IF YOU DIDN'T CARE FOR THAT MOVIE, JARED LETO'S JOKER, OR THE BATMAN COMICS IN GENERAL (NOT TO MENTION A ROUGHER, SEXIER DEAN IN THE BEDROOM) THIS CHAPTER ISN'T FOR YOU SO SKIP IT.
> 
> You have been warned. That is all :)

**OUTTAKE (7/8) - DEAN**

Dean’s not ashamed to admit that he spent nearly the entire three weeks leading up to Halloween obsessively shopping online for the perfect costume for Dallas. He knew that if his past self from a year ago were to see him now, he wouldn’t recognize him. But Dean couldn’t find it in himself to care. He and Bianca floated a lot of ideas back and forth, seeing how her birthday was always the day before her favorite holiday. She came up with the bright idea that they would all coordinate, another fact Dean was unashamed to say excited him. They’d decided together that they would all attend the party her label was throwing for her that Friday night, and that Saturday on Halloween they’d join Jared and Gen to take the kids trick or treating. While huge parties were never his thing, nor was Halloween for that matter (because he got to see monsters the other 364 days of the year, thanks) her excitement was contagious and he was getting in the spirit.

For days there were many text messages sent back and forth between them, making Dean smile through his hours at work like a love drunk idiot. Taking all of Jared’s teasing in stride, they’d already mutually vetoed a ladybug, a bumblebee, a pumpkin, a cupcake, a lamb, and countless others.

“I just feel like, yeah, that’s adorable but she’s already adorable, right?” B asked him through skype, since Dean had about an hour before he was due back on set. Sure, they could’ve settled for a phone call, but then he would have missed Dallas having playtime. It warmed his heart that she was playing with the blocks he’d bought her in the Walking Dead ‘Lil’ Asskicker’ onesie Bianca bought off Amazon.

“Our kid is pretty friggin’ adorable, isn’t she?” He agreed.

“Damn right she is! So I feel, personally, that all that generic ‘baby’s first Halloween’ costume crap is lame. I mean, she’s not just any baby, she’s our baby, and our baby is the coolest baby in the world.” Bianca was sitting on the floor with Dallas in her studio, holding her in her lap as she played.

“With the coolest parents in the world.” He added.

She looked up with a smile that did things to Dean’s heart. “Naturally.” She agreed. “So, here’s my line of thought. We steer clear of all that cutesy baby stuff, I mean, we’re all gonna match anyway right?”

“Yeah, but you remember our deal…”

“No final decisions made without both parties agreeing to the theme, I got it.” She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, you’re the one who had that dumb idea.” He chuckled.

“For the record, Shrek and Fiona would’ve been hilarious and awesome.”

“You do realize that would’ve meant you had to wear a fat suit, prosthetics, and a whole lot of green paint for the entire night right?”

“It kind of feels like you’re doubting my commitment to the craft.” She accused.

“Honey, I know you, and after an hour you would’ve been cursing up a storm ready to take it off.”

“Oh, ye of little faith.” She smiled. “With all that said, I found the perfect costume idea for the party.” She’d started tapping away on her tablet.

“OK hold on to your socks,” She warned before holding up the tablet to the camera on the laptop. “Ta-da!”

The little girl on the screen was wearing an awesome Batgirl costume, looking absolutely adorable and kickass at the same time.

Dean yet again felt his heart stutter in his chest. This woman, his wife, embraced and shared his obsession with his favorite superhero, and the thought of Dallas wearing a Batgirl costume…he felt his heart grow. “What do you think?” She asked.

“Babe, you have no idea how much I love you right now.” Dean smirked. “It’s perfect!”

She laughed. “I thought you might like it. Let’s keep that positivity going, good vibes, good vibes…”

He crossed his arms, knowing she was up to something. “What is it?”

“Nothing at all, your costume is up next…” She tapped away some more. “And here we go! Ta-da!”

Dean held his breath, anticipation building as his hope rose for a badass Batman suit.

He deflated when she held up a picture of Suicide Squad version of The Joker on her tablet.

“No.” He shook his head.

She pouted. “Aw, come on babe. You’re overreacting, it’s really not as bad as you think it might—”

“You’re right, it’s not as bad as I think it might be because it’s already worse. I’m not dressing up like that.”

She rolled her eyes, pouting and Dean couldn’t help but find it cute. “You won’t be Joker, you won’t be Demon Dean…” She whined.

“Because then it’s not fun for me, it’s just work! Besides, I wouldn’t be able to see two feet in front of me with those demon contacts! And without the contacts, news flash, it’s just Dean.” He complained back, obviously saying nothing of the fact that he had no intentions of ever reliving that dark period in his actual past.

“Jay just hear me out, okay? Not only would it go with the theme we’re trying to create here with Dallas, it goes with the theme of the party.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, Batman and Gotham City. You’re a huge nerd, you know that?”

“I’m sitting in a judgement free zone, this is a safe space, and your judgement can’t judge me.” She circled the area around her as she recited, just like she always did whenever he commented on her fandoms.

“And I’m sure this has nothing to do with that fantasy you told me about a few nights ago.” He said sarcastically.

She quickly covered Dallas’ ears, as if she’d even be able to understand what they were talking about. “I never should’ve told you about that damn fantasy! Did I say anything about your Gym Coach/Cheerleader fantasy? Nope! Seriously, the shade is unreal today! I’m feeling the judgement rolling off you in waves, Ackles!”

“I’m sorry babe, I promise I’m not judging you.” He laughed through his uncontrollable laughter, meanly clearly he was. She rolled her eyes fighting her own laughter, finally uncovering confused Dallas’ ears.

“So then why can’t we be Batman and Cat Woman? Or better yet, Batman and Wonder Woman?” He said.

“Because that just seems played to me. Think about how many other people are gonna wear that exact same thing. It’s _my_ party! I want to really go all out and show dedication. I wanna commit to the part, Jay!”

Dean rolled his eyes, and sighed heavily. She was clearly passionate about this. He was quiet for a moment as a war raged inside him. Then he thought back to the night before, picturing just how amazing she looked in that skimpy cheerleader outfit. She’d went all out, getting them the costumes, and had even bought him a whistle. She did all that for him, and he couldn’t dress up one night for her?

He spoke through gritted teeth. “So what…exactly…do I have to do for the—”

“YAYYYYYYYYYY!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, making Dallas scream along. He didn’t want to smile, and he really didn’t want to laugh because he was fighting a losing battle and giving in. But they were just so darn cute. Dallas was clapping her hands excitedly with her mommy.

“Alright, so bear with me here…white paint for both of us, temporary green hair dye for you, not to mention quite a few temporary tattoos…annnnnnndddd, a grill most likely, for the metal teeth.”

“This is sounding like a more work than Shrek!” He sighed again, somehow feeling tired all the sudden. “I’m gonna look like an idiot. Jared is never gonna shut up.”

“Who cares what Jared says? Besides, I have it on good authority Gen is gonna make him dress up like the Green Arrow. He won’t have shit to say because Stephen is never gonna let him live that down. You’re not gonna look like an idiot baby, I promise…” Her voice got softer, and she gave a somewhat sultry look to the camera. “You’re gonna look like Mr. J, puddin’. Or have you forgotten what my costume is gonna look like?” She gave him a sexy smirk, holding up the tablet to reveal her Harley Quinn costume.

Dean perked up. “Now that’s something I could get behind…literally.” His eyes immediately narrowing in on the tiny blue and red shorts, imagining his wife’s beautifully thick legs and round ass squeezing in them.

“I thought that might change your mind.” She said smugly. “Which is good because I already spoke with Dante, my stylist, and he’s recreating the look for us. I texted Zabrina two hours ago and she said she’d be more than willing to do our hair and makeup. I’m pretty sure she’s more excited than I am.”

“Wait, you already went through with it?” He was shocked.

“What can I say? I know my husband.” She winked at him and ended the call.

Dean shook his head as he closed his laptop. God, he loved that woman. She’s crazy as hell, but he loves her.

With a reluctant smile gracing his lips, he closed his eyes enjoying his last few moments of peace. Things couldn’t be going better for him. His wife was happy, beyond ecstatic about her birthday coming up, his little girl was healthy, and work was going well. Acting, it turns out, was incredibly fun for him and he regretted that he’d never gotten a chance to explore it in his universe. Hobbies were something he'd never been afforded since his mother’s death and his life changed entirely. But here, where he was safe to be the Dean he never thought he wanted to be, he discovered he liked it because it challenged him.

He’d also found out when he returned the following week that Cindy had quit the show, telling the producers she’d found a much more lucrative role somewhere else. She never elaborated and she didn’t stick around to say goodbye for that matter. It might make him a terrible person, but Dean couldn’t have been happier when he got the news. It also meant the storyline had to be rewritten a bit, but it wasn’t anything too major. She didn’t have many episodes left, and luckily that meant he didn’t have to do any romantic scenes with her. The producers told him it was no trouble, since his character was considered a rolling stone. Dean tried not to think about that too deeply, reminding himself that all of that changed when he met Bianca.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be living in this alternate universe, and a part of him truly missed his own, but he couldn’t help the sense of home beginning to form inside him. So often he’d lose himself in this life, and some painful sign would stab his heart reminding him that he wasn’t really Jensen Ackles. Answering to the name became easier after a while, but seeing old friends he didn’t recognize or talking on the phone with Jensen’s mom left him feeling guilty. Slowly the guilt was ebbing away, but it was still present.

The knock on his trailer door pulled him back to the present, and he left to go shoot his last scenes for the day.

The day of her birthday, Dean made sure she’d woken up to a hotel room full of her favorite flowers and his head between her legs. After she was completely blissed out, he all but shoved her to the shower to have a moment to herself while he went to take care of Dallas. The suite that he’d booked for them when planning their trip to LA was insane, it was like living in an actual house. When she came downstairs, Dallas was happily babbling in her high chair munching on Cheerios while Dean pulled the cinnamon rolls he’d baked out of the oven. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Her presence was soon detected when Dallas saw her.

“Mommymommymommy!” Dallas cheered happily, reaching out for her. Bianca padded over to her and picked her up out of the high chair.

“Hey honey bunch!” Bianca beamed while kissing her chubby cheeks. She hugged Dallas tightly, deeply inhaling her scent. She felt strong arms wrap around her waist from behind, and a stubbly chin rest on her shoulder. “Happy Birthday, baby.” Dean whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek.

She turned her head as the shiver went down her spine to capture his lips with her own, fully aware of the small chubby hands on their cheeks. “Thank you, Jay. Now where are the cinnamon rolls?”

He laughed, walking back over to the stove to add the icing. “Did you enjoy your present?” He asked, sending her a smoldering look over his shoulder.

The lovely blush he was gifted warmed him from the inside. “Best part of waking up.” She said, trying to hide her face. “Better than Folgers, I’ll tell you that much.” She continued.

“That’s my girl,” He commended, returning to the task at hand. “And that was only the beginning. We’re having lunch with your mom and your sister at noon. Since we slept in so late,” He winked at her, making her roll her eyes. “We got about an hour before we have to head out to the restaurant.”

“Which restaurant?”

“Your favorite.” He smirked smugly.

“Are you trying to impress me, Mr. Ackles?” She squared her eyes at him playfully with a sly smirk.

“Is it working?”

She pursed her lips as she considered it. “Maybe.” Happily, she dug into the cinnamon rolls, sipping occasionally her chocolate milk. Dean just smiled at her, loving how much of a kid she was at heart.

He truly enjoyed the quiet moment with his family, but his peaceful bubble was popped the moment they stepped outside of their hotel to the waiting limousine. Countless people stood by, holding up more cameras and phones than he could count, snapping so many pictures the flashes nearly blinded him. He was grateful she suggested he wear his sunglasses, he was even grateful she’d made sure their security was prepared well before they’d ventured out, and he was most grateful he hadn’t been the one carrying Dallas. Sure, he’d had his brush with fans up in Vancouver, and had even gotten of small taste of what it was like for Bianca whenever they went out for dinner up there. But Los Angeles was an entirely different ballgame.

It was disorienting, the screaming, people yelling out their names and wishing her a happy birthday, even yelling out for Dallas. None of this people knew them, even knew their _child, not_ really, so the mania completely unsettled him. He could barely see in front of him, much less walk in a straight line. The distance from the hotel lobby to the waiting car wasn’t very far, but it felt like a mile. His head was spinning, all the while their security kindly but firmly nudging him in the direction he needed to go.

Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion to him. His ears were ringing, and his chest felt a little tight. He felt lost, only until he found her form walking a few steps ahead of him.

Bianca looked in her element, possessing a preparedness he wasn’t sure he’d ever witnessed. She looked beautiful of course, wearing form fitting jeans and a ‘fresher than you’ t-shirt from her last tour, and a towering set of high heels. Her steps were certain, and her walk was confident. She didn’t falter, and if she was fazed by the flashing lights, she didn’t show it. Her sunglasses shielded her eyes, and her smile was rehearsed. He realized instantly that it was fake because he knew her real smile, and felt grateful that she reserved it only for him. Her facial expression was pleasant yet was determined, and he knew it was because in her mind she was on a mission. She was carrying very precious cargo. He’d only seen that look whenever his Bianca went on a hunt.

She listened to security, smiled at all the adoring people, but most importantly…she carried Dallas. She held Dallas close to her, her arms firm around her, having care to keep her face hidden in her bosom with a gentle hand protecting her eyes from the flashes and her ears from the screaming. Dallas, it seemed, wasn’t quite happy about all the attention and never turned her head.

Dean was amazed, and gained confidence from the fearlessness she exuded. Taking a few larger steps, he caught up to her side and placed a hand on her lower back as they walked. Her face snapped to his and just like that, her smile transformed into the one he fell in love with. Before he knew it they’d reached the limo and he was helping them both in safely because they always came first. He got in and the door was shut behind him, making the cameras close in closer than before. By the time they had Dallas secured in her car seat, the flashes were dimming as they drove away.

He found that he enjoyed Bianca’s sister Celeste and mother Tina (Ms. Tina, she preferred to be called, ma’am made her feel old) immensely, and after a few embarrassing stories about her he’d forgotten about all the people trying to inconspicuously watch them eat lunch and failing. He knew eyes were on them, but once he let himself focus on Bianca’s embarrassed laugh or Dallas mushing her food, everything else was forgotten.

He’d been having the best day, right up until Zabrina got of the elevator to their penthouse suite. Dante had already dropped off their costumes, perfect replicas from the movie, and Dean was still having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact he had to wear that bright ass purple jacket with no shirt.

“Is there any way I can convince you to turn right back around and tell her you couldn’t make it? Come on Zee…” Dean begged, and she just laughed as she strolled past him with her two assistants. “Not on your life!”

She found Dallas and B in the living room, watching ‘It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’. Hugs were given, and much to Dean’s dismay, he was due in the chair first.

Dean wondered what Sam would think if he saw him with the green hair as he checked his reflection. He didn’t hate it, but he would never admit that out loud. Bianca was currently getting her hair straightened, and Dallas was happily wobbling around in her costume. The mask was still touch and go, since she would only wear it for a while and take it off.

Ms. Tina and Celeste showed up about half an hour previous, both already dressed for the party. Ms. Tina dressed as classic Eartha Kitt Cat Woman, while Celeste chose to be a female Flash.

Dean didn’t care for being airbrushed from the torso up with the white paint all over, but it made him feel better seeing Bianca screaming through it. They were ushered into separate rooms for the final touches. Zabrina’s assistant, Tay, covered Dean’s eyebrows so they looked barely there and helped him insert the grill he’d been fitted for a week prior. From then on, it was nothing but tattoos. Dean hated every time it tickled because he giggled like a school girl, making Tay laugh at him. Towards the end, Zabrina showed up to put the finishing touches on his makeup. Lipstick felt fucking weird, no matter what day of the year it was.

Finally, Zabrina declared him finished, and once his tattoos and paint were declared dry he put on his costume since he could now see B. Checking his reflection in a full body mirror this time, he was astonished. He had been completely transformed. Dean had NEVER, mind you, EVER done anything like this before. Dress up like a Fed, sure. Pretend to be a Holy Father, piece of cake. But this was amazing. He tested the creepy smile out, and found it suit him. Never in a million years would Dean Winchester be caught doing this, he hadn’t dressed up for Halloween since his mother picked out his costume. He’d developed a hard façade long ago that meant he was above having fun this way. But in this universe, he got to be the carefree version of himself that he’d only dreamed of. Castiel’s advice to him rang clear in his ears. ‘Try and enjoy it.’

And so, he did. Tay handed him his cane, completing the already perfect outfit. This could be fun.

He emerged from the guest bedroom (seriously, this suite had four of them, insane) and was greeted by the new group of people he called family.

“Jensen, you look amazing!” Celeste told him, playfully swinging Dallas around so her cape could fly.

“Blame your sister,” He said, not wanting to admit he felt good. Dallas landed on the ground at the sound of his voice, but fear crossed her face when she looked up at him.

She started to cry, full out ‘afraid of Santa Claus’ tears and clung to her aunt as all the adults laughed at her cuteness.

Dean dropped to his knees immediately, laying the cane down and held his arms open for her. “Aw baby, don’t cry! I’m daddy, I’m not gonna hurt you. See?” He promised.

Dallas slowly turned back to him, her tears slowing down. Her pretty little lip pouting as she took uncertain steps toward him. Dean smiled, but the teeth must’ve scared her a little more.

“Come on baby, don’t be scared. Remember? Meeska! Mooska! _Mickey_ Mouse! _M-I-C-K-E-YYYYYY! M-O-U-S-E! It’s the Mickey Mouse clubhouse! Come inside it’s fun inside!_ ” He started to sing the song from her favorite kid’s show at the moment, something they always did together. It always helped her stop crying.

“Dahs Meee!!!!” She sang at the appropriate time and run into his arms, making the adults laugh more. He picked her up and hugged her, careful not to get any of his crazy make up on her costume. She looked so confused, and reached forward to touch his weird teeth.

“Sing,” She ordered, and he complied with a chuckle. After singing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song again she got down, all tears and fear forgotten as she ran to her aunt to make her cape fly some more.

Dean picked up his cane, and headed for the stairs to go see Bianca.

When he entered the room, Zabrina’s other assistant Nikki was helping her into her red and blue ‘Property of Joker’ jacket. Since her back was to him, Dean took a moment to admire the view.

Angels in heaven, she looked sexy. He made a choice, and without even having to think about it, he’d decided to embrace the character and tonight. He’d watched the movie a few times to prepare, and now that it was time the role came naturally to him.

“Harley, Harley, Harley…” He purred in his most Joker-esque voice, making her freeze. The assistant stepped back with a smirk to start packing up her stuff, and Bianca lifted the wooden bat she held in her hand that read ‘Good Night’ to her shoulder as she turned around. Her eyes took him in, devoured him really, and desire was written all over her face. He took in the sight before him, from her fishnet stockings to those tight little shorts, all the way up to her too-small t-shirt that read ‘Daddy’s Lil’ Monster’. Noticing Nikki had already left the room, he slowly closed the door behind him. Her eyes never left his as he slowly stalked over to her. He could almost hear her heart racing as he got closer.

His strong hands gripped her hips and turned her around, so they were both facing the full-length mirror. He tested out that demented grin again, trapping her lustful eyes with his own. Once he was sure he had her attention, he pulled her back to him, making her ass brush against his erection. She audibly gasped, and it only fueled him more. He leaned in to run his nose along her neck, while his hands traveled her beautiful curves.

“Question…” He whispered, and he felt a shudder travel her whole body. “Would you die for me?”

“Yes.” She answers airily without a second thought, making him grip her waist tighter. “No, that’s too easy.” He bites down with the cold grill where her shoulder meets her neck and she gasped even harder. “Would you…live for me?”

“Yes.” She answers again, watching his hand travel down her stomach to rub between her legs. Her eyes flutter closed at the sensation and all to sudden his hand is gone. “Careful,” He says as his hand is gripping her jaw, forcefully, but not too rough. “Desire becomes surrender,” His words whispered directly into her ear, driving her crazy. “Surrender becomes power.” His eyes lock with hers in the mirror, the eye-catching tattoo of a laughing mouth on his hand painted perfectly over hers. “Do you want this?” He asks her, just imagining how wet she is for him. Her responsiveness from before means she is eating this shit up.

He removes his hand and she takes in a breath, somehow trapping his eyes with hers. “I do.”

He gives that signature smile, while smearing her red lipstick with his thumb a bit. He turns her, and kisses her, gripping her face tightly but careful not to mess up the rest of her makeup. He bites at her lip with his grill, making her moan into the passion-fueled kiss. When he pulls away, he adopts the Joker’s demeanor once more, staring into her eyes. “Later…” He smiles. “You’ll show me.”

Her smile is unbelievably equal parts sexy and demented with her current look. And god, does it do things to him. He takes her hand, grabbing his cane as she grabs her bat, and leads them from the room.

When they made it downstairs, B thought it would be fun to take a family photo to post online. She and Dean sat on the floor back to back with their hands handcuffed behind their backs, and gags in their mouths. They both looked at the camera annoyed while Dallas stood behind them in her costume with her mask on, smiling triumphantly. The caption read "The Caped Crusader strikes again! #HappyHalloween #HappyBirthdayB" and Dean posted it to his Instagram. Fifteen minutes later when Bianca's manager Lena finally arrived, the post already had 25k likes and #HappyBirthdayB was trending on Twitter.

“I got you a present for your birthday,” Lena said, smiling. “It’s outside waiting.”

When they arrived downstairs with their security, Bianca lost her shit at the Purple Lamborghini parked out front. “Is that really the car from the movie?” She nearly screamed.

“And it’s yours.” Lena answered with a laugh. “I’ll be in the first SUV, you guys will follow us, and your mom, sister, and Dallas will be in the SUV behind you.”

 

Dean will tell you that his heart belongs to classic cars, and he would never openly admit to the erection he got at the thought of driving that car. Man, being a celebrity is awesome.

After double checking Dallas was okay in her car seat, he and Bianca slowly walked up to the Lamborghini. He ran his hand alongside it, unable to fight the grin on his face. He opened the door for her first, stealing a kiss before she got in, and strolled over to the driver’s side. Placing his cane next to her bat, he closed his eyes in reverence when he started the car and heard the engine purr.

She turned to him, giving him a look from under her lashes that went straight to his dick. “Come on, Puddin’. Do it!”

He laughed as he switched gears and sped off.

Arriving at the party had truly been an affair. The cameras were easily a hundred times worse, but Dean could care less. He pulled up, handed the keys to the waiting valet, and told him he wanted to open her door himself.

When the suicide door rose up revealing her, the flashes increased tenfold. He gave her his hand and helped her out, the appreciative smile on his face more Joker than Dean. But she loved it, rising on her toes to kiss his lips. They walked the red carpet, stopping and posing for pictures as people shouted out questions at them.

But he ignored them all, his eyes were only for his Harley.

When they entered the venue, Dean was amazed at the decorations. Lots of celebrities in incredible costumes, all the while surrounded by realistic skyscrapers and lights.

“Ladies and gentlemen The King and Queen of Gotham have arrived!” The DJ announced and everybody cheered, looking at them. As they made their way over to the VIP area, lots of people complimented their costumes. Dean smiled and shook hands, acting like his normal self. It went unspoken that he was saving Mr. J only for _his_ Harley.

“You guys do not mess around with costumes, man.” Stephen told Dean, clapping him on the back. Dean found that Stephen, who had his own show on the network, was a really great guy. “Happy Birthday, Bianca.” He said, giving her a hug.

“Aw, thank you!” Bianca laughed hugging him back. “You make a badass Batman!” She told him.

Stephen smiled, dusting off his own authentic suit at the compliment. “Seriously, with that jawline, you could play any hero you wanted.” She laughed some more.

“I wouldn’t mind it.” He agreed. “Now go celebrate, before I drag the both of you back to Arhkam.” He said, giving Dean a shove. Dean laughed and gave him a guy hug, then followed Bianca deeper into the dancing crowd.

When they made it to the VIP, Dean read the name hanging above it before giving his wife a knowing smile. “Really? The Iceberg Lounge?” He smirked and she just grinned like the Cheshire cat. He looked further inside and realized all the servers and bartenders were dressed in variations of sexy penguin costumes, the bartenders wearing top hats and monocles. “Who’s the bigger nerd? Me for doing all this or you for recognizing it for what it was?” She answered with snark.

They were greeted by Jared and Gen. Jared was indeed wearing a Green Arrow costume while Gen was dressed as the Black Canary.

“Not a word.” Jared threatened, handing him a drink.

Dean held his hands up in surrender as her smiled. “I won’t say anything if you won’t.”

“Agreed.” They laughed, and clinked glasses.

They found Ms. Tina and Celeste were with Dallas on the private dance floor, dancing their hearts out. Well, Dallas was just jumping around. She immediately ran into Bianca’s arms and the three of them posed for photos.

After the pictures, the three of them went to dance. Dean was by no means a great dancer, but with his favorite girls he was willing. Dallas adorably tried to do every move her mommy showed her, making Dean’s heart swell to watch.

Around two hours into the party they realized it was Dallas’ bedtime, so Ms. Tina volunteered to babysit so that her parents could enjoy the evening. As they were hugging her and kissing her goodnight, Lena came over to their booth. “It’s almost show time.”

“Show time?” Dean asked, looking to Bianca. She scoffed with her signature eye roll. “The label threw this party, you can believe the label wants people to have a taste of the new album.”

“But it’s your birthday.” He protested, and she just smiled.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind doing one song. Besides,” She said, leaning closer to whisper in his ear over the loud music. “I want you to keep your eyes on the one with the pigtails.”  She winked at him as she leaned back and twirled her hair around her finger, loving the demented smile he gave her. She chanced a glance over her shoulder and caught him watching her ass walking away. She winked and blew him a kiss that went straight to his cock. That woman was gonna be the death of him.

The lights dimmed as the DJ stopped the music. “Yall ready for her new single from the official Suicide Squad soundtrack!” He asked the crowd, and they screamed at the top of their lungs.

The huge screen above the stage lit up with a countdown, and the crowd got hyper. The lights dimmed, and her dancers took the stage wearing the traditional Harley Quinn costume with the hat and bells.

The music started as she descended from the ceiling singing upside down, her long pig tails swinging below her.

 _“I need a gangsta_  
To love me better  
Than all the others do  
To always forgive me  
Ride or die with me  
That's just what gangsters do”

Dean was in a trance watching her perform. He’d seen videos, but it was nothing like seeing it in person. Her voice was hypnotizing, and her movements were magnetic. She was a different person, an absolute vixen on stage.

The dancers freed her, and they began the rest of the routine. The song was haunting, chilling, and incredibly sexy. The choreography was more of strip tease than anything, with her using her bat as a prop while her dancers used Harley Quinn’s signature mallet. When her eyes searched the crowd they found his, and Dean was trapped. He had no idea why, but the Joker’s smile graced his lips.

Harley’s smile graced Bianca’s face as she sang, and suddenly it felt like she was performing just for him.

 _“My freak-ness is on the loose_  
And running all over you  
Please, take me to places that nobody, nobody knows  
You got me hooked up on the feeling  
You got me hanging from the ceiling  
Got me up so high I'm barely breathing  
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me, don't let me go”

His mind ran rampant with the possibilities of all the things he was going to do to her later. How in the world was he lucky enough to be going home with her?

When the song ended, the spell was mostly broken. She was surprised by her sister bringing out a cake onstage for her. Everyone sang happy birthday and she blew out the candles. The DJ brought back the music as they left the stage.

When she made it back to the VIP, she found Dean lounging in his same booth with a half empty glass of whiskey on the table. She slowly approached him, the tension between the two of them buzzing as their eyes undressed one another. When she slid into the booth next to him, he pulled her up into his lap so she could feel his hard cock. Her eyes widened and slowly darkened at the sensation, making her arousal spike even further.

She leaned in to kiss his lips and received his cheek when he turned his head. “Not now.” He told her, and finished off his whiskey. She pouted and he moved her hair so he could nibble on her ear. “But _soon_.” He promised, and that crazy smile graced her lips again. “Soon, I’m gonna make you _scream_ so loud you won’t be able to _speak_. I’m gonna make you scream _so hard_ , the entire hotel will know who you _belong_ to.” He felt great satisfaction at the shudder she couldn’t control.

“Oh, but you want it _now_ don’t you…” He continued, resting a hand on her cheek. “You wet for me baby? You ready?” She could only nod.

“You _need_ it, don’t you?” He purred as his eyes studied her face, the warmth of her skin, the hunger in her eyes. She nodded again. “Yeah, and you can feel how I need you too.” He spoke against her lips, making his dick twitch beneath her to drive the point home.

“You’d let me fuck you right here, wouldn’t you?” He said, gripping her thigh tightly. “In front of all these people…”

“Yes, Mr. J.” She swallowed audibly at the sensation of his nose running along her neck again like he wanted to devour her.

He laughed in her ear, nailing it because he’d practiced it in private (it was a judgement-free zone, he was sitting in a safe-circle, and your judgement couldn’t judge him—thank you very much). He licked her ear sending more shivers down her spine as he whispered. “If you weren’t so crazy, I’d think you were insane.”

She giggled sexily and bit her bottom lip. His hand continued caressing her thigh, before he gripped so tight it was bordering on painful and grit his teeth at her. “ _Harley, Harley, Harley_ …” He sang the same way he did earlier when he first saw her. “You belong…to _me_. You’re _mine_. The only eyes to see _this_ …” His hand slowly trailed to the inside of her thighs, just shy of where she wanted him. “Is me.”

She licked her lips, his eyes following the circuit of her tongue. “Yours.” She said.

She stood up seductively, grabbing his hand with her eyes daring him from under those long, pretty lashes. “You comin’ or what?”

He never knew it would be a kink of his, but for some reason hearing her speaking in that voice was doing things to him. Her favorite fantasy was slowly becoming his own. Dean did the laugh again, and slowly stood to follow her. They left the party meant for her hand in hand, not paying it a second glance or thought.

The ride back to their hotel was fast, and the kissing and removal of each other’s clothes was hectic and feverish. Dean’s hands were everywhere, and he possessed her mouth as if he needed her lips more than he needed air. The minute the elevator doors shut behind them he’d thrown his jacket, and his only concern was her skin on his. He pinned her to the wall with his body, knocking the wind out of her but she didn’t complain, too busy running her fingers through his vibrant green hair. He made her moan when he picked her up, lifting her hips exactly where he wanted her as her legs wrapped around his waist. Neither of them had bothered with the lights, leaving only the city’s landscape and the moonlight as their only light source from the panoramic view the glass wall of the suite afforded them.

His lips finally left hers to explore her neck and her now exposed chest. The alien feeling of his grill only gave her more pleasure as he bit at her, marking her as his own. “Fuck, that feels so good.” She whimpered, grinding her hips against his still clothed erection. He recaptured her lips as his hand ventured between them to free himself, and before she could take her next breath he drove his dick into her. She cried out for him, and his head fell forward on her shoulder. He was still as he tried to process the feeling, she was so warm and so wet and so tight…everything he’d been craving since he saw her in those shorts. Just for him. His hand gripped her throat on just this side of choking her and he looked up to catch her eye in the faint light.

“Baby…what are you doing to me?” His gruff voice cut between them as his lips ghosted over hers. Her hands came up to find purchase on his face, roughly pulling it forward to slid his lips across hers. She rolled her hips, drawing a growl from deep within him. He freed her neck and used both his hands to grip her ass, walking them further into the suite as she attacked his mouth.

He laid her down on the floor in the middle of the living room overlooking the view, where the soft rug and bottle of champagne on ice he’d requested were waiting. He stood up and removed his pants, going slower than normal because of the way she was watching him.

She sat up, getting to her knees to kneel in front of him. She looked up at him through her lashes, and the sight of it made his dick twitch.

“Tell me what you _want_ , Harley…” He said her name like a prayer, and her eyes focused on what was directly in front of her as she licked her lips.

“I wanna taste you puddin’. Pretty please, with sugar on top?” She begged, pouting her lip with her eyes wide. He laughed again and ran his hands through his hair. “Oh baby…” He reached down to tip her chin up with his finger. “I could never say no to you.” He smiled showing all his teeth and she returned the gesture, before obscenely licking at his cock like a lollipop.

Dean threw his head back, his eyes rolling shut under her ministrations as the wet sounds of her mouth filled the room. When he finally reached the point that he’d able to open his eyes and watch her without coming, he realized he may have pulled the trigger too soon. It was certainly a sight to behold. His hands reach down to grip her ponytails tightly, and he had to bite his lip at the sight of her looking up at him. He whispered praises that only drove her further, soliciting her to work twice as hard.

Right before he exploded he pulled her off, ignoring her sad whine. “Now, now, don’t fret. There’ll be time for that _later_.” He promised, his creepy voice turning her on more. He forced her on her back, pinning her wrists in his hands as he hovered above her between her open legs. “That uh… _song_ you were singin’ earlier…was that for me?” He rocked into her, his cock sliding against her but not finding purchase.

Her hips lifted as she audibly moaned, but he refused to give her what she wanted just yet. “Everything is for you, Mr. J.” She answered with a breathy voice, thick with desire.

“It’s kind of catchy…I want you to sing it for me.” He licked a long stripe up her neck, driving her crazy.

“Right now?” She asked, confused. She yelped when she felt his teeth bite down hard on her shoulder. “What do _you_ think?” He said rhetorically, lifting so he could look her dead in the eye. “And **don’t**. **Miss**. **A _note_**.”

The moment she started singing he latched onto her nipple, pinning her down with his weight so her hips couldn’t move. He licked and tugged, firing her up then moving over to the other to show it the same attentions. Her hips fought against him, trying to find some of the friction she so desperately needed.

Suddenly he was inside her to the hilt, his swift entry catching her completely off guard. Her voice cracked into the loudest moan yet, while her walls squeezed him in the warmest, most welcoming hug he’d ever received. He pulled out until only his tip breached her, though it killed him to do so.

He laughed disturbingly right into her ear, giving her chills. “Now _sweetheart_ , we had a _deal_ …” He kissed again, this time more forcefully as he bit at her swollen lip. “I want you to sing it again. _Louder_.” His unsettling smile went straight to her core.

He sat up, freeing her wrists as he sat back on his feet. He grabbed her hips and pulled her lower half up onto his lap, pushing himself even deeper inside her as she sang out for him. His hands grew tighter as he pounded into her, in a trance as he watched the way her tits bounced. Soon her voice gave in to the pleasure, her song forgotten, and it seemed he didn’t mind.

“Tell them who you belong to Harley!” He yelled through his teeth, barely heard over her own enjoyment.

“You! You, J! All yours, always!” She screamed, eyes shut in ecstasy.

He grabbed her hands and lifted her up, switching their positions so she was on top. He wiped at her forehead, moving her hair behind her ear as he took in her features. “So beautiful…all mine.” He said reverently, running his thumb along her lip before he plunged it in for her to suck. She did so happily with a sexy smirk, making a show for him by swiping her tongue for him to see.

She reached between them, guiding him into her slowly. She was unable to keep her eyes open at the full sensation, her forehead met his as his hands crept to her waist. She tried to lift up but the vice grip on her hips prevented her. She opened her eyes to find him already staring deeply at her. “What are you doing to me?” She asked dreamily.

“I asked you first.” He smiled cockily, and nibbled her bottom lip. “You told me…you would live for me…did you mean it?”

She nibbled his lip back. “I already do.”

He slowly laid back, taking in the glorious sight above him. Her hair was messy, her red lipstick smeared to hell, and she looked totally wreaked, but to him…she looked absolutely beautiful. The pride he felt inside was brimming because he was the one to do that to her. He was the only one got to drive her crazy, who made her feel this way, the only one to ever get to see this. He removed his hands, freeing her hips while bringing them up to rest behind his head. “Show me.” He challenged.

The smile he was rewarded only excited him for the great things to come.

And for the rest of the night, they both did. Frequently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me, both Ledger's and Leto's versions of Joker were sexy. What does that say about me then? I dunno...hope you enjoyed it lol.
> 
> I loved the VIP lounge nod, and also the cameos.
> 
> Sound off below!


	11. Dean - Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Dean's birthday, and Bianca has a huge surprise planned for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief, and full of more fluff. I know, I know, kill me later. Let's see how many members of the Beyhive can spot those Easter eggs tho!

**FAIR WARNING: I changed Jensen’s birthday to December 22 nd. Get with it, or get lost.**

**Chapter Ten: Dean – Surprise**

 

Dean had never really been one for birthdays. Like most holidays, birthdays (especially his) were never a big deal to him, not since he was a kid. He’d always tried his damnedest to make Sammy’s birthday special when they were younger, but John never made a big fuss about the matter. He would always say that there were more important things, lives at stake, and he was right. So whenever his special day rolled around each year, he usually dragged Sam off to some seedy bar to drink until he forgot it was happening.

And that changed a bit when Bianca came into his life. She knew how he was, so she wouldn’t do anything too over the top, just surprise him with a warm pie in a flavor he’d never tried before. And he’d begun to look forward to whichever pie she chose to bake him in the short amount of time they were together.

But that was in his universe. In this universe, his wife held nothing back. He’d learned that Jensen’s (meaning his) birthday was coming up meaning for weeks she’d been buzzing around with excitement, constantly on the phone and her laptop planning. She swore up and down she hadn’t been trying to outdo what he did for her birthday back in October, when he’d planned out an entire day of awesome since it was the day before Halloween. He tried to no avail to reel her back in, not wanting her to go crazy with themes since it was just three days before Christmas. But she promised she had everything under control, making him inclined to trust her.

So, after numerous phone calls with their close family and friends, the trip she’d been planning was confirmed. They were flying to an undisclosed location a week before Christmas, and they weren’t flying back until after the New Year. Dean tried to play it cool, but her giddiness was rubbing off on him and he was getting into the spirit.

On the 16th he woke up jittery like a kid on Christmas morning, ready to get to the airport. Bianca laughed at his enthusiasm over her cup of hot cocoa as they ate a quick breakfast, still unwilling to tell him what their destination would be. Dean tried to get the secret out of her every way he could think of, but he couldn’t break her. She had an iron will, and even though it drove him crazy, he loved her for it.

“Is it an island?” He guessed for literally the millionth time since she’d told him about her secret plan.

“Nope!” She chuckled.

“It a castle?” Dallas asked, playing along with Dean’s question game making them both laugh.

“See? You’re corrupting our baby with your impatience, Jay. Eat your breakfast, Dal.” Bianca said to him, while helping Dallas with her oatmeal.

Dean whined around his forkful of eggs. “I can’t help it, it’s driving me crazy! You gotta tell me B, I’m going nuts.”

“I swear,” She took another sip of cocoa. “You’re just a big kid on the inside, aren’t you?”

“I blame you!” He smiled, getting up to clear their dishes so they could leave.

The paparazzi at the airport were annoying but manageable, having grown in size since their night on the town for Bianca’s birthday. He hadn’t expected the influx of interest in them when they’d decided to dress up for Halloween, but the renewed interest hadn’t become unbearable yet. For him, it was easy for him to forget the cameras when she was by his side.

And the surprises kept coming when she led them through the airport, not to the normal airline they usually took but to the private airstrip.

Dean just froze, he’d never seen private jet before. Through the large glass terminal windows, it looked sleek and amazing. He was speechless. His awe was interrupted when he realized she was talking to him.

“Before you even try it, all of the flight crew including the pilot have been instructed not to give you any clues about where we’re going.” She winked at him and proceeded to walk, Dallas walking beside her holding her hand.

When they boarded the small plane, it was just as she said, no one would tell him anything. He couldn’t be upset about it though, once he got to look around. Plush seats, a mini bar, she told him there was even a bed in the back of the plane. Was this what the other side truly lived like? Dean had gotten a small taste of it when planning her birthday surprise, having working credit cards and a cushy bank account this time around was certainly a step up. The fact that his wife was an international superstar didn’t hurt either. Never in his wildest dreams did he think this would be his life. He certainly never imagined he’d get to live any of this being on the road with Sam.

Bianca was checking her phone when his head finally stopped spinning, and she was surprised when he grabbed her face and kissed her for all he was worth.

They were both breathless when he pulled back. “Thank you,” He panted.

She just smiled that beautiful smile only meant for him. “We’re just getting started, Jay.” She said smoothly.

He wasn’t left much time to ponder what she meant, because more faces appeared in the doorway of the plane. His entire family, including the brother and sister he’d spoken on the phone so much with, all beamed at him and gave him hugs. It wasn’t as awkward as he anticipated, fearing questions from Jensen’s childhood he didn’t have answers to would come up, but to his relief they didn’t. It just felt like a reunion with really good people.

As they were telling him and B about their flight up from Texas and fawning over Dallas, more faces appeared. B’s mother Ms. Tina, and sister Celeste had arrived. More hugging commenced, and Dean looked around with worry they wouldn’t have enough seats for everyone. But he looked at his wife, cool as a cucumber, and he knew she had things under control.

Just when he started to look around at the flight attendants and wonder when they would take off, the last few faces popped up. Jared and Gen arrived with their kids, and Dean got really excited.

“What the hell man, you told me you were going to New York for Christmas!” He yelled as he hugged Jared, making him laugh.

“It wasn’t a total lie,” Jared conceded. “After your birthday we’re going to fly there to spend Christmas with Gen’s parents.”

“And where are you flying from, exactly?” Dean asked smartly, hoping to catch Jared slipping.

But Jared didn’t fall for it. “Nuh-uh, you’re not getting me in trouble man. B said she would glitter bomb my entire trailer if I spilled the beans.”

“Damn straight,” Bianca chuckled, before addressing everyone. “If anybody spills the beans about where we’re going, I promise to personally make you regret it. You won’t know how, you won’t know when, but revenge is always a dish best served cold.”

Everyone laughed and settled in, and after the luggage was stowed they took off into the sky.

Dean’s heart nearly leapt from his chest when he looked out the window and saw they were landing in Vegas. Sure, he’d been multiple times, but never like this. When they landed, she’d placed a blindfold and his noise canceling earphones on him so he wouldn’t get tipped off about which hotel they were staying in.

Feeling a little foolish he let her lead him blindly, he stumbled every time he missed a curb or got into an elevator. When she finally removed the head phones and told him he still couldn’t peek, he had to rub his pink ears, making everybody laugh.

“Okay, are you excited?” She asked, and he just laughed.

“What do you think?” He chuckled, making everyone laugh harder.

“Then I guess you’ve suffered enough. Go ahead Dallas.” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“Kay, ev’ryone. We count to three.” Dallas tried to lift her voice like her mom had, and it was just adorable. “One, two, three!”

“SURPRISE!” They screamed in unison as Dallas pulled off his blindfold, finally revealing where they were.

“Holy shit!” Dean yelled, causing the laugher around him to rise. They were in Caesars Palace. _The_ Caesars Palace. He couldn’t believe it. He looked all around him, out at the view he was facing, and he was speechless. “This is…I can’t even…” He had no words.

“Happy Birthday, Jay.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, before Dallas did the same, clapping her hands. He immediately pulled Bianca closer, kissing her like he’d done before on the plane while Dallas continued to clap. He then took Dallas from her arms and spun her around, her tinkling laugher bringing joy to his heart.

“Did you help mommy with my surprise? Did you help trick Daddy?” He smiled as he tickled her, careful not to drop her squirming body while she wiggled.

“Okay, now that the cat’s out of the bag,” Gen said, making everyone laugh. “B, this is beautiful, but it’s too much.”

“She’s right, sweetie.” Jensen’s mom chimed in. “You didn’t have to do all of this—”

“Don’t even sweat it, not another word.” Bianca cut her off sweetly. “I invited everyone to stay because I wanted Jay to be surrounded by people he loves for his birthday. So, this is my Christmas gift to all of you. Merry Christmas!”

That night, the grandmothers volunteered to watch all the kids while the adults dressed up and went down to the casino to have some fun. They spent the evening in the VIP for high rollers, and Bianca ordered a few bottles of his favorite vintage whiskey and cigars for him and all the guys, while the women enjoyed vintage wine. She took videos on her phone of him drunkenly singing Lynyrd Skynyrd, holding up his satin black bag of chips and pouring them on the poker table, having a good time. He looked so happy.

The day of Dean’s ‘birthday’, Bianca asked everyone to get dressed up because she’d made reservations for a big, fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant on the strip. As he looked around the long table in the dimly lit room, he felt glad that pretty much everyone was as uncomfortable with the fanciness of this restaurant as he was. The menu was in French for Christ’s sake, and the prices weren’t even listed. He feared for the moment the waiter would take his order, knowing he was doomed to be embarrassed.

It was a pleasant and truly unexpected surprise however, when instead of taking everyone’s orders a line of waiters walked out with cans of beer, scotch, wine, and all sorts of appetizers he loves. Soft pretzels and beer cheese, boneless hot wings, mini corn dogs, and more. Everyone was given a heavy-loaded cheeseburger for the entrée, with various toppings being passed around and endless, bottomless flavors of fries. Dean was lit up like a Christmas tree, so excited to enjoy all his favorite foods. He looked to Bianca, seeing her eyes dancing with humor. She pranked him, and she’d pranked him _good_.

The rest of the dinner party felt the same as him, completely caught off guard by the greasy food. They all chided Bianca for pulling their legs, but Bianca just basked in the satisfaction of pulling one over on such a large group of people. When everyone was finishing up their messy dinners, the waiters came out carrying an extra-large pie with candles in it, singing happy birthday.

Merrily singing with everyone else, Dean was happy when Dallas climbed into his lap to help him blow out his candles. After they’d made a wish together, more normal size pies in his other favorite flavors were brought out to sample. The biggest one was the best apple pie he’d ever tasted, and the moan he’d made after eating the first bite was downright filthy.

They all went back up to the villa after dinner for drinks, and Dean was unsure what else to expect when Bianca called for everyone’s attention by tapping her glass.

“Everyone, I’d like to make a toast.” She stood up and smiled as the room quieted. “I don’t really know where to start, um…I’d like to thank everyone for coming. I know some of you only got the call the day before, and you had to drop a lot of things just to come. And this wouldn’t be anything without all of you here. You’re here because you’re special to Jay, therefore you’re special to me. Anybody he loves, I love.” She sighed, pausing for a moment to find the words as she turned to him. “This villa, the flight…this whole trip is nothing compared to what you’ve done for not only me but everyone here. You taught me so many things I didn’t even know when we first started dating. You taught me how to be a woman. You taught me how to live. You taught me…how to be a friend. And you’ve given me so much in life, this is…” She gestured to the entire suite. “It’s not enough. It’s not enough I can give you.”

Dean was completely floored. Emotions overcame him as he watched her emotions take over her. Everything she was saying…no one had ever said anything like that for him before. He thought kind words like that would only be spoken at his funeral, and maybe not even then. He could count on both hands the amount of times he’d ever been emotional enough to cry in his adult life. The hardest time was when she lost the baby, and consequently he watched her walk out of his life doing nothing to stop her. But this…having her here now, saying all of this to him…he could care less about the tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

 Her voice cracked, and her eyes started to water. She cleared her throat to speak. “I just want you to be happy, and every year…I’m even more in love with you. And I will spend every day of my life with you. Happy birthday. And I thank God for you every day. To Jensen!”

“To Jensen!” The family announced, before taking a drink in his honor and applauding raucously because that was a hell of a speech.

He immediately jumped up to wrap her in his arms, holding her as close as humanly possible. His urgency made the audience fill the room with their laugher once again. She finally pulled away from him, all smiles as usual.

“Now that the toast is out of the way, Dallas and I have your final birthday present.”

“There’s more?” He asked comically, making everyone laugh even harder.

She grabbed Dallas and walked over to the grand piano, placing the little girl in her lap. “You ready to play for Daddy?” She asked and Dallas nodded.

She placed Dallas’ index finger on the correct key and Dallas surprised everyone by playing on her own. Only four notes, but soon Bianca joined in, playing the tune of ‘Heart and Soul’ along with her.

Just when everyone was about to applaud, B started singing to the song.

_“Jay, Jay, Jay_

_I fall in love with you ev - ry day_

_I wanna wish you happy birth – day_

_And tell you we’ve got a baby on the way…_

_Jayyy”_

Her last note trailed off as he absorbed what he said.

“From me an’ mommy, daddy!” Dallas said as she clapped and cheered.

His eyes grew wide as it dawned on them. They’re having another baby. _He_ , _Dean Winchester_ , was going to be a father again.

“Another baby?” His voice squeaked, sounding foreign to his own ears.

“Another baby.” She nodded with a smile.

He rushed over to her, scooping up she and Dallas both and spinning them around as the room cheered.

When he finally put them down, he grabbed Dallas and held her close. “Did you hear that baby girl? You’re gonna be a big sister!”

“Big sister?” She repeated in confusion.

“Yeah. In a couple months, you’re gonna have a little brother or little sister. Would you like that?”

The room quieted as she contemplated the question.

“Yes. But I not share my toys.”

She received a kiss on both cheeks from both her parents for her cuteness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved it, I hope you did too. Sound off below! :)


	12. Chapter Eleven: Bianca - Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and Bianca clear the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy! It's still technically Friday somewhere, which means I'm posting on time! Look at me! Lol.

**Chapter Eleven: Bianca - Let Me Go  
**

Bianca woke to the feeling someone was watching her. She blinked her eyes slowly, willing them to focus, as her brain processed the present. She felt warm, ridiculously so, and a foreign weight resting across her waist. When she was finally able to see, she noticed two small forest green eyes looking back at her. Her eyes searched the small light caramel face, noticing the small sprinkle of freckles under the eyes and the curly sandy brown hair on top of the head. What caught her eye the most was the crooked, mischievous smile with a few teeth missing. She knew that devilish smile anywhere, even if it was newly missing a front tooth.

“Are you awake yet?” It was meant to be a whisper, she was sure, but it was loud. Luckily not loud enough to wake the person sleeping beside her.

“I am now.” She whispered back, and sat up to swing her feet over the bed. When she did, she rested a gentle hand against the prominent bump in her belly, realizing she got up too fast. She looked over her shoulder, and saw the unmistakable back of Dean, passed out on his stomach, with his arm still touching her. “Come on,” She said quietly, “We don’t wanna wake him up.”

She allowed herself to be towed away by the hand, the little boy leading her towards the steps. She couldn’t control her laughter at his rambunctiousness, he was very eager for her to hurry. Once they made it downstairs, the sight that greeted her in the kitchen surprised her.

Sam was wearing her frilly ‘I got cake by the pound’ apron and making pancakes. The little boy immediately ran over into his arms and Sam lifted him high above his head.

“Uncle Sam!” The little boy exclaimed, happy for the rocket ship ride.

“DJ! Do you have to fly to the moon every time you see me?” Sam laughed.

“Yeah! To infinity, and beyond!” DJ yelled back.

Sam pulled him in close for hugs and tickles, before turning to you. “I’m sorry, I hope he didn’t wake you. I sent him up there _just to check if you were still sleeping_.” He said sternly at the little boy, before poking him in the belly making him laugh.

“It’s fine.” Bianca smiled. She felt a kick in her abdomen that went straight to her bladder. Her hands immediately flew to the bump, the foreign sensation catching her completely off guard.

“Mommy, are you okay?” DJ asked in worry.

“Yeah DJ, I’m fine. Your little brother is using my bladder as a bean bag, that’s all.” She said warmly.

“Ooh, that sounds fun! Can I do it too?” DJ asked with the wonder of a four-year-old, making Bianca and Sam laugh.

Dean arrived sleepily in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her center to hold her stomach. He was shirtless, barefoot with nothing but pajama pants on, and bed head like you wouldn’t believe. He kissed her cheek and headed straight for the fridge.

“Daddy!” DJ yelled, squirming so Sam would put him down and he could run to his father.

Dean was already prepared, arms wide open for the incoming assault. He embraced DJ in a bearhug, lifting his little feet off the floor as he swung him from side to side. “How’s my favorite Space Ranger?” Dean asked cheerfully, indulging in DJ’s current obsession with the Toy Story movies.

Dean continued to tickle DJ in his arms, much worse than Sam had, and Bianca was worried he might wet himself he was laughing so hard.

Before it was too late Dean let him back down, giving him a kiss on the forehead. It was then that Bianca noticed how strikingly similar they both looked. Sure, he had her nose, but DJ had his father’s eyes, chin, and devilish smile. With her lips, he was certainly going to be a heartbreaker.

Bianca took in the cheerful moment in front of her, hoping to keep the happy scene in her memory banks forever. Her entire family was here—Dean had the weekend off from the garage he worked at, she’d finally taken her maternity leave from the office she clerked at, Sam was back from a hunt after being on the road for two months, and the baby cooking away inside her was healthy as can be. Not to mention her son, her little ray of sunshine, was turning five in a few days. She had everything she ever asked for, everything she’d ever wanted, and she couldn’t be happier. She knew her eyes were watering, but she could always blame her unexpected burst of emotions on pregnancy hormones. Her eyes fell to her husband as she toyed with the ring on her left hand.

Dean turned around to go in the fridge, bending over to peek in and check his options. And if she admired his backside in those flannel pants, that was her business. “Babe, what do you feel like? We got water, milk, apple juice, orange juice…Bianca? Bianca! **BIANCA**!”

 

Her eyes snapped open as her heart jumped, pulling her forcefully from her dream. She looked around in confusion, realizing she was in her bedroom. She could still see the dark sky through her window, meaning it was early in the morning. But where did that voice come from?

Her eyes found the star of her dream standing in her doorway, carrying a plate of sandwiches and orange juice. She took in his appearance as he put them down on the nightstand, he was shirtless like he’d been in her dream and his hair was just as messy but his face…his face seemed less sure and his eyes danced with nerves. He slowly approached her, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed.

“I made you a snack…I’m sure you must be hungry after the day you had yesterday.” He mumbled, his voice uncertain.

She glanced back down at the food, then back up to his face. She still hadn’t spoken, so his nerves forced him to fill the silence.

“You uh…you gave me quite the scare last night. I mean, not just when you held a loaded gun in my face, but…when I found you last night. Do you remember anything?”

She sat up against her pillows and looked down at her hands. “I don’t remember much…I can remember coming home after killing the siren. I remember being really cold and you picking me up. That’s about it.” She said softly. “Dean…I’m sorry about what James made me do. All those things he said, you never should’ve had to hear them. I never wanted you to know—”

“Bianca, please don’t apologize.” He cut her off. His eyes were closed as he took a steadying breath. “Please believe me, you have nothing to be sorry about. And I’m not just talking about last night.”

“Dean, you don’t have to—” She tried, but he wouldn’t let her.

“Please, just let me finish. The siren from last night, the miscarriage, I handled all of it the wrong way. When you lost the baby…” His voice broke as he fought to maintain control of his emotions. “We were supposed to grieve together. And we didn’t because of me. Anytime I’ve lost something…my mom, my dad, Sam, Bobby, Cass…hell, my own life…I’ve always dealt with the aftermath on my own. That was supposed to change when I found you. When we fell in love, it stopped being just me against the world. I was supposed to be there for you like you were for me. And I forgot that. I reverted to the guy I was before you came into my life, the guy that pushed away everything that mattered so he wouldn’t know what it felt like to lose it. And I’m sorry.”

Anger filled her veins as she gritted her teeth, refusing to look at him through the tears falling from her eyes. “Last night…I acted like a giant dick. I knew that you could handle the siren because I’ve seen you take down worse a hundred times before, but…in the back of my mind it just didn’t matter because that guy was a threat. And after not having you for so long…I just couldn’t lose you again, not to him. He was everything I wasn’t and the things he said…it sounded like he was everything you wanted me to be. It’s so fucking stupid, but I was jealous of a friggin’ monster. When I had to watch him touch you, watch him hold you in the parking lot…I lost my shit. Then when you got infected and held pointed a gun at my chest…when he was kissing you and…” He stumbled, unable to say the words out loud.  “I was ready to scorch the earth.”

He rubbed his face, trying to forget the rage he felt in that moment last night. “What I’m trying to say is…there aren’t enough apologies in the world to show you how sorry I am. For everything. And I could scream from the top of a mountain how much I love you until my face turned blue and my lungs gave out, but it still wouldn’t be enough to make a difference. I just needed you to know…I love you. And even with all the stuff that happened between us, I still love you. I know it’s not enough and you might never let me make it up to you…but I’m still going to beg for a chance.”

He was finally able to look at her once he was done. What he saw was her hands shaking in her lap and her jaw trembling in anger.

“Get out.” She mumbled.

“Bianca please,” He begged, reaching for her hand.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” She yelled, snatching her hand away. She jumped to her feet to get away and face him. “For so long I imagined this moment in my mind! For so long I wanted to hear you say this to me…I’ve cried for _so long_ …and I’m _tired_.” She was full on crying, holding her center as she wept. “I wanted to hate you. I wanted you to cry the way you made me cry, feel the way you made me feel, and now…I just want it to stop. I want all of it stop, and I want it to be over. Right when I was ready to move on, to forget about it all, you and your fucking brother roll into town and fuck up my life all over again!”

She was yelling herself hoarse. “YOU LEFT ME! YOU PUSHED ME AWAY AND YOU BLAMED ME FOR SOMETHING I HAD NO POWER OVER! I LOST THE ONLY THING I’VE EVER WANTED MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF AND YOU PUNISHED ME FOR IT! YOU STOPPED LOVING ME! DEAN, YOU **_BROKE_** ME! I WAS BREAKING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, PIECE BY PIECE, AND YOU DID NOTHING TO STOP IT! NOTHING TO SAVE ME! YOU STOPPED CARING, AND WHEN I LEFT YOU DIDN’T COME AFTER ME LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD. YOU STOP TRYING, YOU GAVE UP ON ME! GAVE UP ON US! AND NOW HERE YOU ARE, BEGGING ME TO GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE? TELLING ME YOU LOVE ME, THAT YOU NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME—BEGGING ME TO FORGET ALL THE FOUL SHIT YOU’VE DONE? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, DEAN WINCHESTER, AND THE IMPALA YOU RODE INTO TOWN. DID YOU EVER CARE FOR ME AT ALL? COULD YOU REALLY HAVE CARED ABOUT ME AND BROKE MY HEART THE WAY YOU DID? IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE, YOU COULD NEVER HURT THEM THE WAY YOU HURT ME. YOU NEVER REALLY LOVED—”

“STOP!” Dean yelled back, jumping to his feet. His eyes squared as he took her in. “Now that’s where I draw the line. You can yell at me, call me all the names you want and tell me what a huge walking piece of shit I am, but don’t _EVER_ say I didn’t love you then. That I don’t love you, _NOW_. I may have suppressed it and kept it bottled up inside to make you think I didn’t, but I _never_ stopped loving you. I couldn’t then, and I refuse to now. I let my pride get in the way too many times in my life, and I refuse to let it happen here. Back then, I let it stop me from stopping you from walking out that door. I let it stop me from pulling you into my arms when you cried and wiping your tears away. From telling you how much you mean to me, and how dark my life is without you in it. But I won’t let it stop me anymore.”

He walked around the bed to stand in front her of her. She saw how hard he was crying, how red his face was, and she realized she had never really seen Dean so emotional before. She audibly gasped when he fell to his knees before her, looking up at her from beneath his long lashes.

She was finally stunned into silence, listening to what he had to say. “Bianca Clarke, the day you walked out of my life…you took the light with you. There hasn’t been a moment that I haven’t thought about you, or hated myself for losing you. You are the only person in this world who gets me, and last woman I will ever love. The morning you told me you were pregnant, that was the first time in a long time I truly prayed. I begged whoever was listening to let it be real, to just let us have this one. Just one time, for us to be happy. To let us be the lucky ones for once. The night you lost the baby…I cried harder than I’ve ever cried in my life. I just knew it was because of me, because everything that I touch…that I _care_ about…eventually turns to ash. But the night you walked away…I don’t have words to describe the feeling of losing a piece of your soul. You’re my soulmate, B. No matter where you go, no matter who you’re with…you will always carry my heart with you. It’s yours for good, and I don’t want it back.”

He dropped to his knees and hung his head as he looked down at the floor. “You could tell me go back to hell…shit, you could tell me that hell and purgatory were too good for me…but I would still love you Bianca. I won’t stop. I don’t deserve you but I want to be with you. Forever. I want…no, I _need_ you. And I will **_never_** stop fighting for you.”

He was surprised when he saw her take a step forward, and felt her arms embrace him. He wept into her stomach as she cradled his head, running her fingers through his hair as he squeezed her waist tighter.

She leaned back as she placed a hand under his jaw, prompting him to stand up. Her bottom lip trembled as she searched his face.

He was yet again surprised when she punched him in the jaw, the force rocking him so hard he staggered back a couple steps. He held his jaw tenderly, trying to mask how much pain he was actually in.

“I deserved that.” He said roughly, trying not to move his jaw.

She only nodded before she pulled him in, kissing him softly on the lips. Pain forgotten, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in as close as he was capable, needing to feel her to believe this was really happening.

She pulled away and searched his face again, using his eyes to search his soul for any lies or half-truths. She found none. Instead she rested her forehead against his, eyes closed in emotion. “Dean…I won’t survive if you break me again. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you like I did before.” She whispered, her voice vulnerable.

“I swear to you, on my life…I will spend the rest of my days, however many they be…proving to you that I’m not going away ever again.” He whispered back. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the man that you deserve, and I will show you with every moment that I’m with you, how grateful I am for you. I’ll make sure you feel my love for you every night before we go to sleep, and I will thank God every morning I get to wake up next to you. I swear it.” He vowed.

Bianca will never admit that she swooned a bit at his words, so she chose to kiss him for all she was worth instead. They embraced each other tightly as they slowly sank on the bed together. Holding each other, her lips locked with his silently pleading with him. Her fingers traced the paths they’d practiced long ago, tingling with the mission to confirm he was real and he was with her. That he wanted her again. He chose wisely not to mention the streams of tears falling from her closed eyes watering their kiss. His own hands worked to pull her in as tightly and close as possible, to revel in the feeling of her skin against his own. Her hair was different, her skin a little rougher with scars, but this was his wife and his heart was calling out to her. He tried with everything inside him to force his all his feelings into the kiss, the touches, and the sounds he gave her.

The kiss broke when he reached between them to pull up her shirt, forcing her on her back so he could explore. Though his brain (and his body) wanted him to kiss every inch of her, his soul forced him to focus his attention on her stomach. To give reverence to the place where the physical manifestation of their love once called home, as he should have done all those months ago. Despair echoed through him as his emotions were consumed by the thoughts of the daughter he knew, and imagining the loss he would feel if she never made it into this world. The thought of never seeing her again speared through him like a javelin. She didn’t speak a word about the silent tears she felt wetting her skin. She chose to comfort him instead, embracing his head as she had before.

He came up and recaptured her lips with renewed fervor, attempting to sate the hunger and snuff the flame burning inside him. Before either of them realized it all clothes were gone, and he was pushing inside her. Again, his body warred with itself. While the sensations made him crave her fast and hard, his soul pushed him to move slow and deep, savoring the feeling of being connected to her again. His lips moved of their own volition, whispering confessions of love and reassurance into her ear, while his hands gripped her tight in a promise to never let her go.

She gave as good as she got, her quiet moans forming the soundtrack that filled the room. Every sound she made sent shocks through his system.

The orgasm they reached together gave double meaning to the word completion, granting them both satisfaction and the feeling of being whole once more. When they fell asleep together, it was locked in each other’s arms so they would never lose each other.

When she woke the second time the sun was shining through her window, and like before she was alone. She found a note on the pillow beside her in Dean’s handwriting, saying he and Sam went to buy her favorite doughnuts from the bakery she loved downtown.

As the rays of sunshine cleared away the darkness in the room, they seemed to clear away the rose-tinted feelings she felt before she fell asleep. When she could feel the evidence of their time together in the pleasant pain she felt between her legs, she was reminded of other unpleasant memories that had originated from that region.

She felt foolish. Sure, Dean was here now promising he loved her and wanted to be with her, but what about later? What about when they fight again? What about later down the road? What about the next time tragedy strikes again, or the world is about to end? Will he still feel the same or will he just push her away like before? She knew the answer in deep in her soul, and she felt fucking stupid for allowing herself to fall for it.

She got up, grabbing her old duffle bag from the back of her closet and began to pack. This time she made sure to leave everything that would remind her of him, the things they’d collected during their time together. She left the pictures on the wall, the blankets on the couch and on the bed, even the weapons he’d given her. She wrote her own note on the back of the one he’d left her, and walked through the old rented house she’d called home for the last time. She left the keys in the bowl by the door, and didn’t look back.

When Sam and Jensen got back to the house, they immediately knew something was wrong when they found the door unlocked. Panicking, Jensen ran up the stairs three at a time to her bedroom. When he opened it he found it empty. He shouted her name, checking every room as he heard Sam doing the same downstairs. He ran back into the bedroom and noticed the note he left, this time resting on her pillow.

As he got closer he recognized her loopy handwriting, and picked it up cautiously.

_‘Dean,_

_It’s not because of the monsters you fight, or the trouble that seems to follow you like a shadow. It’s not because of your past, the things you’ve done or how you seem to lose the people you care about in your life. It’s not because I don’t care about you, or that I don’t love you with all my heart. I always will. It’s because I need to love myself too. I can’t afford to lose myself in you again, and be broken when you’ve finally had enough. I know I won’t survive it this time. I have to do this for me. Please don’t look for me, just let me go. You will come back somehow…you always do._

_-Bianca’_

He was frozen, so incapable of breathing, forming thoughts, or words that the velvet box holding the modest diamond ring he just bought falling to the floor was the only sound heard in the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, as I told you in the beginning the chapters are already written, I just place a few final touches on them before publishing. But today, I've had a few, so if this one sucks, I apologize. I hope you guys are still loving this story, because I am currently in the process of writing chapter 15. And let me tell you, things are coming to a head lol. Please sound off below! I love comments, and I try my very best to respond to them :)


	13. Chapter Twelve: Sam - Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean recruits Sam in his search to find Bianca before it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola! I'm just going to pretend it hasn't been a while since I've posted... (please don't hate me, I love you guys!)

Dean was frozen as a statue when Sam approached the bedroom door. Sam looked at him, clearly confused, until he saw the note in his hand. Being the former college man he was, it didn’t take him much to figure out what the note must’ve said.

“Dean?” He asked his brother’s back tentatively.

As he stepped closer he could see Dean’s eyes watering and felt surprised, something that was becoming a trend for him this morning.

When Dean woke him up, he told him they were going on a store run and Sam didn’t question it. But once they got in the car, he confessed he wanted to go into to town and buy a ring. Sam had just looked at him like he’d grown two heads. He’d asked if his brother was feeling well, checked him for a fever, even discreetly mentioned running a silver and holy water test on him, but Dean had just laughed him off.

“I’m not a monster, I’m not sick, and I’m not friggin’ possessed Sammy,” He chuckled. “I’m just seeing clearly for the first time. First time in a long time.”

And he said nothing more about it. When they arrived at the small jeweler’s shop in the town square, Sam still couldn’t believe it. Dean browsed for about twenty minutes, and paused in front of a small diamond set in a simple silver band. His face completely transformed with happiness, the smile gracing his lips giving him a look of joy Sam had seen so few times in their lives. He looked up at Sam for his thoughts, and Sam couldn’t fight his own joy at seeing his brother’s happiness. “Dean, that’s perfect, she’ll love it.” Sam told him honestly.

While he never said it at the time, Sam wasn’t sure he agreed with his brother’s plans. He believed in his heart that Dean and Bianca belonged together, but a bad feeling in his gut told him that the timing was wrong. Sure, they made up last night…the noise they made forced him to take a twenty minute walk around her neighborhood to give them some privacy…but even Sam knew that getting back together didn’t just fix all the problems they had. Of course they loved each other, that was obvious, but having sex wasn’t some cure all for all the issues in their relationship they had yet to fix. All of this on his mind, but he never told Dean about his reservations. So he watched Dean pay for the ring with a roll of cash he’d never seen before.

And now, witnessing his brother’s heart breaking in front of him, he wishes he would have said something. Sure, it wasn’t as if he’d asked her and she said no, but this somehow felt worse.

“Dean, I’m so sorry…” Sam whispered, empathy laced in his voice.

“An hour.” Dean mumbled, and Sam didn’t quite catch it.

“What?”

“We had to be gone an hour, tops.” Dean spoke clearer, his voice thick with emotion.

“Dean—” Sam tried.

“She couldn’t have gotten far…her car is still at the diner from last night.” Dean rushed, picking up the ring and running down the stairs. Sam ran after him.

“Dean slow down! Why don’t we just take a minute and—” Sam reasoned as he ran.

“I can’t, I have to find her! Come on get in the damn car!” Dean yelled back.

Dean floored it down the road, barely paying mind to the stop signs and running yellow lights. His eyes lit up when he saw her car still parked on the back lot, and Sam could see the hope sparking inside him. He just hoped Dean wouldn’t get his hopes crushed.

They sped onto the lot outside the dinner, taking up two parking spots with how poorly he parked. The car had barely stopped moving when he jumped out, Sam trailing behind him.

He burst through the door scanning the dining room erratically for her face, drawing the attention of every family eating breakfast there. The hostess, Jasmine, Sam remembered belatedly, looked annoyed at their sudden loud appearance. He tried to send her a smile of apology, but Dean decided not to be polite.

“Is Bianca here?” He asked urgently, skipping the pleasantries.

Jasmine just rolled her heavily eyeshadowed eyes. “Bianca? She was supposed to be here for her shift an hour ago, but she never called. So now _I_ have to wait her tables _and_ seat the customers. If you see little miss I-Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Give-Two-Weeks-Notice-Like-Normal-People, tell her to go suck an egg.”

“Shit!” Dean cursed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. The elderly couple eating pancakes with their grandchildren looked up, appalled at his language. Sam sent them an apologetic smile too.

“Maybe she’s at the bus station.” Dean announced, already walking out the door.

Jasmine, upset they were leaving without a thank you or goodbye, yelled after them. “And tell her if she doesn’t move her car it’s gonna get towed in two days!”

They both ignored her as Dean raced back to the Impala. “I gotta find her Sammy,” He said. “If I could just talk to her, tell her everything, she’ll listen this time so I could change her mind and turn it all around.” He stated throwing the door open and falling inside. Sam barely had the door closed before they were speeding off again. “If she sees how much I mean it, how much I’m hurting and I need her, she’ll take me back for sure.”

Sam stared at the man before him, not recognizing him. “Dean, she left her car here.”

“Yeah, so?” Dean answered, annoyed.

Sam paused for a moment, knowing he was going to have to do this delicately. “She left her car at the diner. She left all her pictures, all her stuff at the house. She left her house keys in the bowl and didn’t lock the door.”

Dean’s jaw hardened. “What are you sayin’, Sammy?”

“I’m sayin’ that maybe she doesn’t want to be found. She took care not to tie up any loose ends, she didn’t pack much but what she absolutely couldn’t live without, and she left town in a hurry. She wasn’t trying to waste any time. She left her car so we wouldn’t be able to track the plates.”

Dean was silent as Sam’s words washed over him.

“She left all her credit cards on the counter, Dean. I’m willing to bet money she ditched her phone too. She doesn’t want us to follow her.”

Dean never spoke, just continued to stare at the road. His face was stoic and his knuckles were white from gripping the wheel so hard.

“She lived with us for over a year, man. She knows all the ways we’d try to look for her, which means she’s gonna do everything she can for us not to track her down. She doesn’t want to be found, Dean.” Sam said solemnly.

Dean shook his head, his jaw clenched in anger as he was unable to look at his brother or admit that he was right. “I’m gonna drop you at the train station and head to the police station. The sheriff was a good guy, he might put out an APB even though it hasn’t been 48 hours. At least the squad cars might keep an eye out for her. Then I’ll go check the train station.”

Sam got out of the car with a sigh and watched his brother speed away from the bus station. He walked inside with his head hanging. When he looked up, he couldn’t believe it…she was at the window buying a ticket.

When she turned around surprise colored her face, right before it fell.

“Sam…” She said sadly.

“Bianca, please don’t do this.” Sam pleaded, and she gave him a sad smile.

The voice overhead announced all the buses that would be departing soon, and Sam felt his stomach drop.

“Sam, I think we both know I have to.”

He looked up at the board above them, reading all the cities that would be departing until she stepped in front of him blocking his view. Even after all these months, she still knew him so well. She was too short to block his view, but she made sure his eyes were on her and she had his attention.

“There’s three buses leaving in the next ten minutes. So you could try and follow me, checking all three cities…or you could just let me go. And tell him you never saw me.”

Sam looked down at his shoes, unable to look in her eyes and see the pain in them. “Please don’t ask me to do this…” He begged. He didn’t want to lie to his brother.

“I’m so sorry Sammy…” She cried, feeling guilty for putting him in this position. “But it’s been so long since I’ve been happy with my life. _Really_ happy. Don’t I at least deserve a chance to try?” She gave him a watery smile.

“You could be happy with him…” He tried weakly, and wiped the tear that fell from his eye.

She stood on her tip toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He took a deep breath to collect himself and shook his head.

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself?” He asked.

She punched him lightly in the shoulder and gave him her signature smile, though gloomier than usual. “Always.” She promised.

Sam pulled her into the tightest hug he’d ever given her, and watched her sadly as she left to get on her bus. And in an action that surprised himself, he didn’t read where it was going.

As he watched the rising dust kicked up by the bus pulling away, his phone rang. He answered, already knowing who it was.

“Did you find her? I got bupkis at the police station and I checked online, the train station doesn’t have any departures leaving until later today.”

Sam sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. He thought briefly about that bad feeling that had settled into his stomach earlier. At the time it felt foreboding, like something bad was on the horizon. It turned out to be right. Now, he only felt faith. He knew everything was going to turn out the way it was supposed to, and things were happening the way they were meant to be. Sure, she was leaving now…but he knew it in his heart she would be back. He decided to follow his gut. It’s that faith that gave him the comfort and confidence to override his guilt and lie to his brother.

He sighed again. “Nah Dean…I never saw her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one, I know, but Kudos to Sam for respecting her choice.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Bianca - Resentment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good things can never last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you got your tissues, children.

When Bianca woke up, she found that her husband had already left for work. He must’ve had an early call time, she realized. They’d arrived back from Vegas a couple weeks prior, and had been living in their own little bubble on cloud nine ever since. The media had no idea of the pregnancy, business carrying on as usual for them both. Bianca outright refused any interviews and appearances her publicist tried to pressure her into, though when her label pressured her she offered to perform in New York, three nights only.

The anxiety she felt about performing while secretly four months pregnant made her restless. She shared her fears with her doctors and Jay, all of which assured her she would be fine. Jay had accompanied her through the entire thing, even giving her words of encouragement through her private costume fittings. In the end, she gave three of the best shows of her life and the world was none the wiser about the life growing inside her womb.

Jay had been going overboard, buying all types of things for the new nursery and having them shipped to the house daily. Together they danced around the house, danced with their daughter, and immediately started plans to redecorate the spare bedroom that was full of all of Jay’s records and B’s old tour memorabilia for the nursery. Whenever she’d be in the kitchen listening to her favorite old R&B and Soul playlists, Jay would randomly surprise her by grabbing her by the waist to dance, much to the amusement of their daughter, singing along to the lyrics she had no idea he even knew.

 _‘Whenever I got lonely_  
_Or needed some advice_  
 _He gave me his shoulder_  
 _His words were very nice_  
  
_But that is all behind me_  
 _'Cause now there is no other_  
 _My love is his and his is mine_  
 _A friend became the…_ ’

She sang to Dallas as she danced with her around the kitchen, before placing her back in her high chair so she could enjoy the private serenade at the kitchen table. Bianca yelped in surprise when she felt strong arms wrap around her growing waist as she kept singing.

 _‘(Love of my life)_  
_You are my friend_  
 _(Love of my life)_  
 _I can depend, yeah, yeah_  
 _(Love of my life)_  
 _Without you baby, feels like a simple true love, yeah’_

The shock shone on her face when she heard the deep timber of his voice in her ear.

 _‘Y'all know how I met her_  
 _We broke up and got back together_  
 _To get her back I had to sweat her_  
 _Thought she roll with bad boys forever in many ways_  
 _Them boys may be better, to grow, I had to let her (Never)_  
 _She needed cheddar and I understood that_  
 _Lookin' for cheese, that don't make her a hood rat (Rat)_  
 _In fact she's a queen to me, her light beams on me_  
 _I love it when she sings to me_  
 _It's like_ ’

Bianca couldn’t control her laughing at Jensen’s non-rapping self, trying to spit Common’s verse. He turned her to face him in his arms, rapping to her with a smile as she giggled herself silly.

He tried to rock to the beat as he rocked her hips in a sway from left to right, all the while looking at her expectantly as she happily wrapped her arms around his shoulders. The happiness on his face was infectious as she sang back to him.

‘( _Love of my life)_  
 _Ooh, you know you rock my world and_  
 _(Love of my life)_  
 _You be boy and I'll be girl and_  
 _(Love of my life)_  
 _We don't stop until the break of dawn, ooh..._ ’

She belted, the smile on her face genuine as her eyes danced with happiness.

They continued dancing and singing together to Dallas’ amusement and applause, occasionally stealing a kiss with him even twirling her a few times.

“One of these days I’m going to pull you up on stage with me,” She teased as he twirled her around.

“Not in a million years!” He challenged back, feeling the warmth in his chest at the sound of his wife’s laughter.

She couldn’t fight the joy building inside her as she smiled at the memory, and when she sat up she placed a hand to her growing tummy. Though this pregnancy had snuck up on them both, she couldn’t help but feel thankful it was much less of hassle than her first one. No morning sickness to speak of, but she didn’t want to jinx it.

She got out of bed and showered, then went into Dallas’ bedroom to wake up her beautiful baby girl and found she was already awake waiting to be picked up.

“Hi lady bug!” She smiled and Dallas jumped up and down. “Mommy!”

When Bianca picked her up, she covered her face in kisses. “Did you have good dreams?”

“Yeah! I dreamed Mickey Mouse!” Dallas said happily.

“Really? Did you have a good time with Mickey?” Bianca asked in excitement.

“Yeah, we was swimming like Daddy when took us. Can we go swim?”

“Maybe later, right now it’s time for breakfast. What do you want, lemme guess—”

“Panny-cakes!” Dallas cheered, stating it at the same time as her mother.

“Just like the day before, and probably tomorrow too. Let’s go, lady bug.”

Bianca fixed them breakfast as Dallas watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse from her high chair. She shook her head at her daughter, in a minute she would be able to sit in a normal chair and another little butt would be in that seat. And she couldn’t wait.

She startled when the house phone rang, so few people knew the private number and everyone always called their cellphones to reach them. When she looked at the ID, it was a number she didn’t recognize.

She shrugged and answered anyway, hoping it wasn’t a crazy fan. “Lopez residence, can I help you?” She adapted a Spanish accent.

“I know who you are, please don’t hang up.”

Bianca rolled her eyes, and hung up the phone. When it rang again she considered ignoring it but she knew they would just keep calling.

She picked up and before she could go off, the girl was already speaking. “Listen please don’t hang up, I have something to tell you.”

“Better make it fast.” Bianca threatened in her normal voice, having already decided to get the number changed.

“I know you don’t know me personally met but I used to work with your husband. I worked on his show.”

“Tick-tock,” Bianca warned.

“Look there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come out and say it. Your husband and I were having an affair.”

Bianca’s heart dropped down to her feet. “Bullshit.”

“I can prove it.” The woman said.

“Who are you?” Bianca yelled.

“My name is Cindy Sampson, and I played Jensen’s romantic interest Lisa on the show. About a year ago, he and I started sleeping together.”

Bianca’s eyes watered as her heart broke. “Why should I believe you?”

She heard Cindy sigh. “How else would I have this number? When you walk through your front door, there’s a huge portrait of your family hanging over the fireplace. Your couches are dark blue. You keep peach scented hand soap in your bathroom and lavender body wash in your shower. You have two bottles of Marc Jacobs perfume on your dresser.”

Bianca was speechless. “How do you know all of this?”

“Because Jay let me use it. He let me use it all, your lotions, your clothes, your jewelry, all of it.” She could hear the tears in her voice.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Bianca asked, her voice thick with tears of her own.

“Because I realized recently…what I did was horrible. I’ve learned that nobody deserves that. And if it were me…I would want to know. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I needed to say I’m sorry.”

She hung up before Bianca could say another word.

The pancakes burned as Bianca cried silently on the floor, and Dallas continued to watch Disney channel completely oblivious to the world crashing down around her family.

Jensen got home earlier than usual, meaning he wrapped around 4. When he walked through the door, he found Bianca’s luggage packed. His stomach flipped and he immediately knew something was wrong. He ran up the stairs to their bedroom and found Bianca sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, facing their bed. He slowly approached her from behind, and when he got closer he noticed her eyes were puffy and red. She was holding her wedding ring in her hand.

“Where’s Dallas?” He asked.

“My mother was in LA, and she caught the first flight out when I called her. She and Dallas are at her hotel.”

Dean just stood there, unsure of what to say. “B, just let me explain—”

“Don’t you want to know how I found out?” She asked, not pausing to give him a chance to respond. “Your little side piece called the house today. Told me everything.”

“Cindy called you?” Dean asked, furious.

“Yep. Of course, I didn’t believe her at first. With our lifestyle, both of our jobs…” She shrugged. “People will say all kinds of stupid shit. They’ll do anything to get a rise out of you, anything to make headlines.”

She turned sideways to somewhat face him, still unable to look him in the eye. “But when that woman could describe our home…every detail from the color of our couch down to the to the soap in my fuckin’ shower…I knew she was telling the truth.”

He walked forward and sat down to the side of her on the bed, unable to quite face her. “You fucked that woman…” Bianca said furiously through her tears. “In our home, in our bed…on that fucking mattress right there! The same mattress you made love to me on! The same bed we sleep in, that our _daughter_ sleeps in!” She yelled at him, but he just cried.

“I keep asking myself _how could you_ …I mean, _why_ would you? How could you lie? I should’ve known…things were so fucked up between us. I should’ve guessed when you made me and Dallas move back to Texas. I’m so fucking blind…” She rolled her eyes and toyed with the ring in her hands.

He wondered for a moment if he should tell her the truth. The _real_ truth. That he wasn’t the famous actor Jensen Ackles, he was the real Dean Winchester and he hadn’t done any of the things she was accusing him of. That he would never do something so foul to her, any version of her, no matter what they were going through. Even though it was _his_ truth, he knew she wouldn’t believe him. At this point, she had no reason to believe anything he had to say.

“Bianca…I’m s—”

“I swear to god, if you fucking say you’re sorry right now, I will punch you in the _throat_.” She threatened.

Dean looked at his shoes. “Do it.” He said gravely. “I deserve it.”

“Nah Jay, you deserve worse than that. All I ever did was love you, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, to make you happy, for us _to be_ happy together. Do you remember the week before our wedding?”

Dean was silent, because he really didn’t remember.

“I gave you an out. I came to you and told you, getting married is no small thing. I gave you a chance to walk away. I wasn’t stupid, I knew about your past. I knew how much you liked your freedom. I knew that because of my music and your show, the moment we said ‘I Do’ our lives wouldn’t really be ours anymore. We would never have the privacy we once had. I gave you a choice, because it’s scary a thing to realize you’re about to lose your anonymity. Believe me, I would know.”

She scoffed. “But you told me you’d never been more sure of anything in your life. That I was the only person you wanted to be with, for the rest of time…what a fuckin’ joke. And wouldn’t you know it, I was right. We conceived Dallas the night of the wedding on our honeymoon in Paris. The City of Love…it’s poetic, really. We spent weeks there, and I really thought you were happy, all the while Dallas was just blooming away.” She gestured at her womb. “It’s funny…”

“What is?” He asked.

“There’s no trumpets or fanfare that go off when you make the biggest decision of your life. Sometimes, you don’t even know you made it. My baby will _always_ be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Dallas wasn’t a mistake…we might’ve been but she wasn’t. Neither is this baby.”

“Bianca, we aren’t a mistake!” Dean finally argued back.

“Oh really! Because I’m starting to think everything you’ve ever told me has been a lie! I can’t stop second guessing every word you’ve ever said to me, Jay! You cheated on me!” She yelled through angry tears. “I am your _wife_! You took vows in front of your family, in front on my family, our friends, in front of **_God_** …and you broke them.”

“I know!” He shouted back. “I know, I fucked up, and I’m sorry B, I can’t express how sorry I am and I wish I never fucking did it! But I’m begging you…don’t leave.”

“How long?” Bianca asked sadly.

“What?”

“HOW LONG HAD YOU BEEN FUCKING THAT BITCH IN MY HOUSE! IN MY BED! LETTING HER WEAR MY CLOTHES, MY SHOES, USING UP MY SHIT…HOW LONG?” She demanded.

“A year.” He said numbly.

Bianca nodded, even though she hated it was confirmed. “So for a whole year, you let me walk around looking crazy.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you buy her shit too? Of course you did, why wouldn’t you use _our_ money to spoil your little sideline ho.”

Dean said nothing to refute her. He had already decided at the beginning of their conversation that from this day forward, he was never going to lie to his wife again. So when she would ask him a question he truly didn’t know the answer to, he would stay silent. Dean bit his lip as he wiped the tears from his face.

“Did you love her?” She asked and he finally looked her square in the eye. “Never. I’m not capable of loving anyone else.”

Bianca chucked bitterly. “You sure got a funny way of showin’ it. The fucked-up thing is that I _asked_ you! I fucking _asked_ you if you were cheating on me the last time we flew up here! I fucking _knew_ something was going on! It broke my heart, but I had to ask, I needed to know! I even told you after that last big fight, if you wanted to leave I wouldn’t stop you. It wasn’t worth staying in a marriage you weren’t happy in. I promised you I wouldn’t hate you if you left, I would only hate you if you stayed and broke my heart. But you swore to me that nothing was going on, and you were exactly where you wanted to be. You could’ve _told_ me you weren’t happy, you had every chance to tell me the truth…I know you didn’t want to hurt me but look what you’ve done to me now.”

“Baby…just give me a chance to fix it. I swear to you, on our daughter’s life, I haven’t seen or touched anyone but you since you got back. I’ve changed. I may have fucked up but I realized that you, that baby, and Dallas are the only thing in this world that matter to me and I haven’t done anything since. When you guys came back up here, I realized I never wanted you to leave again. I needed to be with you, no matter what. That’s the way it should’ve been from the beginning. Bianca, you’re the mother of my children, the love of my life…believe me when I say I would fucking die without you. Baby I’m begging you from the bottom of my heart, please don’t go…because if you leave, I won’t be living…not until you come back home.”

She cried even harder than before. “I wish I could believe you,” She sobbed. “That everything would be alright. But now everything you told me really don’t apply. Loving you was so easy once upon a time. I know I’m not perfect, I’ve made mistakes too…I went into this marriage knowing it would be hard but none of that would matter as long as we faced it together. I’ve been sitting here…staring at that stupid muthafuckin’ bed trying to remember all the good things we’ve shared there, but all I can picture is you with another woman. And it’s all because you lied.”

She wiped under her red eyes. “I thought if I let you plead your case…admit your mistake and assume responsibility for it, I would be able to start forgiving you. I know you’ve changed Jay, I could tell the moment we got back. You stopped pushing us away, and you were really trying. But I just can’t seem to get over the way you hurt me. This hurts Jay, hurts worse than anything I’ve ever felt in my life before. As much as I want to trust you and what you’re saying, I know it ain’t the same. Not anymore.”

She leaned forward and placed the extravagant diamond ring he’d proposed with on the bed next to him. “I just don’t know how you could give another woman who didn’t mean a thing to you so much. The very same things you used to give to me—your time, your affection, your attention…all of it. She got all of it. I know I don’t talk about it much…” She hesitated. “But we both know I have insecurities. The world looks at me and sees this perfect, flawlessly confident individual but inside…I’m just like any other woman. I’ll always remember feelin’ like I was no good every time you denied me. Like I couldn’t do it for you like she could…whoever she was that was making you smile like I used to. I’ve watched every episode of the show, Jay, I know she was attractive…but I was here _first_. I’ve been down for you all these years…why did I deserve to be treated this way by you? I was crying for so long in Texas thinking the problem was me…what did you do to me? I used to be so strong, so independent, but it feels like you took my soul and ripped my heart right out of my chest.”

“I love you.” Dean said, since it was the only thing he felt like he could say.

“I know.” She answered, and they were quiet for a moment. “But I can’t shake this feeling. Not yet. I can’t shake the feeling that one day I might see her out on the street, and have to look her in the eyes…and see she’s had half of me.”

She stood up in front of him. “I may never understand why you did this…why it happened, why or how I let it happen. But I’m doing the best that I can. And I promise, I will try to move past this. I took the same vows on the same day that you did, and that means I’m not just gonna to cut and run because things are hard. Growing up in Texas, my dad used to always tell us when he would take us to the beach, no matter how big you build your sandcastle, it’ll get washed away eventually. The sandcastle we made may have washed away Jay, but I believe with everything in me that one day we could rebuild it. For now,” She took a shaky breath. “I think I just need some time.”

Dean felt his heart shatter to pieces as he watched the woman he loved walk out of his life for a second time, feeling just as powerless as before to stop it. When he heard the front door slam shut behind her, he lost it. He opened both the balcony doors and marched over to the bed. He ripped all the linens off their bed, throwing the pillows over the balcony after he’d tossed the sheets. He picked up the California king sized mattress and pushed it through the doors over the railing. All his bedding slowly began sinking, settling at the bottom of their Olympic sized pool. He fell to the floor, hot furious tears streaming down his face as he sobbed into his hands—he’d lost her again. She was gone. _Again_.

His baby was lost to him…again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here if you need to talk, providing emotional support.
> 
> Kudos are welcomed, but comments are love. Seriously, I hate to be the needy girlfriend craving compliments for validation but here I am. Comments are encouragement. :)


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Bianca - Towards The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bianca faces her past, so that she can move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *meekly into the dark room* Hello? Is anybody out there? Is there anyone still reading? I'm back...you know, just in case you wanted to know.

**Chapter Fourteen: Bianca - Towards the Sun**

 

Bianca stood outside the small brick-front three-bedroom home, too afraid to walk up the walkway and ring the doorbell. It had been so long since she’d seen this little house, the house that haunted her memories and her dreams at night.

She’d been standing on the sidewalk in front of it for the last 10 minutes, the suburban neighborhood around it buzzing with life. Kids rode their bikes down the street, neighbors watered their lawn up the road, and the elderly couple two houses down were sitting on their sun porch in rocking chairs sipping iced tea enjoying the afternoon rays.

It felt so much like home, the way it did before, that it scared her. She could see the dent in the garage door where she lost control of her bike and ran into it. The mailbox at the edge of the curb was still leaning from the day she learned how to drive. The attic window still had purple curtains.

She gathered her courage and took slow steps up the walk. She hesitated again at the red door, her hand poised to knock. When she finally did, every muscle in her body screamed to run away.

Before she could bail, the sounds of small feet approached the other side of the door. It flew open in a flourish and her eyes were met with a child.

“Who are you?” He asked, with all the innocence of a seven-year-old.

“Julian, what did I tell you about openin’ my front door? It could be strangers or Jehovah’s witness, go to your room!” An angry female voice called from the back of the house, approaching fast.

Bianca steeled herself as the woman approached. When she pushed the child out of the way and saw her face, time stood still.

She still looked the same. She had grown, obviously, and so much time had passed but it was still the same face Bianca grew up with.

“Bianca?” The woman asked in shock, and Bianca’s eyes began to tear up.

“Celeste.” Bianca breathed out, emotions overtaking her.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” Celeste answered harshly.

Bianca faltered, and hung her head in shame. “I had nowhere else to go.”

Celeste was silent as she took in the sister she hadn’t seen in five years. She looked skinny, too skinny for her, and her hair looked duller than she remembered. She had bags under her eyes, and a huge army green duffle bag slung over her shoulder. She was faced with a decision, and could only do what she knew her parents would’ve wanted.

“Come in, you look like shit.” She said tartly, making Bianca chuckle as she walked inside. “Nice to see some things haven’t changed.” She remarked, dropping her duffle on the floor. She took in the small living room with family photos all around, some older from their childhood, some newer pictures of her nephew. She leaned in to inspect a more recent photo of him with a smile gracing her lips.

“He’s so big now…I haven’t seen him since he was a baby. He didn’t even recognize me.”

Celeste shut the front door and locked it, then turned around with her arms crossed. “Yeah, and whose fault is that?” She asked annoyed. “Where have you been, Bianca?”

Bianca sighed as she stood tall, turning to face her younger sister. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But I promise, I’ll tell you everything tonight.”

Before Celeste could respond Julian came running into the room again, excitement dancing in his eyes as he ran up to his mother. “Ma, can I go play with the kids down the street? I finished my homework!”

“In a minute Julian, I have someone I want you meet…” She turned him around and he finally noticed Bianca standing there. “This is your Aunt Bianca.”

He looked at her like she was some foreign object, and Bianca was feeling awkward which forced her to fill the silence.

“Aunt, Auntie, Tee-Tee, whatever you wanna call me.” She said nervously.

Julian’s face screwed up in dislike and Bianca was instantly reminded of Celeste making that same face when they were kids when their parents introduced them to family they had never met before.

“How come I never met you?” He asked smartly, with an attitude like his mother.

“You were just a baby when I left…you could barely walk. When I used to watch you, all you would ever sit still for was Dora the Explorer. Hours and hours of that show, I wanted to shoot my brains out but you loved it and made me sing all the songs with you.” She laughed. “Whenever I had to pick up your mom from work I would put you in your car seat, and we would make up games to play in the car because you were too good at playin’ I-Spy. We would sing Disney songs, you used to love singing—”

“I just can’t wait to be king…” He finished for her, starting to remember. “Auntie Be-Be?”  
“Yeah, JuJu-Bean. It’s me.” She answered happily, and got the wind knocked out of her when he ran over to hug her waist.

“I missed you, little man.” She kneeled to give him a proper hug. “You’re almost as tall as me!”

He was really excited now. “Ma, can I show Auntie Be-Be my toys? I want her to see the Ninja Turtles dad bought me last week!”

“She had a long trip, why don’t you give her chance to relax first? You can go ride bikes with your friends, I’ll yell when it’s time to come home for dinner.”

“Okay!” He hugged them both, and ran out the door.

Bianca watched him wistfully, still unbelieving she was home again. “Yell for him? Just step on the porch and scream his name like Mama used to do?”

Celeste shrugged, unashamed. “It works.”

“You were the one who said Mama was ghetto as hell for steppin’ on the porch in that raggedy housecoat and screamin’ like that.”

“She was. But we brought our asses home, it was effective. He knows the rules. Don’t go far enough that you can’t hear my voice when I call, and be in this house by the time the street lights come on.”

Bianca rolled her eyes in laughter at her sister, following her into the kitchen. She sat down at the same old wooden kitchen table from her childhood, and watched as her sister continued to make dinner.

She looked at Julian’s artwork taped to the fridge, and her thoughts were interrupted by her sister’s voice.

“You ready to tell me where you been?” She asked without looking at her, the same way their mother used to do when one of them was in trouble.

Bianca sighed again. “Well, it’s a long story.”

Celeste turned the heat under the pots down to a simmer and grabbed a bottle of Wild Turkey from the cabinet, placing a glass in front of Bianca and herself. Bianca shouldn’t have been surprised, Celeste keep the bottle the same place where their father used hide it.

Bianca poured them both a drink and drank hers down, the burn on the back of her throat calming her nerves.

“What do you remember about when I left?” She asked finally.

Celeste took another sip off her glass, and rubbed her eyebrow. “I remember…Mom and Dad were driving you to Georgia to drop you off since you got accepted at Clark University…and then I remembered you called and told me there was a break-in at the motel you all were stayin’ at in Alabama. That a man broke in and tried to rob you. Dad tried to fight him off and the man stabbed them both…”

Bianca nodded, the emotions from all those years ago bubbling up inside her. “I blamed myself…” Bianca whispered. She gripped her glass tighter. “Celeste the story I told you…that’s not really what happened.”

Celeste looked up from the table to her sister’s eyes in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Bianca blew out a breath. “There are things you don’t know, things I never told you…things that most people aren’t aware of. Even _if_ they knew, they wouldn’t believe it, I swear, you’re gonna think I’m crazy but I promise everything I’m about to tell you is the honest to god truth.”

“Bianca, you’re scaring me…”

She leaned forward to hold Celeste’s hand. “Less…the motel we stayed at in Alabama…it had a dark history. Back in the 70’s there was a man driving across the country killing girls in every state he stopped in. By the time the cops caught him, he had already kidnapped and murdered 12 women. The police found him at the Motel we stayed at…The Knightwood Inn. When they tried to kick the door in he fired at the police, and they killed him. He died in 1976.”

“Bianca what does this have to do with Ma and Dad?”

“Celeste just…just promise to hear me out until the end okay?” Bianca begged, and Celeste relented.

“His name was Elias Mitchell and he stayed in room 24. That’s the same room that we rented the night they died. Sometimes…when people die…their spirit doesn’t really leave. It sounds like bullshit, but we’ve all heard of unfinished business, right?”

Celeste skeptically pursed her lips. “Really, B? You tryna tell me he was a ghost?” Celeste asked sarcastically.

“Just shut up till the end and let me finish.” Bianca rolled her eyes. “Well Elias Mitchell…his business wasn’t finished. I didn’t…when I got back to the room I didn’t find them dead like the cops said. I was in the room when it happened. I remember every second of it. I was going to leave and get some ice but when I reached for the door, it wouldn’t open. The room got cold, so cold I could see my breath in front of me. Dad thought it was the AC and tried to fix it but Ma was freaking out, yelling at him to just call the front desk.”

She paused as she relived that night. “It all happened so fast. One second Dad was by the AC, the next second he was thrown across the room. I looked over and Ma was gagging on the bed like she was being choked, but nothing was there. I was screaming for help, banging on the door and pulling at the knob but it wouldn’t budge. When I looked back over at her, there was a man standing over her choking her to death. I remember thinking his skin was so pale, and his clothes were old and bloody. He just appeared out of nowhere…

“I saw Dad getting to his feet, so I ran over to Ma to help her. I was going to try and pull him off her, but before I could even touch him he lifted his hand and I was shoved to the floor. Then I blinked, and he was standing over me, holding a knife. I was crying so hard…” Tears streamed down her face and she barely felt when Celeste squeezed her hand.

“He was about to stab me and I knew…I knew I would never go to college. I would never see you or Julian again. Ma and Dad would have to watch me die and I felt so guilty…” She choked on a sob, and Celeste rubbed her back in comfort. “Right before he could stab me, Dad came up behind him and tried to hit him in the back with one of the metal chairs by the table. I don’t know why it stopped him, but it was like the chair with through him and he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When he reappeared, he was back across the room standing over mom with his knife. He stabbed her three times in the chest. When I sleep at night, I can hear her screaming…sometimes when I close my eyes I can still see it.”

“Bianca…” Celeste was crying as well…unable to form the right words.

“He stabbed Dad in the back. Dad fell to the floor and he reached for me. He told me to run…that’s the last thing he ever said to me. I couldn’t stop screaming…I just started throwing whatever I could find at him. I threw what was on the table, what was in the bag next to me, everything went right through him and he kept walking towards me with that creepy smile on his face. When I threw the table salt at him…he disappeared again. By then, the manager was banging on the door.”

“I don’t know what to say…” Celeste said honestly.

“When the cops got there, I was hysterical. I kept screaming because I was scared he was going to come back. I told them everything, but they told me it wasn’t real. They said I wasn’t remembering right because of the shock, but I know what I saw. The only reason they didn’t lock me up was because they couldn’t find a murder weapon in the room. They claimed the guy must’ve been a drifter, but when they checked the cameras even _they_ couldn’t explain why they saw no one leaving or entering the room.”

“You expect me to believe this?” Celeste asked.

Bianca gave her and hard stare. “Celeste, look in my eyes and tell me I’m lying.”

“But ghosts, B? Seriously, you tellin’ me the ghost of a serial killer murdered our parents and you expect me not to think—”

“I expect you to believe me!” Bianca shouted. “To trust me, and know in your heart that I would never lie about somethin’ like this! Ghosts are real Lest, and so are vampires, werewolves, demons, angels, and a whole mess of other shit we were told was just make-believe! Monsters are real, and they’re out there killing people every day. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past few years.”

“Doing what?”

“That night in that motel room, I knew the life I had was over and it would never be the same. Something had changed, and the real truth is a hard pill to swallow…it’s not something you can un-see once you’ve seen it. Once you learn what’s really out there, there’s no way to go back and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Trust me, I tried…”

“What do you mean you tried? You never even came home after they died…you left and never came back! You didn’t even come to their funeral!” Celeste yelled, letting all her anger from the past resurface.

Bianca wiped her eyes. “I couldn’t…I just couldn’t, after seeing what happened to them. I handled the lawyers and their estates from the road. I used their policies and dad’s pension to pay the house off. I put it your name so you could do what you wanted with it. But I just couldn’t see all this again.”

“For 8 months…8 months all I got from you were post cards. No phone calls, no texts, and then nothing…it all just stopped. I had to deal with everything… _everything_ …on my own. On top of raising a child.” Celeste cried.

“I’m so sorry I did that to you…” Bianca was shaking her head. “I realize now that I was just running away from it all. I moved to New York and got a job bartending at this club called 40/40. I met this guy, Shawn, and I thought he was the perfect guy. I was so excited when I got home from our first date, I had half a mind to call you just so I could tell somebody about it.” She smiled in regret.

“But Shawn wasn’t who I thought he was…” She said numbly. “He was possessive as fuck, and jealous. He would follow me to work and sit at the bar to make sure nobody flirted with me during my shifts. He would steal my phone and go through it. One night he saw a text from one of my coworkers and lost his shit. He hit me so hard, I was out for 20 minutes.”

Celeste gasped in shock, and Bianca just held her hand again. “I broke up with him, but he wouldn’t take the hint. He started stalking me, and one day he showed up at my apartment begging me to take him back. Apologizing and threatening to kill himself if I didn’t. I was so angry and fed up, I told him to go to hell. Sometimes…we say things and we don’t even think about it. He killed himself that night.”

Celeste refilled their drinks and this time, she drank the whole glass in one go. She motioned with her hand for Bianca to continue as she tried to swallow away the burn.

“I felt sorry for him, but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was free. I thought it was finally over. That shit was just like a horror movie though, right when you think you’re safe the killer comes back.”

“What happened? Was it his ghost?” Celeste asked, invested in the story.

“I came home late one night after my shift, and the entire apartment was cold. I started panicking, flashing back to what happened in Alabama. I knew in my heart what was happening, and just like before I had no idea how to stop it. I kept thinking why was this happening to me. Shawn appeared right in my kitchen, pale as a ghost with a crazy look in his eyes and a gun in his hand. The same gun he took his life with. He attacked me, and the moment he started hitting me and throwing me against the walls without lifting a fucking finger I knew he was trying to make it last. He wanted to torture me, to beat me within an inch of my life and then kill me. And he would’ve if they hadn’t kicked the door in.”

“They?” Celeste asked confused.

“Two guys came bustin’ through the front door with sawed off shotguns and went right at Shawn. They fired off shots at him, and he would disappear. Every time he popped up, they would shoot him. I was freaking out until one of them grabbed me and snapped me out of it. It’s going to sound cheesy as fuck, but when I looked in his eyes I felt this feeling wash over me, and I wasn’t afraid anymore. He dragged me to the center of the room and poured a circle of salt around me. He told me not to leave the circle, no matter what I saw. The other one asked me did I keep anything of Shawn’s that meant something to him or that his spirit might be tied to. I noticed his favorite black NY hat that he left by the tv weeks prior, and the guy took out a lighter and burned it. When he did, Shawn went up in flames too.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Celeste exclaimed.

“I shit you not.” Bianca shook her head again. “Apparently, when folks die bloody and wrong…their spirit comes back angry and they become a poltergeist. Salt and iron will slow them down, but the only way to send them packin’ is to salt and burn their bones or whatever is keeping them here on this plane. After Shawn committed suicide his family had him cremated, but three other women had ended up dead. Apparently stalking wasn’t a new thing for him. All his ex-girlfriends had pressed charges and gotten restraining orders against him, and I had no idea. When the Winchesters came in town to investigate the mysterious murders, they figured out that I was next. They saved my life.”

“The Winchesters? Were they the ones who taught you all of this?”

Bianca stared off fondly. “Yeah. Sam and Dean taught me how to be a hunter, and they showed me how to survive. I was tired of running and living my life in fear, so they helped me regain control. And Dean…” She trailed off, and Celeste knew something juicy was coming.

“Dean is…he was like a hurricane. We started out as friends and then one day our connection changed…like a bad storm where you can feel the tingle in the air, the wind smells different, and the sense that something was coming. He was the sexiest man I’d ever seen, and I fell in love with him. When we were together, I was so happy. But it was just the calm before the storm. Dean comes with baggage that would put LAX to shame, and though it never really mattered to me, it mattered to him. He was the kind of guy who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and blamed himself for it being so heavy. But with me, he was happy. I knew in my soul he was, he allowed himself to take the weight off. When I got pregnant, he was jumping for joy. We were reading books together, going to check-ups…it felt like we finally got a chance at normal.”

“You were pregnant? And you never told me?” Celeste yelled, upset.

“I lost the baby.” Bianca announced solemnly.

Celeste walked over and hugged her sister as she wept. “The doctors never really found out why…they said it was common with first pregnancies…but I knew it was because of me. God was punishing me for abandoning you…for abandoning your baby…I should’ve been here helping.”

“Shh…” Celeste soothed her.

When she calmed down a little she continued the story. “All the joy from before just vanished. When I miscarried, everything changed. The storm was gone, and there was nothing left but the destruction left behind. _Dean_ changed. He stopped talking to me, he wouldn’t look at me…it was like he stopped loving me. And I knew he blamed me too. When I left him…he didn’t even try to stop me.”

She wiped her tears on her sleeve. “I moved to Texas and became a waitress. For weeks, I moved through my life like a machine—wake up, go to work, come home, sleep, and repeat. The days would meld together and everything became a blur. Until my coworker turned up dead.”

“Girl what is it with you and trouble? Damn!” Celeste exclaimed.

“Story of my life, literally. A siren was using our diner as his own buffet. Of course, Sam and Dean caught wind of the case and popped back into my life. When I saw him again, all those feelings came rushing back. I was so angry, I still am. He begged me to take him back, apologizing and promising things would be better that time around but…I had lost a piece of myself. A chunk of my soul had been taken from me before I even got to know it. Lest, I was _so_ ready to become a mother…I wanted it _so_ badly. I was terrified, but I knew everything would turn out okay if he and I stayed a team. I pictured what our child would look like in my mind, and I wanted to start a family with him. I wanted you to meet my family, for Julian to play with his little cousin. But I couldn’t take the risk. I told him I forgave him, but the next morning I left and didn’t look back. For two months, I’ve been moving from town to town all through the south to keep him from catching up to me. I don’t think I slept anywhere longer than one night. Because I knew if he found me, I would lose my nerve and take him back. I only came here when I thought it was safe, and he’d given up. I never told him about you guys.”

Celeste fiercely looked her in the eyes, worried about the safety of her child. “Is he dangerous?”

Bianca shook her head. “Not to me…and certainly not to you guys. I would _never_ let anything happen to you or Julian.”

Celeste looked satisfied for now, but she still worried for her sister. “B, it still sounds like you’re just running again. You can’t keep running from your problems.”

“Somewhere inside I think I know that…that’s why I came here. It was time to face this house again. For some reason, I felt like I had to do this first. It may take me a while, but every journey begins with the first step.”

Bianca froze, and held her breath. “Celeste what are you cooking?” She asked, breathing in as little as possible.

“I just put on cabbage, it’s started to heat up. I can smell it starting to cook now. Why?”

Bianca darted out of the room and fell into the bathroom, relieving the contents of her stomach.

Celeste just stood in the doorway knowingly, with her arms folded while she smirked.

“You fucked him, didn’t you?” She asked smartly.

Bianca heaved harder into the porcelain bowl. “And did you wear a condom?” She asked rhetorically.

Bianca just flipped her off.

Celeste rolled her eyes and laughed. “Come on dummy, that’s the oldest rule in the book. Everybody knows a woman is extremely fertile after a pregnancy, miscarriage or not. I swear, if sense was common, everyone would have it.”

Bianca flushed the toilet, and used the towel Celeste threw in her face to wipe her mouth. She sat against the tub and just looked at her sister with a smile. “You’re such a bitch.”

Celeste gave her a smug smile. “At least this bitch ain’t pregnant!”

Bianca rolled her eyes. “Slut bucket.” She called her.

“Ho nugget.” Celeste answered, the way they did when they were teenagers making Bianca smile.

She may have felt literally sick to her stomach, but Bianca was glad to be home and have her sister back.

 

When Bianca fell asleep that night, her dreams were not as pleasant as they had been before. Realizing belatedly that she was probably pregnant again and reliving the death of her parents had taken a toll on her mind.

The nightmares she suffered were dark and frightening, and she was unable to wake herself from it.

 

_She was standing in motel room in Alabama, her parents standing before her covered in their own blood. They screamed at her how disappointed in her they were, how badly they thought her life turned out, and the poor choices she’s made. She felt the Elias Mitchell’s knife burrow deep into her gut._

_She was standing before her own grave, buried next to her parents, watching her sister from behind as she wept on the ground. No matter how hard she screamed, Celeste couldn’t hear her._

_She was laying on the floor of her apartment in New York, Shawn crouching above her with his gun forced deep in her mouth with his finger on the trigger._

_She was waking up in the bunker, the mattress she shared with Dean stained red with her blood and agonizing pain in her uterus. She screamed in horror at the top of her lungs as she stared at the wetness on her hands. It was everywhere. She looked up and saw Dean standing in the corner, staring at her. The look on his face…it was like she disgusted him._

_“Dean, the baby…” She sobbed at him but his face remained unsympathetic._

_“It never would’ve worked,” He said. “It wasn’t meant to be. How could we ever have something good? Neither of us deserved it.”_

_“Please, don’t say that…” She begged._

_“Why, because it’s true?” He yelled, pushing himself away from the wall to come closer. “Because it was obvious that we failed again, just like everything else we try to do? Bianca, we failed that damned kid, and it wasn’t even born yet!”_

_“You don’t mean that!” She yelled back._

_“We were wrong!” He screamed at her. “We were wrong for caring! We were wrong for even trying! Why did we ever think we could be happy? We’re fucked up Bianca! You and me, we’re broken…and we would’ve just fucked up Junior too!”_

_“Junior?” She asked, ignoring his other statements. “You wanted a boy?”_

_“It doesn’t matter what I wanted…” He said gravely. “I never get what I want. I wanted you…and I couldn’t even keep that.”_

She was standing at a crossroads, a place she didn’t recognize. The old dirt roads stretched out in all four directions for miles, not a single tree or building in sight. To the east, sky was tinged pink with the coming sunrise. To the west, the sky was dark and angry with the promise of a violent storm rolling in. She looked down at her feet, and she stood dead center of both roads.

She turned all the way around in a full circle as the strong winds roared around her, looking for something…anything.

When she faced forward again, someone stood in front of her. She couldn’t believe it, it was her but…it wasn’t. The woman looked like her, but she radiated with beauty and she was glowing. Her hair was long and curly, reaching all the way to her lower back. Her face was full of color, her lips full, and her eyes weren’t hazel like her own, the irises were gold. Her stomach was round with child.

“I know what you’re thinking,” The woman spoke, and her voice was musical and soothing. “Bad things happen at crossroads. But what you hunters fail to remember is that the meeting of two roads wasn’t always the territory of demons. Since the beginning of time, crossroads have always had a deeper meaning. But you knew that already.” She gave a toothy white grin.

Bianca was so confused. She looked up at the stormy clouds gathering in the distance. “What is that?”

“You don’t need me to tell you what it is, you feel it in your gut. The same way you felt it the night your family stopped at that motel in Alabama…the same way you felt it when Shawn first shook your hand…and the same way you felt it the moment you realized you were in love with Dean.” She said ominously.

Bianca looked to the east to see the sun coming up over the horizon. “What should I do?” She subconsciously placed her hand on her abdomen.

The woman looked at her lovingly. “Turn your face towards the sun, let the shadows fall behind you. Don't look back, just carry on…and the shadows will never find you.” She spoke sagely.

“I can’t go back…it’s not worth my soul.” Bianca cried.

“Perhaps,” The woman agreed. “Or perhaps, staying away is ripping your soul apart. You’ve felt the pain of losing just a piece of it…that part is gone now and it’s never coming back. Do you really want to know the pain of having it split in two?”

Bianca looked down at the road. “But it’s not just me…not anymore.” She wrapped her arms around her middle. “If it doesn’t work out, I won’t be the only one who gets hurt. I have to do what’s right for them.”

“And you will,” The woman agreed again. “You will always do what’s right for your child, even when it’s at great cost to you. Never doubt that, Bianca.”

“I’m scared. What if I choose wrong?” Bianca confessed.

The woman walked over to her, and placed her soft hands on Bianca’s shoulders. Bianca immediately felt a warmth spread through her being. The woman smelled like sunshine, a summer breeze, pine trees, wild flowers, and sweet fruit all at the same time. It was intoxicating and kind of amazing.

She gently turned Bianca to face east to watch the rising sun, and whispered in her ear. “It’s time you faced the sky.”

When Bianca woke up, her face and pillow were wet with tears. Her throat was raw so she knew she’d been screaming. But somehow, her gut told her she would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one...


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Dean - Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean lives with Bianca's absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double-feature? Whaaaaaa? lol

**Chapter Fifteen: Dean – Love**

Dean had been incredibly stupid. He’d taped a picture of the ultrasound to the mirror in the bathroom of his trailer, and when he was called back to set he’d forgotten his phone. Panicking he would miss a call if Bianca finally called him back, he sent some random PA he didn’t recognize to get it for him. Within 4 hours, the picture was circulating on the web and the rumors of Bianca’s pregnancy was trending worldwide.

So now, not only was Dean incredibly stupid, he was at a loss. It had been exactly 36 days, 8 hours, and 14 minutes since Bianca walked out his life for the second time and he had no idea what to do. After shooting that episode, filming went on a temporary break thankfully so work didn’t require his presence. Which is good, because he didn’t really have a presence at the moment. Dean had seen himself in the mirror, and he knew what he looked like. He looked far worse this time than when he’d lost her back in his universe, his reflection looked like a ghost. His relapse with the bottle had definitely taken its toll on him.

Most days he cried, watched television until his eyes hurt, or drank until he passed out. He found himself listening to her old R&B records, realizing he could relate with most of the music she left behind. On her old Ipod she had a healthy mix of early R&B & Soul to the current. Whenever he got really drunk and left her sappy voicemails, the song “Teachme” by Musiq Soulchild always playing in the background. Dean wasn’t much for R&B but the words resonated with him. When he first listened to it the lyrics brought him to tears.

He’d been laying on the floor in the empty soon-to-be nursery with a bottle of Jack and her IPOD, reflecting on all his decisions that led him to this point.

 _‘Teach me how to love_  
_Show me the way to surrender my heart, girl I'm so lost_  
 _Teach me how to love_  
 _How I can get my emotions involved_  
 _Teach me, show me how to love_  
 _Show me the way to surrender my heart, girl I'm so lost_  
 _Teach me how to love_  
 _How I can get my emotions involved_  
 _Teach me, how to love_

 

Dean knew he was flawed. He knew he didn’t really know how to love another person, he’d never really had a good example of it growing up and didn’t really know what it was like. Not until Bianca. He may not have shown her in the right ways, but he knew what he felt for her was real and he never wanted it with anyone else.

 _‘Ain't nobody ever took the time to try to teach me what love was but you_  
_And I ain't never trust anyone enough to let ‘em tell me what to do_  
 _Teach me how to really show it and show me how to really love you baby_  
 _Teach me please just show me_  
 _'Cause I'm willing_  
 _To let go of my fears girl I'm serious_  
 _About all that I've said_  
 _Girl I wanna love you with all my heart_  
 _Baby show me where to start’_

He listened as Musiq sang all the turmoil that was clouding together in his heart. Back in his universe, his Bianca used to always say that Musiq Soulchild was a man who understood what love was, and even made a song about it. Scrolling through her playlist he found that track and closed his eyes, ignoring the tears that fell down to his ears.

 _‘Love_  
_So many things I've got to tell you_  
 _But I'm afraid I don't know how_  
 _'Cause there's a possibility_  
 _That you'll look at me differently_  
 _Love_  
 _Ever since the first moment I spoke your name_  
 _From then on I knew that by you being in my life_  
 _Things were destined to change 'cause..._  
  
_Love_  
 _So many people use your name in vain_  
 _Love_  
 _Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray_  
 _Love_  
 _Through all the ups and downs, the joys, and hurts_  
 _Love_  
 _For better or worse I still will choose you first’_

If he tried really hard and allowed his heart to imagine it, it felt like she was laying right beside him. He could smell her perfume, feel the warmth of her skin on his, and the soft touch of her hand resting over his heart. The tears were streaming but he didn’t bother to wipe them away. By the time he fell asleep, the bottle of Jack was empty. He refused to think about what Sam would say if he could see how much of a sap he was being.

Other days he found himself stalking her on the internet, ignoring Jared’s calls and attempts to get him out the house. She hadn’t done anything worth noting of course, not since they separated. He already knew avoiding the limelight was her top priority at the moment because she didn’t want photos to confirm any rumors. That was something they’d decided together before everything happened, but now he wasn’t sure of much of anything anymore. He refused to think they might actually be announcing a divorce at the same time.

He tried with everything in him to hold back and give her the space she needed, but that battle was lost after the first week. He called her every day, sometimes multiple times a day, but she never answered. The voicemails he left her ranged from him being in tears, to him trying to pretend he was fine by being nonchalant. Yet no matter what he did, she would only communicate with him through messages. He was grateful she never blocked his number. She rarely left her mother’s townhouse in Brooklyn, only ever for doctor’s appointments. She kept him informed of her doctor’s visits and the baby’s health, which he was grateful for. She sent him pictures of Dallas nearly every day, which made him feel better and worse at the same time. She was getting so big, not being with them was breaking his heart further She never included herself in any of the pictures, which hurt. He missed her so much, with everything that he was, and he just wished he could see her again.

Then suddenly, photos broke out on twitter of her having a private lunch with some guy. The paparazzi photos were blurry at best, but Dean could clearly see her wearing his own black AC/DC sweatshirt, just baggy enough to hid her ever growing bump. She also wore his favorite blue Dallas Cowboys hat low to hide her face, both items he wasn’t aware were missing until he saw the pictures. But none of those things bothered him, what bothered him most was the man she was eating with. Unfortunately for him they were only able to photograph his back, but it was plain to see he was tall with broad shoulders and long dark hair.

His first thought was that it was Jared, but he knew Jared would’ve called him. He was halfway through the checkout process of booking a last-minute flight to New York when the gossip sites announced it was James Barnes, wide receiver for the New York Giants that she was dining with. Dean saw red. He forced himself to take deep, slow breaths before typing out a text to her.

**D: How was the chicken marsala?**

He knew without a doubt that’s what she ordered because it was her favorite from that restaurant. He pressed send before he could contemplate just how creepy him stalking her like this was.

**B: Calm down, James and I were just catching up. We went to high school together before he moved to NY for college ball. He and his HUSBAND Steve are expecting, and their surrogate could have the baby any day now.**

**B: And the chicken was dry :/  
**

**B: Seriously, I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, and then the chicken taste like wood.**

Dean smiled. Bianca, being the beautiful, patient, and understanding angel she was knew Dean too well. With just two texts, she’d not only calmed his fears but made him laugh with Rapper's Delight. It was her way of letting him know he had nothing to worry about. And it was also the first time she’d responded to his texts in over a month. She only ever talked about Dallas and the baby. It lifted his spirits because she let him know it wasn’t a date. He was counting it as progress.

The next day found him in her studio with his guitar, something he’d picked up to pass the time, and was about record his next video. He would rehearse one of her favorite songs (and though he would never admit it to anyone else but most of them were from her Ipod) and every few days he would send her his recording of it hoping she would respond to him. Even though she hasn’t said anything about the videos, he figured he would still try. He was sticking to his promise that this time, he would never stop fighting for her.

He pushed record.

“Hey B. I just wanted to say I miss you. So much. And uh, I love you. Ya know, I still feel silly for doing this, I’m not good with the touchy-feeley crap, but I’ll try for you. You probably stopped listening a long time ago, but…here I am. I’d do anything for you. All I’m asking for is a chance.”

He started strumming the notes, and sang the lyrics aloud.

 _'Cause there'll be no sunlight_  
_If I lose you, baby_  
 _There'll be no clear skies_  
 _If I lose you, baby_  
 _Just like the clouds_  
 _My eyes will do the same, if you walk away_  
 _Everyday it'll rain, rain…_ ’

“ _Ra-a-a-in._ ” Bianca harmonized from behind him, making him freeze. His heart stopped beating. He slowly removed the guitar strap from his shoulder to turn around and see if she was really there.

She stood in the doorway of the studio, wearing a denim jacket, black leggings, and a tight black tank top that revealed just how much her bump had grown. Her face was a little fuller than he remembered, and she looked utterly exhausted, but to him she looked like an angel.

“B?” He asked tentatively.

“Who knew my husband was secretly a Bruno Mars fan?” She smirked, removing her sunglasses.

Dean cleared his throat to regain some of his cool. “Yeah well, don’t go runnin’ to the papers about it.”

She chuckled and slowly approached him as he stopped the recording.

“Am I?” He asked, timidly.

“Are you what?” She asked back.

He swallowed thickly. “Still your husband…” He said weakly.

She only smiled, and placed a hand on his cheek. “Jay, you will _always_ be my husband. I’m not saying that everything is fixed, but I’ve thought on it for a long time and…we won’t be able to work on our problems if I’m thousands of miles away.”

She grabbed both his hands and looked him in the eyes. “So I figured…I’d move back in for a week. I had to finally be honest with myself about why I was staying away…obviously the hurt I felt was a huge part of it, but when I took a deeper look inside myself I knew on some subconscious level it was because the minute I saw you, I knew I would take you back. I would do my best to move on because that’s how I’ve handled it in the past, and it’s why we’re here now. This time, we’re going to be honest with each other and talk about it. Now, I realize a week isn’t enough time to work through our issues, but it’s enough time to have the necessary conversations and begin on the right track. That is…if you’re willing?”

He could only nod, and smiled at her through his tears. He pulled her into a tentative hug, and relaxed when he felt her embrace him back. He wept into her shoulder, the sensation of her lips and smile against his neck warming him down to his soul.

“But if try this shit again, you gon’ lose your wife.” She promised in his ear, and he could only chuckle. “Never Bianca…never again.” He promised back.

When they finally pulled away Dean wouldn’t let her go too far, pulling her in to wrap his arms around her from behind. His hands rested on her large belly, and he felt his unborn child kick. “Somebody’s happy to see me.” He remarked.

She rolled her eyes in laughter. “Yeah, and wouldn’t stop kicking the entire flight. I should’ve just reserved my seat in the bathroom because that’s where I spent all my time. I swear I’ve been peeing like a racehorse.”

Dean chuckled. “God, I missed your oversharing.”

She laughed hard, coming from deep in her belly. “And I just peed a little, damn it!” She wiped at her eyes.

He shook his head at her antics, and kissed her cheek. “I missed you. So much.”

“Yeah, who knew I was the reason you invested in personal hygiene.” She said, sniffing comically. “And using my studio! Seriously, who do you think you are?”

Dean blushed. “Yeah, it’s just the acoustics or whatever sounded better…” He stumbled.

“Of course they did, I designed it that way!” She snapped back.

“Plus…” He trailed off, and shrugged. “Being in here made me feel closer to you.”

She was quiet when he said that. Before she could respond, he grabbed her hand. “Come on, I have something to show you.”

He led her upstairs in excitement, cautious not too go too fast since she was wobbling.

He opened the door to the bedroom they once shared, and let her step in first. What she saw made her smile.

“Is that—”

“A new bed, yeah. New bed, new mattresses, new furniture, everything. I had the bathroom redone too…took out my shower and had them put one of those fancy tubs in it. I uh…I had them make your shower bigger just in case you ever felt like sharing.” He waggled his eyebrows.

She pursed her lips at him after checking out the walk-in shower. “You think you slick, don’t you?”

He ran his hand through his hair with a cheeky smile.

“I just…this is our home, you know, and I only wanted our memories to be a part of it. I haven’t even slept in the bed yet…I didn’t wanna sleep in it without you.”

“Jay, that’s sweet, but I wasn’t even gone a month…”

“I may have paid extra so they’d work a little faster. Plus a few autographs, you’d be surprised how many contractors have teenage daughters that watch the show.”

Bianca just laughed at him. “Well maybe you should use the shower, since you’ve been living like you’re allergic to water.”

“You’re just full of jokes today, aren’t you?” He smirked.

“Nah, I’m full of baby, but I see where you got confused.” She said cheekily as she walked back out into the bed room.

“Okay, I have one more thing to show you then I’ll shower.”

“Thank GAWD!” She said dramatically and he poked her with a smile.

He let her to the third bedroom, and opened the door slowly. She teared up as she stepped in.

“All the stuff we’d been ordering finally arrived so I started putting the nursery together…I bought a few more things here and there, but if there’s anything you don’t like we can change it.”

“Jay, this is beautiful.” She whispered, wiping her eyes. He’d decorated the entire nursery. The walls were painted a soft sky blue with white fluffy clouds everywhere, and bars of music painted around the crib. The bedding matched the blue of the walls, with coordinating midnight blues to simulate the night sky. The soft cream carpet under the crib added to the theme, it felt like one big cloud. The mobile hanging above the crib had an airplane, a microphone, and a plush black impala. The large furry rug in the center of the room was bright yellow and shaped like the sun, matching the blanket thrown on the chair.

“The uh…the music on the walls is the actual sheet music from the lullaby you sing to Dallas…that song you wrote called Heaven. And Stairway to Heaven, of course. Had to put Zeppelin there too…the kid needs to know rock greatness.”

She just looked at him.

“As well as R&B greatness!” He added, hands up in surrender making her laugh.

Satisfied with his answer, she slowly spun around the nursery with tears in her eyes. “Jay…it’s _perfect_.” She cracked, the emotion making her voice break.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her center, burying his nose in her hair to absorb her presence and remind himself that she was really here.

“Baby, with you here…it is now.” He whispered, his own voice thick. His calloused hands gripped the curve of her belly, delighting in the sensation of feeling his kid kick.

He relished in the moment…he loved Dallas with all his heart, something he was never sure he’d be capable of after his loss in his world, but the little girl had gripped his heart with her small hands and refused to let go. He happily surrendered. But this child, the baby inside her…this was a life that he _knew_ they created together. This baby was half Dean Winchester, and while that frightened him, it made his heart soar like nothing else has ever done.

“Okay…enough tears.” She wiped at her face chuckling, the smile on her face too permanent to leave. “God, my emotions are all over the place these days. Yesterday, I cried at Sophia the First.”

Dean just laughed at his wife, and kissed her ear. She left the room and he followed, closing the door behind him. “I’m starving, and you stink. We need to solve both these problems. So why don’t you shower, and I’ll go make us something to eat.” She offered.

He gently grabbed her wrist to pull her back into his arms. “Hmm…how about I take a quick—”

She cut him off with a look, and he knew immediately what she wanted to hear.

“But _thorough_ …shower while you grab a quick snack and when I’m done I’ll make us something to eat.”

She considered his offer. “Will you make your world-famous burgers?” She looked up into his eyes hopefully, like a puppy.

“Baby, I will slaughter the cow for those burgers if that’s what you want.”

“Yes!” She fist-pumped in excitement, making Dean laugh at her antics. His wife was such a dork. “I meant what I said, grab a bag of those fruit chips and seat your cute butt right on the couch. With your feet up, no cooking or cleaning anything.”

“Cleaning? Why would you mention cleaning? My kitchen is a mess isn’t it, did you destroy my kitchen?” She rambled getting more upset.

“None of your business and don’t worry about it, you’re only business right now is Netflix.” He swatted her butt and sent her on her way. “Go!” He encouraged.

She pouted and pretended to be upset. “I’m going because I want to, not because you told me. Shoot, all I know is that kitchen better be spotless the next time I’m ready to cook something. Or cows won’t be the only thing getting slaughtered around here.” Her voice trailed off as she headed for the stairwell and as Dean watched her retreating form, the cloud that had been his constant companion for the past month dissipated. He knew he was in for a tumultuous, emotionally-exhausting week once they started the process of opening up to each other…but the happiness growing inside him only made him look forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos are welcome but comments are love. Thanks to everyone who's sticking by me with this one! I believe there might be one more chapter, and then part two will be what's next. Hope you stay tuned!


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Jensen - I'm Happy You're Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen realizes exactly what he has to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of part one. Here we go.

**Chapter Sixteen: Jensen - Home**

 

Jensen limped slowly towards his bedroom in an attempt not to jostle his bruised ribs, though every step and every breath he took sent fire racing through his nerves. The duffle bag he had thrown over his shoulder felt like hit weighed a ton, and his head was throbbing. He glanced behind him as he walked through the bunker, noting Sam wasn’t much better off than he was. The pack of werewolves they’d just fought had been formidable, and though he had been pretty clueless when he first arrived here he picked up hunting pretty quickly. Still, one of them had gotten the drop on him and now he was paying the price for it. When he finally saw his bedroom door, he felt like he would cry tears of joy.

Opening the door, he noticed the person sitting on his bed and he dropped the duffle bag, pain long forgotten.

“Hi Dean.” She said softly, with an unsure smile.

His heart stopped beating. “Bianca?” He asked timidly, not believing his own eyes.

He and Sam had been following her trail for weeks, and when it finally ran cold he gave up hope of ever seeing her again. The depression he fell in was nothing compared to the episodes Dean had in the past, since Jensen had never dealt with such a loss. Not only had he started drinking, he stopped eating or leaving his room. He even stopped speaking all together. No matter what Sam did, the plates of food he gave him were left untouched and he refused to leave his bed. Sam never said it, but he could tell he had been scared for him. When Sam suggested they just needed to do a few jobs to take his mind off it, Jensen didn’t argue. He just started moving without saying a word. Most of the hunts were done in silence, Jensen only speaking when he needed to. He threw himself into the job, dedicating himself to becoming an asset and not a liability. He never wanted to be the reason Sam got hurt. It became clear to him why his character cared for Sam so much, because Sam was a genuinely good person.  


But now, face to face with the one person he’d been praying to see the most, he was still speechless. All the words he’d wanted to say, all the speeches he’d planned and rehearsed in his head left him.

 

“You’re hurt,” She said, noticing the deep cut above his brow. “I’ll go get the first aid kit. Sit down.” She ordered and he complied, still stunned in disbelief. When she tried to walk past him his hand shot out to grab her wrist before he knew what he was doing.

She looked down at where his hand held her, then back up into his eyes. He didn’t say a word but his eyes were pleading. “I’m coming back, Dean. I promise.”

She placed her hand on his and gave it a light squeeze, and his eyes fell to where their skin made contact. He could only nod.

She returned a minute later with the first aid kit and laid everything she would need out on his bed. He silently watched as she worked, focusing only on her face. As she started to clean his cut, he was able to find his voice.

“You left me.” He stated gruffly, his voice raw from disuse. He felt her falter slightly, but her face gave nothing away. “I know.” She replied.

She softly blew on the cut after cleaning it to cool the burn, and Dean felt an involuntary shudder go over him. Silence grew between them as she placed the bandages over it.

“ _You left me_.” He stated again, this time with more accusation.

“I _know_.” She replied once more, this time with regret and frustration.

“You ran away. For _weeks_ , I tried to find you, we looked **_EVERYWHERE_** for you and you ran away!” He yelled.

“I know!” She yelled back, tears falling. “I know I ran, but Dean…can you blame me?”

He was quiet, allowing her to get everything off her chest. “I was scared! I was _so_ afraid that you would suck me back in just to leave me high and dry again. What did I have to go on? What did have to reassure me that the next time the wind blew, you weren’t going to blow away with it? I’m scared to trust you, I’m scared to let you in again. I know that it’s what my heart wants but my mind just keeps reminding me of how it felt to lose you. I meant what I said Dean…I can’t handle going through that again.”

He pulled her into his lap and let her cry into his chest. He allowed himself to hold her, just the way he’d been dreaming for the last few weeks.

When she finally calmed down, he gently grabbed her face to make her look him in the eyes.

He spoke quietly. “I’m just happy you’re home.”

She pulled him into a hug and he ignored the pain he felt in his ribs, hugging her back when everything he had. “Please don’t leave me again…” He whispered into her hair, finally allowing his own tears to fall.

Moments passed before she stood and started to undress him. When he was comfortably down to just his boxers, she pulled back the covers for him to slide in. Once he relaxed against the pillows, she tucked him in and reached for the lamp on the table by his bed. Yet again, he reached for her wrist to stop her.

She gave him a soft smile. “I promise I’m not going anywhere. You need to rest.”

“Not without you.” He said with conviction.

Shocked by the emotion in his eyes, she stripped down and laid beside him. His body curled around hers, burrowing his face in her curls. Neither spoke as they finally closed their eyes, but she could sense everything he wished to say to her. She knew it, because he’d told her in Texas. And here he was, showing her how much he needs her by holding her so close. For the first time since she’d walk away all those months ago, he was giving her soul the peace she’d been missing.

When Bianca woke three hours later, she found the spot next to her cold and fear gripped her heart. She looked around, but found herself alone. She was startled when the bedroom door opened, and the very face she’d been frantically searching for appeared in the crack. Once he realized there was panic in her eyes, he entered the room immediately and closed the door behind him.

“Sorry,” He said gruffly before clearing his throat, still raw from weeks of disuse. “I didn’t leave, I just wanted to let Sam know you were here, I tried to make it back before you woke up.” His face was entirely apologetic.

She sat up against the pillows, bringing her knees under her chin so she could wrap her arms around them. “It’s okay.” She whispered.

He stared at her, took in her body language and tried to decipher what she was thinking. But now more than ever, her mind was a mystery to him.

“I uh…I know that the last time we saw each other wasn’t exactly…” He trailed off, neither of them able to pick the unspoken words to fill in the blank.

“I realized that I may have…I moved a little too fast? Kind of rushed into things, didn’t I?” Jensen scratched the back of his neck nervously, having trouble expressing himself.

Bianca could only nod in response.

“Look, I get it. All the hurt, the anger, the pain you went through when you left lasted for weeks… _months_ …that kind of emotion doesn’t go away overnight. You were right to distance yourself…to protect yourself from all of the emotion I was forcing on you. You had no reason to trust what I was telling you, so you were right to keep your guard up.”

“Thank you.” She spoke.

“But you were wrong to run.” He said resolutely.

The conviction in his tone made her look him in the eye. His eyes were moist with tears that had yet to fall, and his face looked so vulnerable it nearly broke her heart. “Bianca I know I was wrong and that what I did nearly broke you…it damn near broke us beyond repair…but you were still willing to hear me out because you clearly feel as strongly for me as I do for you. And if you care about me, about us, the way I suspect you do…then that means I deserve the chance to earn your trust back. To prove to you that I’m the man you’re meant to be with for the rest of this life because your presence in mine makes it a life worth living. Bianca…please…I know what I’m asking you for is scary. I’m scared too. But all I’m asking is a week.”

“A week?” Bianca asked, confused.

“One week. I know we can’t magically fix everything in seven days but I believe if we take some time to actually talk through what happen…to process what we loss like we should have done a long time ago…you _will_ believe in me and then…maybe then you’ll feel safe enough to let me back in.”

Bianca considered it. “We would have to put everything on the table. Hold nothing back.” She demanded.

“Of course,” He agreed.

“I mean it, Dean. The Good, The Bad—”

“The Ugly, and the Unspoken. Trust me, I got it.” He finished.

She was speechless, unsure of if she should agree. He slowly approached the bed and sat down at the foot, caressing her leg above the cover. “Look baby, I’ve already sent Sam packing for the week. So the bunker is ours. I’m not trying to pressure you anymore, I’m through with that—Texas was proof enough that you do not need me rushing things. I promise to sleep in my own bed, and to give you your space. But I also promise to make you breakfast every day, to cook you dinner every night, and to hold you as often as you’ll allow me. I’m going to show you how much I cherish you, Bianca. And I’m going to listen to everything you have to say.”

If he noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks and the look of turmoil painted on her face, he politely chose not to comment on it. Nor did he crowd her or wrap his arms around her. He was done taking from her, everything he received from this moment forward—he wanted to earn it. To be worthy of it.

To be worthy of her.

His own eyes watered as he blew out a shaky breath. “If…if you decide that you can’t do it…the **_moment_** you make up your mind that this isn’t what you want…I’ll let you go. I swear on my life, I will.” He promised.

He waited for her response, his heart frozen in his chest. When she finally looked up he was met with her watery smile. He was stricken by how fragile she looked. This woman, the love of his life, broken down and emotionally scarred because of him. He was done being the cause of her torture.

She took his hand in her own. “I’m willing to try.” He brought that hand to his lips, hoping the gratitude he felt was permeating through the soft kiss.

He didn’t know that she could see it shining in his eyes.

 

*****END OF PART ONE*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? What did you think? What do you think so far? You know I can't let these characters make up that easy. Things are TRULY about to get ugly...in both universes.


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